Child Education 2088- Lesson (31- 36): Social Education 12- Respecting the elders
- Islamic Education / Children education in Islam
- /
- Chidren education 2008
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of Creations, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, the faithful and the honest. O Allah our Lord, lead us out from the depths of darkness and illusion, unto the lights of erudition and knowledge, and from the muddy shallows of lusts unto the heavens of Your Vicinity.
Modesty makes our children respect the elders:
Dear brothers, we are still tackling the social education of children, and our topic is about respecting the elders. In this blessed meeting, we will talk about the reason that makes our children respect the old people. In fact, the key reason, which will help us instill in our children the respect for old people, is to promote modesty inside them.
(( Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Haya (modesty, bashfulness etc.) is a part of Faith." ))
Without modesty children will not respect the elders. Actually the best trait a young man or a child might acquire is modesty.
(( ((Haya (modesty, bashfulness etc.) is a part of Faith.)) ))
(( ((Abu Hurairah reported the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) as saying: Faith has over seventy branches, the most excellent of which is the declaration that there is no god but Allah, and the humblest of which is the removal of a bone from the road. And modesty is a branch of faith.)) ))
Modesty is a virtue whereas timidity is a flaw:
Modesty is a virtue, whereas timidity is a flaw, because the latter makes man abstain from asking for his rights, afraid of speaking out his opinion and unable to say "no", whereas the believer is marked with the strong will of saying "No" wherever it is needed to be said. If something might bring Allah's Wrath, might displease Allah or might violate an Islamic ruling, the believer will say out loud, "No, I will never do it." On the other hand, the person who accepts whatever is said or done in order to please all people is a hypocrite. Hence, the man of principles must say "No, I will not do it" at a certain point, so accustom yourself to reject whatever contradicts your principles, values and morals. Also, accustom your son to say "No, I will never do it" when he is tempted to commit a sin.
As I have said earlier, modesty is a virtue, whereas timidity is a flaw. The Prophet PBUH said:
(( The Prophet PBUH said: "O A'ishah, if modesty were a man, he would be a pious one." ))
(( If obscenity were a man, he would be a despicable one. ))
I sometimes meet with children who are well-raised, and they do not say one bad word, gesture or comment. On the other hand, there are children who are used to hear filthy jokes at home, so they transmit them, and these children are raised to twist words, so they are unbearable.
Who raises his children properly will make people respect them:
By the way, the more exalted your upbringing to your children is, the more loveable, they will be to people, while if you neglect raising them properly, people will not respect them. It is out of modesty to avoid mentioning any of the private parts, and I consider mentioning them a sort of impoliteness, foulness and obscenity. Learn politeness from the Quran:
﴾ And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)* Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame; ﴿
All sorts of sexual deviations are included in the following Ayah:
﴾ But whoever seeks beyond that ﴿
Allah refers to the sexual relation between man and woman by saying: "if you have been in contact with women":
﴾ Or you have been in contact with women (by sexual relations) and you find no water, perform Tayammum with clean earth and rub therewith your faces and hands (Tayammum) ﴿
There is a similar indication in the following Ayah, but this one is implicit:
﴾ When he "Taghashaha" (had sexual relation with her), she became pregnant and she carried it about lightly. ﴿
The good manners of the Prophet PBUH were amazing. Once he saw a woman with clothes that show her body, so he said:
(( O my daughter, these clothes show the size of your bones. ))
Pay attention to the politeness of the Prophet PBUH; he would never say words that might seem embarrassing or might incite sexual desires.
One of the Prophet's venerable companions was called 'Uthman bin Math'oun, may Allah be pleased with him, who was so much devoted to religious observances that he did not care for any of the worldly pleasures or enjoyments, not even his sexual relation with his wife.
One day, 'Uthman bin Math'oun's wife came to the Prophet's wife, A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, in a shabby miserable apparel. When A'ishah asked 'Uthman's wife what the matter was with her, the latter answered sadly, "My husband is always fasting during the day and standing in prayer in the night." A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, informed the Messenger of Allah, (PBUH), of the woman's problem with her husband.
The Messenger of Allah, (PBUH), summoned 'Uthman bin Math'oun and addressed him, "O 'Uthman! Do you not take me for a good model?" 'Uthman said, "I sacrifice my father and mother for you, O Messenger of Allah! What's the matter?" The Messenger of Allah, (PBUH), said, "You fast the day and stand up the night?!" 'Uthman said, "Yes, indeed. I do that." The Messenger of Allah, (PBUH), said, "Do not do! Verily, your body has a right on you; and surely, your wife has a right on you." 'Uthman took the Prophet's advice and did well to his wife. The next day, 'Uthman's wife went as happy and beautiful as a bride to the Prophet's house; and the women gathered round her, asking in great astonishment, "What is the matter, O wife of bin Math'oun?!" With utmost joy she replied, "We have had what other people have!"
Adhering to the Islamic dressing code and controlling the tongue are the fruits of the good upbringing of children:
When I read the way female companions used to talk, or the way the male companions used to pick their words, I feel how elevated their good manners were. . You should teach your child the same good manners. Thus, he should never see you changing your cloth. If the father changes his cloths in his bedroom while the door is closed, his children will be taught to do the same, and this will spread discipline in the household, and every member of the family will be dressed modestly. On the other hand, some households have no discipline. Having discipline in the house, in the way the members of the family talk and in the way they dress is a fruitful outcome of the good upbringing, and in such households, children will acknowledge the elders and will respect them due to the modesty they acquire.
(( It was narrated from Anas that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Every religion has its distinct characteristic, and the distinct characteristic of Islam is modesty." ))
Modesty marks the believer. Actually, Allah is Modest, and He will never let you down upon asking Him for something.
(( Salman (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Your Rabb (Lord of the Universe) is Modest and Generous, and would never turn the hands of a slave without gain when he raises them to Him (in supplication)." ))
﴾ O Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc.) and as an adornment, and the raiment of righteousness, that is better. Such are among the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allah, that they may remember (i.e. leave falsehood and follow truth). ﴿
This means that the Shaytan tempts man to strip him of his clothes, whereas angels order man to cover his body. Therefore, following the Islamic dressing code marks the exalted faith of man, whereas transgression, deviation, corruption and nudity mark the absence of faith, and this era unfortunately is the era of nudity, where the clothes show all body lines.
The child must be taught to respect the elder:
When you teach your son to be modest, you are teaching him to respect the elders. It was reported that our Master Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, while he was a young man was sitting next to the Prophet PBUH when our Master Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, came in, so Ali stood up and gave his seat to Abu Bakr. The Prophet PBUH commented on such a noble stance by saying:
((Grace for meritorious people could only be acknowledged by meritorious people.))
Some children are not taught by their parents to give their seat in the bus to an old man who might be holding lots of stuff in his hand.
(( Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "If a young man honours an older person on account of his age, Allah appoints someone to show reverence to him in his old age" ))
(( Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated that Abu Sa'id Samurah bin Jundub (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I was a boy during the lifetime of Messenger of Allah (PBUH), and used to commit to my memory what he said, but I do not narrate what I preserved because there were among us people who were older than me. ))
Respecting the child is an effective method for the successful upbringing:
It is unacceptable to let a little child talk without being asked to in an assembly where there are old people, but if the father asks his son to speak, the child should be given the chance to say his opinion, and he should be listened to so that he will develop a strong personality. The Prophet PBUH said:
(( Whoever has children, let him play with them and act like a child. ))
Respecting the child is an effective method for the successful upbringing. Thus, the father should train his child to speak after he asks for permission, and he should accustom him to mention facts he is sure of, not to mention matters he knows nothing about.
(( A'ishah, the Umm al-Mu'minin, said, "I did not see anyone who more resembled the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, in manner of speaking than Fatima. When she came to him, he stood up for her, made her welcome, kissed her and had her sit in his place." ))
Will a father stand up for his daughter? The daughter is very precious. Actually Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, was the closest person to the Prophet PBUH, and she looked like him in his appearance, humility and love to Allah more than any other member of his family.
(( …When she came to him, he stood up for her, made her welcome, kissed her and had her sit in his place. When the Prophet PBUH came to her, she stood up for him, took his hand, made him welcome, kissed him, and made him sit in her place. She came to him during his final illness and he greeted her and kissed her." ))
(( My Lord perfected my good manners and conduct. ))
Modesty and showing respect distinguish the believer from the sinner:
Believe me dear brothers, you can tell that someone is a true believer even if he does not say a word, because his faith is obvious in the way he sits and the way he looks. The believer never gets his nose in others' business, and if he is visiting a friend of his at his office, he never peaks at his papers or opens a book without his permission. These are secrets of his friend, so he should stay away from his desk and sit on another chair far from it. Some visitors sit at the desk of the one they visit, read his papers or even open a drawer without his leave. This is immoral, and it is forbidden by the Prophet PBUH.
What is the thing that distinguishes the believer? Well both the believer and the disbeliever have eyes, ears, nose, mouth, tongue (to speak with), hands and legs, so how can you distinguish between them? You can do that through the believer's modesty, politeness, words, moves and stills, for they are all framed with morality. In fact the moral father raises his son to be moral as well, but how do we teach the child to respect old people? The companions of the Prophet PBUH showed great respect to him, and when they were at his assembly they sat motionless with awe, and this is how the knowledge seeker should be; he should acquire exalted morals.
Stories about the Prophet's exalted manners:
Here are some scenes which show the exalted character of the Prophet PBUH:
(( Narrated Umar Ibn As-Sa'ib: One day when the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was sitting, his foster-father came forward. He spread out of a part of his garment and he sit on it. Then his mother came forward to him and he spread out the other side of his garment and she sat on it. Again, his foster-brother came forward. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) stood for him and seated him before himself. ))
How polite he PBUH was! They are his foster-parents and his fosterbrother.
(( Abu Sa'id al-Khudri said: When Banu Quraizah capitulated agreeing to accept Sa'd's judgment, the Prophet (PBUH) sent a messenger to him. When he came riding on a white ass, the Prophet (PBUH) said: stand up to (show respect to) your chief, or he said: "to the best of you". He came and sat beside the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). ))
You should welcome the respected person nicely and address him politely which show your exalted courteous behavior. Father might not notice that when he is polite, his son will become polite, so the Islamic household must be full of morals, modesty and respect to the grownups and old relatives.
The nice nicknames the Prophet PBUH gave to his companions:
Let me mention a nice fact about the Prophet PBUH. Although he was as bright as the sun, he used to acknowledge his companions. For instance, he said about Umar, may Allah be pleased with him:
(( If there were a Prophet after me, he would be Umar. ))
The Prophet PBUH said about Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him:
(( He never saddened me))
((If I were to take a Khalil (a close friend), I would certainly have taken Abu- Bakr but the Islamic brotherhood is superior. ))
He PBUH said about Ali, may Allah be pleased with him:
((I am the city of knowledge and Ali is its gate))
He PBUH described Abu U'baidah, may Allah be pleased with him, as follows:
(( Narrated Anas: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Every nation has an Amin (i.e. the most honest man), and the Amin of this nation is Abu 'Ubaida bin Al-Jarrah." ))
He PBUH described Khalid bin Al-Walid, may Allah be pleased with him, as follows:
(( Narrated Anas: The Prophet (PBUH) had informed the people about the death of Zaid, Ja'far and Ibn Rawaha before the news of their death reached them. He said with his eyes flowing with tears, "Zaid took the flag and was martyred; then Ja`far took the flag and was martyred, and then Ibn Rawaha took the flag and was martyred. Finally the flag was taken by one of Allah's Swords (i.e. Khalid bin Al-Walid) and Allah gave them (i.e. the Muslims) victory." ))
Just as the companions respected the Prophet PBUH, glorified him and showed him their good manners, he acknowledged their value.
It is one of the child's good manners to know the value of his father:
Actually, when you raise your son on good manners, you are teaching him to acknowledge your value.
(( The Prophet PBUH saw two men. He addressed the younger of them, "Who is this man to you?" The younger one said, "This is my father." The Prophet PBUH said to him, "If this is your father, do not call him by his bare name. Do not walk in front of him, and never sit before him." [Meaning that he {the father} should sit first {before the son} and the latter should walk before the former as a sign of respect.] ))
The politeness of the Prophet PBUH was obvious with his companions.
(( Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: "Sa'd came, so the Prophet (PBUH) said: "This is my maternal uncle, so let a man show me his maternal uncle." ))
The Prophet PBUH never sacrificed anyone of his companions by his father and mother except for Sa'd, may Allah be pleased with him.
(( Narrated Ali: I never saw the Prophet (PBUH) saying, "Let my parents sacrifice their lives for you," to any man after Sa'd. I heard him saying (to him), "Throw (the arrows)! Let my parents sacrifice their lives for you." ))
These nice nicknames given by the Prophet PBUH to his companions prove that though he was like a sun, he never veiled the stars around him (i.e. the companions) unlike the sun which veiled all other stars. I have read once a nice statement that says, "It is painful for the stars to pay all these efforts to shine in the presence of the sun." While the Prophet PBUH, who is like a sun, allowed these stars (i.e. his companions) to shine around him and in his presence and this is but exalted manners of his.
Brief summary of the biography of our Master Ka'b bin Malik:
I would like to give you a brief summary of our Master Ka'b bin Malik's story. When the Prophet PBUH returned (from the battle of Tabuk), Ka'b realized the tremendous burden he was shouldering and wondered what excuse he should offer. This companion was an excellent debater, as he described himself, and according to the contemporary expression he has what it power of persuasion, which is a gift that some people have and which makes them capable of convincing you of any ideas, no matter how wrong they happen to be.
When the Prophet PBUH was about to arrive in Medinah, those who had failed to join the expedition (the battle of Tabuk), over 80 men, came and started offering (false) excuses and taking oaths before him. The Prophet PBUH accepted the excuses they had offered, took their pledge of allegiance, asked for Allah's Forgiveness for them, and left the secrets of their hearts for Allah to judge. This companion felt torn between lying to the Prophet PBUH as he was capable of forging a false excuse, and telling the truth. However, his conceptions were correct, so he said, "I speak fluently and eloquently, and if I avoid his anger by lying, Allah will be angry with me, so I decided firmly to speak the truth."
The child learns from his father's actions not from his words:
Dear brothers, let me emphasize the fact that if parents stick to good manners, their children will acquire these good manners hands down. Pay attention to the following incident:
(( Related by Ibn Asakir by Abi Ammar that Abdullah Ibn Abbas, with his honorable link to the Messenger PBUH, took hold of Zaid ibn Thabit's riding animal and said: "We were commanded to treat our scholars like this" So Zaid kissed the hand of Ibn Abbas and said, "We were commanded to treat the household of our Prophet PBUH like this." Ibn Abbas took hold of Zaid's riding camel, whereas the latter kissed Ibn Abbas's hand. ))
When you see the beacons show respect to one another, you learn good manners from their actions before you learn them from their words. This is a piece of advice I give to every father: be righteous, be polite and show good manners, and you will see how your entire household will be full of morals and respect.
It is out of showing respect to the elders to look after your parents until their death:
Dear brothers, who are the elders by definition? They are the ones who are old in age, and concerning this group of people, there are exalted traditions in the Islamic world which are hard to find anywhere else, for no matter how old the father is, he stays with his children, whereas in the west, he is taken to the nursing home when he is very weak to move on his own.
Nothing brings happiness to the grandfather or grandmother than being among their sons, daughters and grandchildren, and even if the nursing home is a 5 star one in its services, the grandparent will be offended. It is out of respecting the elders to keep your parents under your care for the last minute of their lives. When a person is privileged with the honor of being dutiful to his father and mother until the end of their lives, this is but Divine Prosperity that brings happiness to him in the worldly life.
Dear brothers, as I have mentioned earlier, the elders refer to those who are old in age, to those who occupy important positions or to the knowledgeable. Accordingly, it might refer to a young district manager who is nice, who strives for the common good and who serves people, so he deserves to be respected, and he deserves to have people made him a path when he enters the Masjid.
Good manners are admirable, and the Islamic society is distinguished by morality, discipline, respect (by the youth towards the elders) and sympathy (from the elders towards the young members). This explains why it is a coherent society. A brother who lives in the United States once visited me, and he said, "How do you manage your life? Though you have so many troubles in your life; you love each other and respect one another."
I have been to so many countries abroad, and some of them are Islamic countries. I have noticed how much people of some countries respect the scholars there, and the respect they show is beyond any description.
As for our country, the care of our fathers and grandfathers to their children and grandchildren are amazing. If the father owns a big house in an expensive neighborhood in the capital, he is ready to sell it in order to buy four houses in the suburb for his children (so that they may settle down and get married). This is but a heroic act.
Once, a brother told me that while he was in France, he ran into a young man standing on the bank of the Seine River with a gloomy face. When he started talking to him to know why he looked sad, the young man replied, "I wish I could kill my father, because he married my girlfriend." In contrast, the Middle Eastern father's main concern would be to support his children financially and to help them get married and start their own families. In every wedding ceremony I attended, I feel the ecstasy of the father upon having one of his sons or daughters got married. Fatherhood is a very exalted concept.
I was once in the United States and a doctor who lives there told me how his family made an Afro-American embrace Islam. He said to me his son once invited an Afro-American friend from school to the house, and like any other Islamic family, the son kissed the hands of his parents, so his friend noticed the sophisticated manners in that household. Then, the mother prepared food for his friend who observed great respect from his friend towards his parents, and great care from the mother who welcomed him warmly and served him food. After a while that coherence in that Islamic family was the reason why that Afro-American friend embraced Islam. By Allah the exalted manners we have as Muslims are a great grace.
The success of the father is achieved by gaining his children's love besides their respect:
The father in the Islamic culture is highly respected, and let me address fathers and mothers: every father and every mother is highly respected in our societies due to our culture, religion and ambience, but the success of every father and mother is not in being respected only but in being loved as well, and the successful parent is the one whose children wish that he/she lives longer.
I hear lots of stories about stingy and harsh fathers who deprive their children of everything, and when one of them gets sick and the doctor says to his children upon examining him that he is fine, they get upset, because deep inside they wish that he is suffering from a fatal disease. On the other hand, the generous father with his children makes his children wish that he lives longer. Hence, your success as a father is to have children who wish that you live longer not to have children who wish your death. The generous father is respected and loved by his children who wish that he lives longer, whereas the stingy harsh father is respected, but not loved, and his children wish his soon death.
It is an Islamic manner to respect the old, the knowledgeable and the ones in charge:
If you respect the old , the knowledgeable or the important, this will reflect your exalted Islamic manners. When the Prophet PBUH sent his letter to the Emperor of Romans, how did he address him? He said, "From Muhammad, son of Abdullah to Heraclius the Great Leader of the Romans", and though Heraclius was not great in the sight of the Messenger of Allah PBUH, the Prophet PBUH addressed him that way out of courtesy, decency and diplomacy.
The Prophet PBUH used to salute the little children and ask after them. When he used to mount on a horse, he would seat them on the pillion and take them to their destinations. When a little child was treated with all this kindness by the Prophet PBUH, he would love him a lot. I hope that every father of you gains the love of his children, because then they will be polite with you.
(( My Lord perfected my good manners and conduct. ))
I told you in previous ectures that Islam consists of four major categories: Aqeedah, acts of worship, transactions and morals, and so morals make one fourth of religion.
The exalted manners of the Prophet PBUH:
If we want to mention some of the incidents in the Prophetic Sirah (biography) about the way the Prophet PBUH used to kindly instruct his companions, we will find how amazingly he used to do that. Whenever he noticed a flaw in their behavior, he would tell them about the right thing to do. Similarly, as a father you should instruct your child and tell him about the right thing to do. For example, it is not acceptable to let your son sit down spreading his legs. Instead, you should instruct him to bring his legs closer to one another and to sit politely and loftily. Hence, every time you notice something wrong with the way your son sits, stands or walks, you should instruct him and tell him that this is not suitable, and then you teach him the right way. Keep in mind that morals are essential in children's upbringing.
Let me mention to you a story to highlight how polite the Prophet used to be even with those who were his enemy.
Safwaan bin Umaiyah and 'Umair bin Wahab sat together ruminating on their enemies. Safwaan, mentioning those who were killed at Badr saying, "By Allah, there is not any good in life after them." 'Umair said, "That is true. By Allah, were it not for debts that I'm unable to repay and my children who I fear might be vagabonds after me, I would ride to Muhammad and kill him. I have a plausible reason to give him. I will say that I have come for the sake of my son, a prisoner of war."
Safwaan seized the chance and said, "I will repay your debts and maintain your children with mine and comfort them as long as they live." 'Umair agreed and said, "Keep it secret." Then, he ordered his sword to be sharpened and poisoned and set out.
When he arrived at Al-Madinah, 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, was sitting among some of the Muslims talking about the Day of Badr. 'Umar looked and saw 'Umair Ibn Wahb, girded with his sword, making his camel kneel at the door of the Masjid. 'Umar said, "That is the enemy of Allah, 'Umair Ibn Wahb! By Allah, he has come for nothing but evil. It is he who provoked us on the Day of Badr."
'Umar entered and said to the Messenger (PBUH), "O Prophet of Allah, here is the enemy of Allah, 'Umair Ibn Wahb come girded with his sword." The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Let him in." 'Umar came and took him by the scabbard of his sword round his neck and said to some of the men, "Enter and sit with the Prophet (PBUH) and be cautious of that fellow, he is dishonest." Then 'Umar entered holding the scabbard of his sword round his neck and when the Prophet saw him, he told 'Umar to let him alone and said to "Umair, "Draw nearer." 'Umair approached and said, "Good morning." That was the salutation in the period of Jahiliyyah. The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Allah has honored us with a better salutation than yours. It is As-Salaamu Alaikum, the salutation of the believers in Paradise." "Umair said, "O, Muhammad, by Allah I have heard it recently."
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "What made you come, 'Umair?" 'Umair said, "I have come for the sake of this captive in your hands." The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Tell the truth, 'Umair, what have you come for, 'Umair, "I have come for that purpose." The Prophet (PBUH) said, "But you sat with Safwaan Ibn Umaiyah at Al-Hijir and mentioned those of Al-Qalib from the Quraish, then you said, were it not for my debts and my children, I would ride and kill Muhammad. Safwaan promised to repay your debts and maintain your children on condition that you kill me, but Allah prevented you from doing so."
At the moment, 'Umair cried, "I witness that there is no Deity worthy of worship but Allah and that you are His Messenger. That matter wasn't attended by anyone except Safwaan and me. By Allah, Allah told it to you. Praise be to Allah who guided me to Islam." The Prophet (PBUH) said to his companions, "Teach your brother the religion and how to reach the Qur'aan and set free the prisoner of war."
Thus, "Umair Ibn Wahb embraced Islam. Thus, the Satan of Quraish was so overwhelmed by the light of the Prophet (PBUH) and the light of Islam that, in a moment, he embraced Islam and turned into the Disciple of Islam.
'Umar Ibn Al-Khaftaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "By Allah, I hated him more than I hated a pig, when he appeared. But now, I love him more than I love some of my sons."
From the time 'Umair left Makkah for Al-Madinah, Safwaan Ibn Umaiyyah, who had persuaded 'Umair to go and kill the Messenger, walked proudly in the streets of Makkah and dropped into its meetings and clubs joyfully and merrily. Whenever his people and his brothers asked him about the reason for his merriment and ecstasy when the bones of his father were still warm in the sands of Badr, he rubbed his hands proudly and said to the people, "Hurrah! After a few days, happy news will come and make you forget the Battle of Badr." Every morning he went out of Makkah and asked the caravans, "Hasn't any matter occurred in Al-Madinah?" Their answers were in the negative, as none of them had heard or seen any important matter in Al-Madinah.
Safwaan continued without despair asking caravan after caravan until one day he met one and said to them, "Hasn't anything taken place in Al-Madiinah?" The traveler said, "Yes, a very important matter occurred." With a radiant face and at the peak of ecstasy Safwaan asked the traveler anxiously, "What happened? Tell me!" The man said, "'Umair Ibn Wahb has embraced Islam, and he is there learning the religion and the Qur'aan!"
'Umair entered Makkah as a Muslim though he had left it a few days earlier as a polytheist. In his memory was the image of 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab when he embraced Islam, and cried, "By Allah! I'll sit as a believer in every place where I sat as a polytheist."
In Islam there is no permanent enmity, and when you hate someone you actually hate his actions not him as a person.
'Umar Ibn Al-Khaftaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "By Allah, I hated him more than I hated a pig, when he appeared. But now, I love him more than I love some of my sons."
Respect and love make the Islamic society very respectful:
The infidels of Quraish arrested our Master Khubaib, may Allah be pleased with him, and he was crucified on a trunk of palm tree, and before he was killed, he was asked, "Would you like Muhammad to be in your place?" He said, "I swear to Allah that I will never let the Messenger PBUH get hurt by a thorn while I am sitting with my children, enjoying all the luxury and health of the worldly life." Upon hearing that, Abu Sufyan said, "I have never seen anyone loves his friend the way the companions of Muhammad love him." Respect, love and glorification make societies very moral.
It is clear how the father, the mother, the old brother and the uncle are highly respected in the Islamic societies, while the west complains about the disintegration of the family nexus and about the immortality that prevails in its societies. Thus, I hope that you do not overlook the valuable graces bestowed upon us by Allah the Almighty.
When I was about to leave Australia, the head of the Islamic Community there wept and said, "Tell our brothers in Damascus that the dumpsters there are better than the paradises of Australia." I asked him, "Why are you saying that?" He said, "Your son in Damascus is yours, and he is raised as a Muslim just the way you have been raised, and even though shortcomings might take place, Islam is great enough in Damascus to bring him back to the right track, but in Australia the possibilities that your son might turn out to be a Christian, an atheist or a gay (wearing earring only in the right ear as a sign that he is gay and the indication of wearing earring in the left ear only or in both ears is even worse) are very high.
Uprightness, perfection and respect are exalted characteristics which make children respect parents:
In Islamic countries, we have coherent households, and this is but a Divine grace upon us. When man travels abroad, he will acknowledge the positive things in his society back home, and though there are negative things, the positive things are dominant. I invoke Allah to bestow upon us the grace of knowing this great religion and its great manners which distinguish the believers.
The noble companions were very polite, and one of them was asked once, "Who is Akbar (this Arabic word has many meanings, and among them are older and greater) you or the Prophet PBUH?" His answer was very polite, for he said, "He is greater than me, but I was born before him."
I know lots of generous fathers with their children, and they are highly respected by them. Generosity and perfection bring about exalted morals, so I would like to address fathers: your generosity towards your children, your perfection, your righteousness, your honesty and your trustworthiness are lofty traits which make your children respect you. Remember when you establish a healthy relation with your children, your mere turning away from them will be like a severe punishment to them, and so such children are in no need of rebuking or hitting.
I invoke Allah the Almighty that these facts will be applied to our households, and that they will turn into acquired morals by children, so that they will be raised to be obedient to Allah and to earn Islamic manners.
