Dear brother, this is the third lesson in the series "Raising children in Islam" and today we are tackling "faith-based education".

Your children are your continuity so teach them about Islam:

 Dear brother, Allah the Almighty says:

((This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. But as for him who is forced by severe hunger, with no inclination to sin (such can eat these above-mentioned meats), then surely, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.))

[Al-Ma’idah’, 3]

 This ayah denotes that the topics which have been tackled in religion are perfect in quantity (perfect in numbers), and are complete in quality (they are tackled from all aspects and in the full sense).

((This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. But as for him who is forced by severe hunger, with no inclination to sin (such can eat these above-mentioned meats), then surely, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.))

 The first person whom you should the true Islam is your son, for he is your continuity. Your happiness is derived from his happiness and your misery is derived from his. You are tiding up to him strongly; your destiny is his and vise versa.

 Your success in raising your children properly will be the very reason of your happiness. The following ayah confirms this point,

((And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun" (pious).))

[Al-Furqan, 74]

Parenthood is a great responsibility:

 What breaks the heart is that the father himself may not not be up to the sacred mission he is assigned to; his mission in raising his children, increasing their knowledge about Islam and teaching them the roots of faith, the pillars of Islam, prophetic Sunnah and Islamic laws. The father may not be able to accomplish this mission, because whosoever lacks something is unable to deliver it to sh3er.

 Out of my long experience and sound facts, I know beyond doubt that most mistakes children commit are due to the ones the parents committed. The child is an innocent creature, and he is just like playing dough. Thus, if you lied in front of your child you are indirectly teaching him to lie, if you neglect performing Salah in front of him, you are teaching him negligence and if you address him harshly or use bad words, then you are teaching him bad-mouthing. Thus, students make mistakes due to teachers’ mistakes, likewise, children do wrongdoings due to their parents' wrongdoings..

 Stop being outrageous and raising hell on your son before realizing that you might be the very reason behind every fault he does.
 Therefore, fatherhood is a great responsibility, for the father is the leader, the example, the role model, the teacher and the center of attention to his children.
 When children turn out to be different than the father hoped for, the heart of the latter will be ripped off. We tell him then: it is too late for any remorse.

Parents should care for their children and know everything about them:

 Dear brother, when the sons cannot be whom the fathers want them to be, fathers usually make a comparison between their situation and the one of our Prophet Nuh, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. Drawing such analogy is a deadly mistake.. Nuh is a noble prophet, whom did his best with his son; he exerted effort and spent time to raise his son, but his son refused to listen to him and he chose his own path. This case is very rare, and it may occur once in every one hundred thousand cases.

 If your situation with your son is similar to this one, then you are definitely excused. However, when the father never teaches his son good manners, never gives him a piece of advice, never being a good example and never asks about his friends, he cannot be excused.

 Dear brother, bear in mind that the effects of the father, the mother, the school, older brother, older sisters and the scholar in the Masjid do not exceed 40 percent on the child, whereas the effect of bad friends is 60 percent. Hence, you should know the friends of your sons and daughters; otherwise you will be in a maze. Your children may be influenced negatively by their bad friends.

 The successful father is the one who knows the minute details about his son’s friends. Similarly, the successful mother is the one who knows every single detail about her daughter’s friends.
 Prophet Nuh is an exceptional case, for he made every effort to have a good son, but his son made his own choice. With respect to the following ayah, we have in religious knowledge what is called "versus sense," Allah says:

(("If You leave them, they will mislead Your slaves, and they will beget none but wicked disbelievers."))

[Nuh, 27]

 The "versus sense" here is indicated when we ask, "What will believers then beget?" Absolutely a believer. The pious believer who is keen on having an Islamic home, where the father is pious and the mother is a devoted Muslim woman, the prayers are performed on time, mercy on the children is always there, spirituality and bless hover all over the place, no sins are committed, no bad words are allowed, religious lessons are given, father’s friends are good men and mother’s friends wear hijab, will definitely have believing children. Verify all your children’s mistakes are because of you. You may not be a good example for your son, or you may not be caring about him.
 Triumph lies in looking after your son. I have noticed that all students’ faults in the university are because of their teacher’s faults. Much in the same line, all children’s faults are because of their parents’ faults.

Happiness lies in having pious children:

 The website of BBC TV channel displayed on the internet a program about molested children. Upon surfing it, I expected to find one or two pages about this subject, but I was shocked when I saw that there were 180 pages full of kids’ testimonies of being molested mostly by relatives. These sexual abuses can take place in picnics where the parents do not keep an eye on their children.. Sexual abuse has dangerous effects on adults because their sexual pervasions are the consequence of being molested when they were little children.

 Dear brother, I swear by Allah that you will never be happy unless your son turns out to be as you hope for him. A father whose son was very bad, once told me, "By Allah, if my son will run over by a car I will celebrate his death." You may find kids who are the source of joy to their parents, while the sh3er are the reason of misery to their parents. In fact what goes around comes around.

 It is a great thing for the father to ask his son if he pray or not, but this is not enough. A father should teach his son the meaning of faith and its major bases. If he cannot, he may ask a scholar to do that for him. He should spend time sitting with his son, and be keen to register him in an institute of Islamic teachings. I regret the fact that most of those who study Islamic Laws are those whose scores are very low, while those who study medicine are students whose scores are high. A Muslim who feels sorry for the fact that Islam is not applied properly, will encourage his brilliant son to study Islamic Laws.

 I met one a very wise father who told me: "My son was the first in our governorate (the biggest one in the north). Therefore, I encouraged him to study Islamic studies." The father’s relatives blamed him for choosing this kind of knowledge for his son thinking that the best faculty for him is the Faculty of Medicine. The father replied to them saying a touching sentence, "By Allah, if my son were a mediocre I would choose for him any faculty to study in, but because he is intelligent, I have chosen for him religious studies. I hope that he turns out a great missionary..

Parents should raise their children to be beacons in Islam:

 We send the best students to the Faculty of Medicine l, and who are lesser brilliant to the Faculty of Pharmacy, and the lesser brilliant to the Faculty of Engineering,, and the lesser brilliant to the Faculty of Informatics. If this is the case, who will go to the Faculty of Islamic Laws? The laziest students. How painful this fact is! The graduates in the Faculty of Islamic Law lack, most of the time, shrewdness, intelligence, wisdom, quick improvisation, the power to convince, and eloquence. Where are the fathers who are worried about our religion? Where are those who will encourage their brilliant sons to study the Islamic teachings? What if every father encourages one of his brilliant sons to be a beacon for the Islamic nation? Why fathers prefer to say, "My son is Board certified in Medicine?" You should know that the deeds of those who were the reason behind guiding millions of people, will be on the scale of the deeds of their fathers.

(And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything. Every person is a pledge for that which he has earned.)

[At-Tur, 21]

 Dear brother, a father might miss a lot of achievements in his life, so he can achieve what he has missed by his son. It is noticeable that the illiterate parent is so keen on educating their children.

The wise father should achieve whatever he missed by his son:

  I mentioned earlier the child is the continuity of his father. Thus, the father can encourage his child to do the things he could not do. I once visited one of the most advanced universities in the Arab World. I spent one day there visiting its faculties, auditoriums, laboratories, and computer halls. The female students there are putting on hijab. I was astonished when I was told that the person who established this university is illiterate. His pain was so deep; therefore he decided to achieve what he has missed by educating the children of this nation.A Syrian scholar told me about a man who lived in Al Sa’eed in Egypt. He sent his son to study in Al- Azhar (a Collage of Islamic Studies. Five years later, his son came back to work as the Khateeb in the Masjid of his own village. When he performed his first sermon, the father who was one of the attendants started to cry.. Most people thought that he was crying out of joy to see his son as a scholar, but he was crying out of pain. He felt sorry for himself, because he lived his life in ignorance. The 55 year old father decided the very next day to go to Cairo by his animal. He rode about one thousand kilometers.. Upon arriving to Cairo, he asked, "Where is Al-Az’ar (he meant Al-Azhar but he didn’t know how to spell it)?" He applied to Al-Azhar and started learning reading and writing although he was 55 years old. He learnt Quran, and he lived until he became 96 years old. His main target of becoming a scholar in Al-Azhar was accomplished at last.

Faith-based education is to connect your son to the roots of Islam:

 The decision, one makes, is rarely invalidated by life. Acquiring knowledge has nothing to do with how old you are. You can seek learning even if you are in your fifties or sixties. You will be honored by being educated. We used to have courses in which we accepted students from all over the world. By Allah, we received students in their eighties. They had headed to Damascus to learn.

 A person passed away leaving huge wealth to his children whom he did not raise according to the Islamic teachings. Few days after his death, one of the dead father’s friends met the son. The man asked the son, "Where are you going?" Excuse the language, but I have to tell you what the son answered literally,"
 I am going to drink and have a toast on my father’s soul."

 You can expect things like that to happen. The wealth which the father collected by hard working, will be spent on committing sins and on wrongdoings.
 The most miserable person (in the hereafter) is the one who enters hellfire because of his money. He is the one who left his wealth to his benighted, corrupted, and heedless children.

 A benighted person, whose father is the owner of a very huge company in Syria, travelled to Egypt to make sure that things were going well with their branch there. While he was in Egypt, he asked a friend of mine, "Where is Muhammad’s grave?" He thought that the Prophet PBUH is buried in Egypt. What a shame!!! I’ll repeat over and over again; be careful; your son is your continuity in life.
 Dear brother, faith-based education is to make your son closely connected to the religious basics, roots of faith, Islamic pillars, Prophetic facts, Sunnah, the interpretation of Qur’an and the biographies of the Sahabah (companions.)

 This mission should be accomplished by you, as a father, by the mother, by a teacher, or by an institute of Islamic Studies. If whatever you believe in guarantees you salvation, then you can stick to your beliefs. However, your wrong beliefs will be reflected in bad behaviors. Faith-based education is to believe in the Glorified Names, the Divine best Attributes, and the Divine descended Books. Moreover, faith-based education embraces interpreting Allah’s Word, and comprehending the Divine preordainment in its good or bad outcome.

 Your son should be educated an Islamic education by you, by his mother, his teacher, his religious friend, or by studying a course at an institute of Islamic Studies. In brief, you should look after your son’s faith:

"It is sin enough for a man that he neglects someone whom he is supposed to feed. "

[Abu Dawood through Abdullah Bin Amr.]

 The father cares for his son’s food, cloths, drink, and health, yet he neglects his son’s faith.

Aqidah- related issues are the most crucial in Islam:

 Dear brother, if we consider Islam as a pyramid, then creed will be on the top of it, then comes the acts of worship, after that comes the transactional acts of worship, finally comes the conducts. The most essential part of Islam is Aqidah (Creed). Thus, whenever it is correct, all deeds are correct, and whenever it is corrupted, all the deeds will be corrupted.

 The default in Aqidah (Creed) can never be fixed; just like the one in a scale, while the default in behavior is similar to the one of the weighing; it will never be repeated. To be mistaken in the minor issues of Shareh’ (Islamic law) is much better than to be mistaken in Aqidah. That is why I told you if your Aqidah is right, your behavior will be right as well, how?

 Listen to this example, if a vehicle driver wrongly interpreted any warning light in the dashboard as an adornment instead of alarm warning, he will be in great danger. What is this light put there for? It is put there to tell him that there is something wrong with his car. If he continues driving, and the car breaks down, he will spend a lot of money to fix the engine. However, if he stops the car when the light is on, because he realizes it is a warning light, then he will change the oil and continue driving. In this case your intelligence lies in understanding the purpose of the warning light. Likewise, the intelligence of your son lies in being able to interpret rightly any message from Allah and be obedient to Allah as long as you raise him according to the religious principles.

Teaching your kid the real Creed is the most important mission:

 Islam is Aqidah (Creed), Ibadat (acts of worship), Mu’amalat (transactional acts of worship), and conducts. The real Creed is the most important issue, so you should know what it is all about in order to be able to teach your son. Believe it or not; the lectures of the series "Raising Children in Islam" were more beneficial to the parents, than they were to the children. Hence, parents should learn to be able to teach.

 I was told by one of Damascene scholars that he once woke up late, so his wife made a sandwich for her son, because he did not have enough time to have his breakfast. The father asked him to eat it on his way to school, but the son refused that saying, "O father, but the Prophet PBUH said:

"It is out of despicability to eat in the market"

[Tabarani, by Umamah Al Bahili]

 It is impolite to eat in the street or in the market. It is also impolite to go for walking barefooted, raise you voice while talking at home, ride your horse quickly, drive your car quickly, wander around, talk about women, cheat while weighing even by one date, and eat ill-gotten money.. Listen again to what the child said, "The Prophet PBUH said:

"It is out of despicability to eat in the market"

When your kid acquires Islamic manners you will be the happiest man ever.

 Dear brother, by Allah a grocer whose grocery was next to the Masjid told me, "A group of the Masjid’s students wanted to buy few things. They were so polite in behaving and talking. After a while, a girl without hijab came in dressed in exposed cloths, but they all lowered their gaze”, he continued, "It was very clear that those kids have good conducts".

Your heart will be indulged in joy when you see your son having good conducts, for he is your continuity, and he is your descendant.

You will be relieved if your kid follows the Divine Method:

 The Divine method accords with human nature, thus, when your son applies the Divine Method, his soul will be comfortable and he will be a peaceful child.

 I have heard one of the weirdest facts in a lecture given by a psychologist. He referred to the fact that the mother, who is a smoker, harms her embryo by the poisonous substance of cigarettes which transfer to its blood. Consequently,, this baby will turn out to be naughty, tend to break things, and to knock down stuff. Unlike this mother, the one who reauthors Quran throughout her pregnancy, will have a child tends to like Quran.

 Moreover, the mother who likes her pregnancy, will have an easy pregnancy experience, whereas the one who dislikes her pregnancy and cannot get rid of the embryo after asking the scholars, will have a very difficult pregnancy..

 There are many books nowadays about the psychology of the embryo and the harmful effects of smoking, disliking pregnancy and many other bad things. This is why the Prophet PBUH asked us to perform Azan(prayer call) in the right ear of the newborn baby, and perform Iqamah (starting prayer call) in the left one:

"Teach your children La Ilaaha Illa Allah (there is no god but Allah alone)")

 How wonderful it is to spot so many kids in the Hajj wearing the white garments, performing Hajj and circumambulating the Kabbah.. It is preferable to take your son to the Masjid with you even in Eids, to the Hajj, to the Umrah. Going to those places, the son will be able to hear great words about Allah from his father and other people.

 I do admire a custom in an Arabic country where they don’t allow sons to go out in Eid without their fathers. Even if the father is a minister, he should accompany his son. In this case, fathers make sure that nothing goes wrong, and that no one will harm their sons.

Children should be accustomed to the acts of worship at an early age:

 The Prophet used to perform Azan in the right ear of the newborn baby and Ikamah in the left one.
 Children tend to imitate the adults when they are little; if a father offers Salah, his son stands by his side to imitate him, and if the mother puts hijab, her daughter imitates her and puts hijab as well. This tendency to imitation should urge to act perfectly in front of our children (as a teaching method), then comes guiding, the Prophet PBUH said:

"Teach but don’t treat harshly, as the teacher is better than the cruel"

[Al Hareth, by Abu Hurairah]

 In order to get our children accustomed to the acts of worship, we should order them to offer these acts at an early age, hence:

"Command your children to perform Salat (prayer) when they are seven years old, and beat them for (not offering) it when they are ten"

[Al Jame’e Al Sagheer, by Amr Ibn Shu’aib]

  Therefore, your son will be already accustomed to pray when he will be thirteen since he starts praying at the age of six.. As for the daughter, some people say that their daughters are still young for hijab since at their early ages they are not obliged to cover their Awrah (intimate parts). I tell you that girls should be accustomed to apply the Islamic teachings while they are little children. Her clothes should be modest. Giving the children ideas about Islamic teachings while they are little is to get them disciplined.

Teaching your children faith, Islamic pillars, Salah, and Sawm at an early age, will enable them acquire the conducts of each act of worship even if they do not perform them regularly.

Children should be trained to love the Qur'an, the Prophet and his family:

 Children should also be trained to love the Prophet. However, this can’t be done by just saying to the kid, "O son love the prophet." This is meaningless. How we train them to love the Prophet (PBUH) then? You can do that by telling your son about the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. The father should tell his son how the Prophet (PBUH) dealt with kids, how he was racing with them, and how he used to let them ride his camel.

 Moreover, you can tell your children how the Prophet used to be delightful when he gets back home. Also you may tell them about how his grand sons Al-Hasan and Al-Hussein used to mountain his back PBUH.

 You should tell your children that the Prophet (PBUH) was children’s friend. I cannot imagine the Khateeb will stop the sermon for any reason, but the Prophet (PBUH) did. He stopped talking and left the pulpit when he saw his grandson stumbling in his walk. He held the little child and ascended the pulpit again and continued the sermon.

 Hence, we should make our children love the Prophet, and his family. Also we should get them used to reauthor the Noble Quran. In Morocco they teach children Quran before anything else. Throughout my years of teaching, I used to know the students whose parents were keen to teachthem Quran from their composition and eloquence. One of those students used the following ayah to talk about the end of the war:

((Until the war lays down its burden))

[Muhammad, 4]

 This is a Quranic expression. Most Quran Huffaz (those who memorize Quran by heart) usually use the Quranic expressions in writing. Once I wrote a book, and I had to add the vowels. Glory be to Allah, I was able to add them correctly as I remembered the same words mentioned in Qur’an. As if Quran turns into a dictionary.

 Our Master Sa’ed Ibn Abi Waqqas said, "We used to teach our kids the prophetic stories the same way we taught them a Surah from Quran." Allah says:

(( Indeed in their stories, there is a lesson for men of understanding.))

[Yusuf, 111]

Telling children anecdotes is the best method of teaching:

 The subtle fact is that anecdotes are the best method to teach children. The father, who is talented in telling stories, will be the best teacher to his children. The child whose father accompanies him to the Masjid on Friday will tell his father about the stories mentioned in the sermon when asked to summarize the main ideas of the sermon. He forgets everything except the stories, because stories can easily be memorized. Therefore, fathers can teach their children Islamic principles by making them interesting stories.

Children acquire habits at their early age:

 The following Hadith revolves around raising children, the Prophet PBUH said:

"No babe is born but upon Fitra (as a Muslim)… "

[Ahmad, by Jaber Ibn Abdullah]

 Children are the dearest creatures to Allah. They are born on Fitrah (human nature). Children are pure, delicate, shy and innocent. Their emotions are pure, so they do not know what envy is. When a father gets angry with his child and tries to discipline him, the child will throw himself on the father’s lap crying. The little child knows that his father is merciful with him even if he punishes him. Hence:

"No babe is born but upon Fitra (as a Muslim)…"

[Ahmad, by Jaber Ibn Abdullah]

 You know the Hadith. You ought to raise your children and educate them according to the Qur’anic and Prophetic teachings. I needed someone’s favor, so I asked him when I could meet him and he answered, "Tomorrow morning at my office." Then I asked, "Is it okay at 9.00 am?" Listen what he replied, "No, let it be at 6.00 am." I was surprised, because it was too early, then he added, "My father used to take me with him to the Masjid an hour before al-Fajr in order to pray Night prayers. I have been doing this for forty years. I always wake up
an hour before al-Fajr to pray Night prayers, then I go to my office." Glory be to Allah! The father's manner turned into a profound habit acquired by the son. In fact most children habits are acquired at an early age from their parents.

The first seven years of your age are the most critical ones:

 I told you once that one of the scholars (one of the leader’s makers) confirmed that all the habits that fathers want their children to have, such as honesty, faithfulness, tidiness, cleanness, taking care of teeth, peacefulness, the ability to apologize, good manners, good appearance are acquired in the first seven years. Therefore, children during these years need to be guided.

 In some countries, the developed ones, the most competent inspectors are appointed to teach in the elementary schools, whereas in the developing countries the less competent teachers with the least education degree are appointed to teach in the elementary schools. Those teachers are often frustrated, so they would be very harsh on our dearest children, and they might hit them.

 I was once asked about my opinion if the cost of education were 100 thousand per year. Paying this amount of money each year is something beyond the ability of most people. However, I have my own point of view; I think that if you pay 200 thousand pounds per year, but you know for sure that your son will acquire best conducts plus perfect education at such schools, you will be the most profiteer even if the amount you pay is half of your income. I admire fathers who do look after their kids.

 Dear brother, faith-based education is to teach your son roots of faith, Islamic pillars, Salah, Islamic conducts and good habits. This faith will increase by time, so if the son turns out to be as his parents wished for, he will be the comfort of their eyes.