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04-05-2024
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Lesson 26: Parenthood
   
 
 
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful  
 
O Allah, Lead us out from the depths of darkness and illusion unto the lights of erudition and knowledge, and from the muddy shallows of lusts unto the heavens of Your Vicinity.

Parenthood:

Dear brothers,
The Ayat that are recited in Salah are:

﴾ I swear by this city (Makkah); And you are free (from sin, and to punish the enemies of Islam on the Day of the conquest) in this city (Makkah). And by the begetter (i.e. Adam) and that which he begot (i.e. his progeny). Verily, We have created man in toil.  ﴿

[ Al-Balad, 1-4 ]


We will ponder over the following Ayah:

﴾ And by the begetter (i.e. Adam) and that which he begot (i.e. his progeny). ﴿


Specifically, I will tackle the term "Parenthood". The parenthood and sonhood are signs which denote The Greatness of Allah Almighty and through which Allah decreed to teach us that there is a Superpower (i.e. Allah) that is in no need of us and is All-Capable yet is pleased to make man happy.

Repentance:

(( Allah's pleasure with a penitent person weighs over that of a thirsty man who arrives at water or a barren woman who begets a child or a loser who finds his lost one.  ))


The Hadith mentions three specific situations:
A thirsty person who is on verge of dying out of thirst, then suddenly he finds a fountain of water and drinks his fill.
A barren man who lost hope in having children, then his wife got pregnant.
A man who lost a valuable thing and then he found it.

(( Allah's pleasure with a penitent person weighs over that of a thirsty man who arrives at water or a barren woman who begets a child or a loser who finds his lost one.  ))


Hence, when you reconcile with Allah, Allah will be pleased though He is in no need of you.
 

(( When a servant turns back to Allah, a caller calls those in the heavens and earth to congratulate him as he has reconciled with Allah. ))


The reality of man:

Man's existence in this worldly life is temporary.
The most complete inclusive decisive accurate definition of man is: "Man is but few days, and by the passage of everyday, part of him passes by".
This means that you are time, and because of this fact, time is the most precious thing you own, moreover, it is your only capital. 
This time is spent in two ways: either you waste it, or you invest in it, given that there is big difference between the two ways.
Wasting time happens all the time: like when people on earth wake up, eat, go to work, get back home at noon, eat again, take a nap, wake up, stay up at night and then go to sleep once more and then suddenly, one of them is taken aback by a pain in the heart that causes his death.
Death is man's exit out of life just like the terminals in an airport through which people . depart.
Some people die naturally, others die due to a heart attack or a cancerous tumor, while some die because of an accident, and all of which are but exits out of life.
Success lies in living this hour (the hour of death) and preparing for the time when you move from a house (with a guest room, a dining room and a living room), a wife, daughters, sons in law, car, meetings, parties, traveling and touring to a grave under the ground.
A female relative of mine died in Amman, so out of my duty to my kinship I had to be at the funeral. The grave was deep and close to one meter and 70 centimeters. She was put at the bottom of it, where there were two short barriers, over which were  five tiles and huge mass of soil was shoveled into the grave.
I know her house, it is a luxury one and her income used to be hefty and she was surrounded by her daughters and sons in law, but here (in the grave) is the end.
Who is the prudent one? He is the one who lives the end (by preparing for it).
Can any one of you claim that he won't die? Can any one of you, including me, wake up every day as the day before forever? This is impossible. Death (the exit of life) is waiting down the road. One day there will be a health problem that leads to this terminal.
Who is the prudent, the wise, the prosperous and the happy one? He is the one who puts death in his considerations.
I am sure that my words are right. Who is the fool, the heedless and the ignorant? He is the powerful person who forgets about Allah, but no matter how powerful man is, one day he will die.
Franco ruled Spain 45 years which is considerably a long period of time, and then he died.

Every soul shall die 

and only The Owner of Might and Superb Potentate shall remain 

No matter how long night might be, 

 Dawn surely will break 

No matter how long one might live, 

 Being buried in a grave is inevitable


Every mother's child, 

no matter how healthy he/she lived 

One day will be carried in a coffin 

And if you carry someone to his grave, 

know that soon you shall be carried too.



((  …And know that the Angel of Death has passed over us to reach others, and will pass over others to reach us,  so let us be cautious. ))


Obituaries in Damascus are displayed on walls.
I asked once an employee in the funeral home about the number of people who die on a daily basis and he said: "They are close to 100 deaths daily in Damascus; the obituaries of 50% of them are displayed on walls"
Thus, when you walk in Damascus you read that the supporter of this family died, and the deceased used be a commanding general, a physician or an architect who was once full of life and who used to have a social status, powerful position, high financial level or used to be famous, then suddenly he has become a dead body.
Who is the prudent? He is the one who prepares for this hour.
Our professor in psychology in Damascus University happened to be one of the best 5 professors in the world.
The book he used to teach us is entitled "Educational Psychology" one of the most important books in teaching Diploma.
Once we reached a very delicate subject about intelligence and it was close to 80 pages. This professor said: "Do you want me to summarize to you the 80 pages in one word?"
"Yes please" we said. He continued: "Intelligence is all about adapting".
Adapting regarding death and the grave is the summit of prudence.
You have six daughters and four boys, you have guests, you hold parties and banquettes, you stay up all night and you travel, but then the grave is waiting.
Look at the graves in the cemetery. People move from houses as big as 450 square meters to a grave as small as 2 square meters.
As I see it, the summit of prudence is to prepare for this inevitable hour.
Between me and you, when someone reaches 40, do you think he has as many years as 40 years to live? Most likely he hasn't. Allah knows how many years are left for him to live; they might be 20, 25, 30 or even 40 if he has a long life, thus he'd better prepare for death.
Man is but few days, by the passage of each day, part of him is passed as well.
Believe me, the summit of prudence, reason, prosperity and success is to prepare for this hour.
When someone is born, all the people around him are laughing and he is the only one who is crying, so where is  your success? Success lies at the end of the life of this newborn, as success for him is to laugh when all of people around him are crying.
Allah says:

﴾  It was said (to him when the disbelievers killed him): "Enter Paradise." He said: "Would that my people knew "That my Lord (Allah) has forgiven me. ﴿


[ Ya-Sin, 26-27 ]


If man takes this serious incident (i.e. death) into consideration, he will prosper.
Unfortunately, most people live the past and present and forget about the future.
Only one person out of one thousand lives his future.
I am 65 years old now, how long will I live? Will I reach 80 or 85? The years that are left are not as many as the years that passed.
The years that passed, passed in a blink of an eye, and what is left will also pass in a blink of an eye.
Thus I say: Prudence, reason, prosperity and success are manifested in taking into consideration the hour of death at which one of us will leave this worldly life.
Only the fool denies death.
As for the rest of us, we don't differ in believing in death or not, but we differ in the way we prepare for it, and this preparation is certainly within one's scope.

﴾ Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. ﴿

[ Al-Baqarah, 286 ]


How do we prepare for death? We do so by staying steadfast on Allah's path.
You are molded or programmed (so to speak) to obey Allah. Hence you feel comfortable upon obeying Allah due to that programming, because when you obey Allah you are in harmony with your nature.
When someone repents to Allah, he gains happiness simply because he becomes in harmony with his nature that is programmed to obey Allah.
Everything Allah orders you to do is instilled in your nature, or you are programmed to follow it, and though the word "programmed" is a contemporary term, it serves perfectly this accurate meaning.
Allah says:

﴾ By Nafs (Adam or a person or a soul), and Him Who perfected him in proportion; ﴿

[ Ash-Shams, 7 ]


Allah instilled in your nature to fear death and to gain happiness upon repenting.
By Allah, when the believer reconciles with Allah, he will experience (at times) happiness that makes him the happiest person on earth.
I paid one of our brothers a visit after he returned from Hajj, he said to me: "By Allah The Only Deity, there is no one on earth happier than I am, unless he is more pious than me."
This is how a believer should feel.
You are dealing with The Creator, The Lord, The Omnipotent, The Affluent, The Merciful and The Sublime.
I dare any disbeliever to feel one out of one thousand of the happiness the believer feels.
The believer moves around feeling that Allah is with him.
Allah loves you, and obeying Him is not difficult.
Allah doesn't deprive you from fulfilling your desires, only Allah makes lawful ways to fulfill your desires like marriage.
A friend from school spent his youth having unlawful affairs with women, then he repented to Allah and got married, he said to me: "By Allah, one hour with the wife is more beautiful and joyful than a million hours of affairs; because she is lawful.
When a couple get married, people honk their car horns on their wedding day without feeling any shame because it is a lawful relationship.
When a man visits his fiancé at her family's house, they celebrate his visit by inviting him to dinner and honoring him because his relation with their daughter is lawful and souls are comfortable with lawful matters. 
Every desire instilled in man but has a lawful way to be fulfilled in. You are allowed to get married, to have children, to have a social status and to travel according to Allah's method, namely, there is no deprivation in Islam, and the decisive proof is in the following Ayah:  

﴾ And who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah?  ﴿


[ Al-Qasas, 50 ]


In fiqh there is what is called “Mafhoom Al Mukhalafah” (an implicit meaning on which the text maybe silent but is nevertheless in harmony with its pronounced meaning)

﴾ And who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah? ﴿


According to Mafhoom Al Mukhalafah, the previous Ayah indicates that the one who follows his lusts according to Allah's method (lawfully) is on the safe side.
If you long for money given this lust is installed in us, you may work and earn lawful money to buy even expensive things. Thus there is no deprivation in Islam.
If you long for a woman, you may marry her.
Every desire installed in man but has a lawful way to be fulfilled in.
I invoke Allah Almighty to give us the power to obey Him.

﴾ And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed achieved a great achievement (i.e. he will be saved from the Hell-fire and will be admitted to Paradise). ﴿

[ Al-Ahzab, 71 ]


I used to give this example. If a seven years old kid said to his uncle, who is visiting him, I have a great amount of money, what is the amount of money the uncle will predict? His guess will be not more than 100 Dinars. However, if an official figure in the pentagon said, "We allocated a colossal amount of money for Iraq war", so what is your guess of that amount? I think your guess will be 300 billion Dollars. How about being said by the King of all kings (i.e. Allah):  

﴾ And taught you that which you knew not. And Ever Great is the Grace of Allah unto you (O Muhammad) ﴿

[ An-Nisa', 113 ]


Is it easy to get to know Allah? There is a big difference between the one who knows Allah and the one who doesn't.
Allah says:

﴾ See how We prefer one above another (in this world) ﴿

[ Al-Isra', 21 ]


People differ from one another in the worldly life. A man who sells vegetables and fruits on his pushcart is not at the same level of a company owner or manager (Note to Noora although Dr Nabulsi didn’t mention the post of the second man but he obviously is comparing a man with a job selling vegetables to someone working at a high position in Mitsubishi)” like Mitsubishi which manufactures everything from a needle to supertankers, they are not the same. Worldly life has levels and there are huge differences between these levels.

﴾ See how We prefer one above another (in this world). ﴿


An elementary teacher, who teaches 55 students, putting so much effort during the long six teaching hours every day and has a little income, is not like an expert whose paycheck is 100 thousand Dinars and all he has to do is just check the machine and sign and that is his only job. This expert acquired high scientific degrees and he is an expert in what he does, so he works very little and is paid hefty money.
 Success of man is to choose a job that brings happiness to him in the worldly life and in the hereafter.
Indeed, if you seek the worldly life, you have to obtain knowledge, and if you seek the hereafter, you have to obtain knowledge, and if you seek both, you have to obtain knowledge as well.
Knowledge doesn't give you part of it unless you are entirely devoted in seeking it, so if you are partially devoted, it will give you nothing.
Man is knowledgeable as long as he seeks knowledge, but at the moment he believes that he finished seeking knowledge, he is in ignorance.

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful, All Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad, upon his Family and Companions, the trustees on his mission and leaders of his brigades, and be pleased with us and them Lord of the worlds.
O, Allah, give us and don’t withdraw from us, dignify us and don’t humiliate us, choose us and don’t turn away from us, please us and be pleased with us.
Blessings and peace be upon our master Prophet Muhammad, his family and his companions.

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