- Islamic Education / Children education in Islam
- /
- Chidren education 2008
The social education:
Dear brother, this is lesson No. 25 of the series “The Education of Children in Islam” and we are still tackling the social education.
Last lecture I talked about eating manners and today I will carry on discussing the rest of the topic.
Eating manners:
First of all Islam consists of four major categories: Aqidah, acts of worship, transactions and manners.
If man’s Aqidah is right, his acts of worship will be right so are his transactions, nevertheless, there must be manners to decorate these acts of worship.
Thus every religious issue must belong to one of these four categories.
Today we will tackle the manners of eating which belong to the fourth category of this great religion.
1- Washing hands and mouth before and after eating:
Salman al-Fars narratedi: I read in the Torah that the blessing of food consists in ablution before it. So I mentioned it to the Prophet (PBUH). He said: The blessing of food consists in ablution before it and ablution after it.
Interpreters pointed out that ablution (Wudu) here doesn’t indicate the Wudu which precedes Salah, but rather it indicates washing the hands and mouth before eating.
Man during the day touches all sorts of surfaces, he might hold his shoes with his hand and he might put his hand on a dusty filthy surface, so he has to wash his hands before eating so that he guarantees that no bacteria will get to his food.
Don’t forget dear brother that the victims of the diseases of filthiness are more than 300 million around the world according to the statistics of the WHO (World Health Organization).
This great religion orders us to wash our hands and mouth very well in order to wash away all the dirt our hands collected during the day from the dust in the air, the smoke that comes out of cars’ exhausts, holding filthy things, shaking dirty hands or touching the shoes, thus in order to prevent any bacteria from reaching us we should wash our hands before meals and wash them after meals in order to clean them from food traces.
These are the prophetic instructions.
In another Hadith, Kathir bin Sulaim narrated that he heard Anas bin Malik say: “The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: ‘Whoever would like Allah to increase the goodness of his house, should perform ablution (wash hands) when his breakfast is brought to him and when it is taken away.’”
Thus due to this great religion and due to its manners, a lot of diseases are avoided in the Islamic states
2- Mentioning Allah’s Name before eating any food:
One more thing:
'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "When any of you wants to eat, he should mention the Name of Allah in the begining, (i.e., say Bismillah). If he forgets to do it in the beginning, he should say Bismillah awwalahu wa akhirahu (I begin with the Name of Allah at the beginning and at the end)."
Why do you mention the Name of Allah before eating and say: “Bism Allah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem” (In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful)?
Who created this food? Who made this milk?
﴾ And the cattle, He has created them for you﴿
Milk and all dairy products are essential in man’s nutrition, so who created this cow? The cow is a silent factory and it is subjugated to man and had it gone mad, man would have shot it right away.
Allah says:
﴾ And We have subdued them unto them ﴿
I know a man who used to own a cow, but it was afflicted with cow madness, and it killed two people so he had to gun it down. Now who subjugated it to man? The udder of the cow takes specific ingredients from the blood that runs through it like: Protein, fat, carbohydrates, minerals and semi-minerals, then it turns all that into milk.
Actually until our present day, no one knows how milk is made in the udder but it has been proved that in order to give one volume of milk it takes 400 volumes of blood that runs through the cow udder, given this milk is a complete nutrition for man.
The One who created man and his body systems is the One who created the cattle.
﴾ And We have subdued them unto them ﴿
﴾ And the cattle, He has created them for you﴿
When you say: “Bism Allah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem” upon eating bread, you should know that bread is made of wheat, which is also a complete nutrition for man.
The same should happen when you eat dairy products or meat.
Hence, the more you reflect on the food you eat, the more you will recognize the favor of Allah upon you.
Do you really pay for this food? No! Actually what you are paying for are the services of getting different kinds of food to your doorstep, but had all the people on earth come together to make one apple, they would have never been able to do so.
All man has to do is just plant the tree, water it and fertilize it and that is all.
An apple tree might give 60 boxes of apples that are delicious in color, smell, taste, shape and benefits, so Who designed all that?
Basmalah (Starting with Allah’s Name) has two meanings:
1- Remembering that this grace is bestowed by Allah upon you:
Hence, Basmalah before eating means that this food is created by Allah and it is His Favor, Generosity and Bestowal.
Again, the first meaning of Basmalah is to acknowledge the One Who created your food (i.e. Allah) in the sense that all the money on earth will not be enough to make one apple.
There are piles of fruits and vegetables in the market like citrus fruits, potatoes and vegetables of all kinds, so who created them?
Who designed the seed to grow a tree of fruit?
Without seeding, we will plant the thing once and that is it, thus Who designed the seeding process? Allah the Almighty did.
5 grams of tomato seeds are enough to give 5 tons of tomatoes domestically and the same number of seeds give 25 tons of tomatoes in other countries (how many folds are they?).
This is but Allah’s favor upon us.
Basmala therefore makes us acknowledge the Creator and realize that fruits, dairy products, meat, wheat, barley, chickpeas and lentil are but Allah’s favor so Bism Allah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem is said in the sense of saying: “All praises are to you O Lord”.
2- To eat considering prophetic instructions about eating:
The second meaning of Basmalah is to eat while following the prophetic instructions.
Therefore, any grace you use, you start with Basmalah which means that you are acknowledging the Bestower and you apply His method in using this grace.
'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "When any of you wants to eat, he should mention the Name of Allah in the begining, (i.e., say Bismillah). If he forgets to do it in the beginning, he should say Bismillah awwalahu wa akhirahu (I begin with the Name of Allah at the beginning and at the end)."
By offering Basmalah, you are acknowledging the Bestower and you are going beyond the grace to the grace Giver (i.e. Allah), secondly you are using this grace according to the instructions of the Giver.
Miqdam bin Ma'dikarib (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: "No man fills a container worse than his stomach. A few morsels that keep his back upright are sufficient for him…”
3- Praising Allah for His Graces when eating:
In addition to these instructions there are other prophetic instructions regarding eating and drinking.
So if you eat and become full and if you drink and are sated, supplicate as the prophet PBUH used to supplicate upon being sated and full:
((All praise to Allah Who fed us until we are full and who gave us water until we are sated))
Man might overlook the value of a glass of water until he lacks it.
Once a minister asked the Khalifah: "O Amir of the Believers, how much would you pay for this glass of water if it were kept away from you?" He answered: "Half of what I own." He then asked: "And if you were prevented from evacuating it?" He answered: "The other half of what I own."
You are in need of water and thus it is out of Islamic manners to preserve this grace by washing the hands and mouth before and after meals, by offering Basmalah before eating (in the sense of acknowledging the Bestower and using it according to His instructions) and by praising Allah after finishing your food by saying: Praise be to Allah Who fed us and gave us water, or to supplicate: “Praise be to Allah Who fed us until we are full, Who gave us water until we are sated and Who made us Muslims.”
Eating in the street is improper:
It is reported that eating in the street is improper for the Muslim.
Muroo’a (sense of honor) is a topic unto itself in Islam:
The prophet PBUH said:
((One who dealt with people and did not do injustice to them; and talked with them and did not tell lies to them; and made a covenant with them and did not break it, such a person is a perfect gentleman; and his probity is known (and accepted), his brotherhood is worth seeking and backbiting him is forbidden))
Man will lose his sense of honor if he treats people unfairly, if he lies to them and if he breaks his promises.
As for eating in the street it won’t take the sense of honor from man totally but it is improper (it is not a complete lapsing of the Adalah), so is wandering in the streets and looking at half-naked women, so is eating ill-gotten bite (like taking a piece of fruit to taste it but instead of buying he goes on his way), so is giving deficient measure in weight after taking a date from it, so is shouting inside the house, so is talking about women (like saying this is a beautiful woman and this is not), so is guiding a wild animal like a rabid dog or scary animal to frighten people, so is riding the horse fast, so is riding the car fast, so is urinating in the street, so is walking barefoot and so is befriending despicable people. This is a long topic and scholars mentioned 30 ways that cause lapsing of the Adalah of man.
4- One shouldn’t praise or dispraise food:
Among the eating manners is not to dispraise food, people or comment on food like saying: “It is salty” in order to show off your good taste in food, for this is not a good manner.
When someone invites, he is presenting to you the best food he has, thus criticizing the food is impolite.
The prophet PBUH used to eat the food if he loved it, and if he didn’t he would leave it, but he never dispraised a food.
In another prophetic trait, the prophet PBUH had never praised or dispraised food.
Some people describe to sh3er the tasty food they have eaten, well what benefit will this do to your listeners since you have eaten it alone? Had you shared it with them, it would have been reasonable to praise it.
For that reason, the prophet PBUH never praised or dispraised food.
Now if someone invites you and says to you: “I hope you liked the food” in this case you should praise the food out of courtesy and consolation with the owner of the house, but praising the food without any reason or dispraising it is not a prophetic manner.
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “Wretched is the slave of the Dinar and the slave of the Dirham, and the slave of velvet and the slave of the Khamisah.* If he is given, he is pleased and if he is not given, he does not fulfill (his oath of allegiance).”
The one who worships his belly praises and dispraises food, the one who worships his outfit, the one who worships his lusts and the one who worships Dirham and Dinar, all of those are slaves of their whims.
Teaching children table manners is the mission of parents:
Parents have a great mission in teaching their children eating manners. The child who doesn’t get any manner instructions at home will embarrass his parents if they are invited to someone’s house.
It is unacceptable, for example, that a child eats half the meat in the food and leaves nothing to sh3er while his father is heedless. This is a grave mistake, for the father should have taught his child that he should eat only the food near him, to eat food with bread, to eat moderately and to consider sh3er, in this case people will see the good manners of your child due to your education.
'Umar bin Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: I was a boy under the care of Messenger of Allah (PBUH), and as my hand used to wander around in the dish, he (PBUH) said to me once, "Mention Allah's Name (i.e., say Bismillah), eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you."
These are prophetic instructions.
"Mention Allah's Name (i.e., say Bismillah), eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you."
5- Man shouldn’t eat whilst reclining:
Also it is improper to eat while reclining because it reflects arrogance and some said that it is unhealthy.
Narrated Abu Juhaidah: That the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "As for me, I do not eat while reclining."
When the Prophet (PBUH) finished his speech, Zaid, the knight, stood up among the crowds of Muslims having the appearance of one of the most handsome men with perfect countenance and a tall stature and began speaking out with his loud voice, “O Muhammad, I bear witness that there is no god but Allah and that you are the Messenger of Allah.”The Prophet came towards him and said
“Who are you?”
He replied, “I am Zaid, the knight”. The Prophet (PBUH) said,
“Nay, but you are Zaid the good, not Zaid the knight. All Praise be to Allah, Who brought you from your homeland and made your heart soft for accepting Islam.”
Then the Prophet (PBUH) took him in honor to his house with some of his Companions among whom were Omar.
At home, the Prophet (PBUH) put a pillow for Zaid. It was difficult for him to lean on it at the presence of the Prophet (PBUH). He said, “O Messenger of Allah! I swear by Allah I cannot lean in your presence!”The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
“O Zaid! All men who were described to me proved to be inferior to the image I had of them, except for you, Zaid. O Zaid! you have two traits that are beloved by Allah and His Messenger.”
(He asked, “What are they, O Messenger of Allah?”The Prophet (PBUH) replied,
“ Patience and Clemency.”
“Praise to Allah that He has made me as Allah and His Messenger like! O Messenger of Allah! Just give me three hundred knights and I guarantee to you that I shall attack the Romans and defeat them.”
The Prophet (PBUH) appreciated his courage and said,
“What a (great) man you are!”
Then all of Zaid’s people who were with him embraced Islam as soon as he did. When he wanted to go back to his people’s land, the Prophet (PBUH) bade him farewell him and said, ) Note: all this is not in the original text. Do you think you should have it?
“What a (great) man this is!”
On his way back he passed away. And it was not a long time between his acceptance of Islam and his death; (but his sincerity for Islam and his great ambitions for the spread of this religion sufficed him from lots of work blemished by hypocrisy.) ( this is not in the text. I’m not sure you should add it )
6- Having a conversation while having the meal:
One of the good eating manners is to talk during the meal.(talk while eating gives the impression that it is ok for one to talk with his mouth full while he is eating.)
I hope that every brother will sit with his family for at least one meal every day and make it a quality time during which they may talk, chat, bring hearts together, ask the children about their school and ask them about what the teacher says to them.
This is also a great opportunity to ask your wife about the problems she faces, and if she visited her family ask her: how did the visit go?
This interesting gathering and chatting while eating is one of the table manners and I for one consider it as a civilized manner, for it is better than eating and getting up right away.
It is better to start the meal with Basmalah, a smile and a chit chat with the family members, for this is the main meal in the day since families usually have three meals, so during this main one, family members should talk to one another.
I have been to so many western countries, and in Germany their main meal takes about 3 hours though the meal is small, but it is more like a meeting than a meal during which they talk.
Talking while having a meal is healthy, useful, brings hearts together, spreads joy, brings smiles to faces and lifts the spirits. Note: talking while eating gives the impression that its polite to eat and while you are eating with your mouth full you talk, which is not polite.)
Some scientists said that talking while eating helps digesting food.
Narrated Jabir: That the Prophet (PBUH) said: "What an excellent condiment vinegar is."
One will deduce from this Hadith that the prophet PBUH was humble, but it is not only that, for scientists said that vinegar has lot of benefits that only Allah knows about.
Vinegar is a strong dissolvent, for it dissolves cholesterol which is very dangerous on health as it causes arteriosclerosis and narrowing in blood vessels, thus consuming apple vinegar daily is a cure for these diseases let alone being a prophetic instruction.
It has been reported on separate occasions that the prophet PBUH used to talk with his companions while he was eating with them, so it is a prophetic manner.
7- Asking the inviter permission before inviting someone else:
It is also among the prophetic manners when you are invited to ask the inviter permission if you are about to bring someone with you to the banquet, and it is up to him to accept or decline.
If someone invites 8 people and his dining room has only 8 chairs, so the ninth person has no place to sit, thus it is very important not to bring anyone with you to an invitation without asking the permission of the owner of the house, and if he apologized you should not be offended and if he accepted that will be good.
8- Supplicating for the inviter:
It is a prophetic eating manner to supplicate for the owner of the house if he invites you, and you should say:
“May Allah reward you for providing a fasting people with food to break their fast'); the pious people have eaten your food, the angels invoked blessings on you and Allah remembers you among those in heaven, O Allah feed them as they fed us, give them water as they gave us, honor them as they honored us, O Allah honor the members of this family and preserve their faith, health, children and relatives.”
A scholar once supplicated this prophetic supplication upon being invited to food, and a narrow-mind young man said to him: “O sir, the last paragraph of Dua is not reported to be said by the prophet PBUH” he means the part that says: “and Allah remembers you among those in heaven”, and since the scholar was clever he said: “May Allah bless you son, so let me rephrase: “May Allah reward you for providing a fasting people with food to break their fast'); the pious people have eaten your food, the angels invoked blessings on you and had it not been for this young man Allah might have remembered you among those in heaven”
Therefore, it is a prophetic manner to say Dua for the person who invites you.
The prophet PBUH used to say: the reward of an invitation will be distributed among three: the owner of the house (the inviter), his wife and his children.
The owner of the house is the one who paid for the food, the children served it and prepared the table and his wife cooked the food. Thus the prophet PBUH didn’t forget anyone.
9- Gathering together while having a meal:
Among the eating manners is that none of the children should eat before the father or the teacher, and when he starts they start.
In picnics or potluck everyone brings one dish to share and the table becomes full of food, so the ones who are not asked to bring anything might start eating before everyone sits down to the table, this shouldn’t happen, for unless everyone is gathered around the table no one should start eating, of course in addition to starting with Basmalah which is one of the table manners.
10- Washing the hands very well before meals:
Dear brother, eating is a three times daily activity, and the manners of eating are one of the most detailed topics in Islam and we must learn a lot about it.
When the prophet PBUH was asked where did he acquire his exalted manners from he answered:
“I was given the best of manners and Adab (manners) from Allah”
Of course, all the prophet’s manners are but prosperity from Allah he Almighty.
Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) finished eating his food, he would lick his three fingers (i.e., the forefinger, the middle finger and the thumb).
When does man put his finger in his mouth? He does so when it is clean. You use clear odorless water to offer Wudo, so if it is colored or smelly, would you be able to put it in your mouth or nose while offering Wudu?
Hence Wudu itself is a proof that the water is drinkable, and much in the same way, when the prophet PBUH put his fingers in his mouth after eating, this means that he is sure that his hands were clean and washed before the meal.
11- Man should conserve food rather than throwing it:
Dear brother,
Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: When the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) finished eating his food, he would lick his three fingers (i.e., the forefinger, the middle finger and the thumb). He (PBUH) said, "If anyone of you drops a morsel, he should remove anything harmful from it and then eat it. He should not leave it for Shaitan." He commanded us to clean out the dish saying, "You do not know in what portion of your food the blessing lies."
This is a prophetic manner also.
By Allah I know some brother who would put the leftovers in boxes and send them to orphanages where the orphans eat the extra food for days.
Hence, it is not wrong to be generous in your banquets, but don’t throw away the food, not even one bite.
Now we have organizations which take care of leftovers from banquets and all you have to do is just let them know, and they fix the food with extra meat, put them in boxes and send them to the poor.
The prophet PBUH said to Aishah:
“Be a good neighbor for God's blessings, and try not to let blessings leave you and go to someone else. Beware that once blessings are gone they are hard to return.”
Throwing food in garbage is recklessness and negligence of food as a grace from Allah.
Even if you detest eating the leftover, you can put it for birds and I know someone who does so and birds eat it insatiately.
My point is that not a crumb should be wasted.
Some people love to feed birds, and the food is a grace bestowed upon us by Allah, so we should be careful and thankful.
Miqdam bin Ma'dikarib (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: "No man fills a container worse than his stomach. A few morsels that keep his back upright are sufficient for him. If he has to, then he should keep one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for his breathing."
"No man fills a container worse than his stomach.”
And the fullness of food takes away prudence.
Every person should learn, teach sh3er and instruct them:
Dear brother, I was hoping to go further in this lecture, but in the coming lecture I will move to the drinking manners which is also a daily activity.
These lectures are for all of us so that we may learn and teach our children.
You can tell when a child is well-raised from the way he sits at the food table with a straight back, eating only the food near him, mentioning the Name of Allah before eating and praising Him after finishing.
The believer is a unique person and he is polite. Manners actually are like the cladding for a building, for it adorns it like the manners adorns religious people.
