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Islamic Fiqh- Transactions- Halal and Haram- Lesson (05-22): Islamic Dress Code for Women
   
 
 
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful  
 
<br />
<p class="title">  Allah made women endeared to men and made them love adorning themselves:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Dear brother, this is the fifth lecture of the series Al-Halal and Al-Haram in Islam, and we are still tackling the Islamic dress code. Last lecture we finished discussing the dress code of men, and today we are discussing the dress code of women.</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>What a woman wears is very crucial in her religion, because it reflects how religious she is, and the more she abides by that code the more religious she is. The Prophet PBUH forbade men from wearing gold, and it is mentioned in the following Ayah that his words are inspired to him:</p><p class="quran">﴾Nor does he speak of (his own) desire. It is only an Inspiration that is inspired.﴿ </p>
<p class="author"> [An-Najm, 3-4]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>According to the Prophetic Sunnah, men are forbidden to wear gold and silk, but women are allowed to wear them, because the nature of the woman is different from that of the man, for loving adornment is installed in women. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>If you observe a boy and girl, you will notice that the boy spends his time riding a stick of wood and acting like a knight who is riding a horse, whereas the girl spends her time playing with her dulls or pretending that her pillow is her baby, and she holds it and pampers it acting like the mother who does that to her little child.  Thus, before entering the world of adulthood in life, imitating knights is installed in the nature of little boys and imitating the mother is installed in the nature of little girls.</p>
<p class="title">It is part of the woman's religion to look after her appearance</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Loving adornment is installed in woman's nature, and this characteristic is suitable for her mission as repose for the man. Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.﴿ </p>
<p class="author"> [Ar-Rum, 21]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Furthermore, adornment of the woman for her husband is a religious demand, and the more she makes herself desirable to her husband, the farthest her husband will become from committing something Haram. This is how we understand the meaning of Prophet's Hadith PBUH when he ordered young men of getting married, because it makes them lower their gaze. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Actually, the woman who neglects her appearance is forcing her husband to look at other women which makes her a sinner even if she offers night prayers or memorizes the Quran.</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The female companion used to ask her husbands, "Do you need me in anything?" If he said, "Yes, I do", she would respond to his request, and if he said, "No, I do not", she would go to her prayer place to offer her night prayers. Hence, it is part of fulfilling a religious demand when the Muslim woman beautifies her herself to her husband, and it is naturally installed in her. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>This loving for adornment in females is a test for them; they either beautify themselves to their husbands, and so they fulfill an act of worship and obedience to Allah, or they adorn themselves to strangers, and so they commit an act of debauchery and a sin.</p>
<p class="title">Loving adorning is installed in women, and this manifests their perfection:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The believing woman adorns herself to her husband, and if she buys a new dress, her husband should be the first one to see it. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>This introduction indicates that adornment is endeared to the woman, and it is part of her nature, better yet it makes her complete, whereas any exaggeration in adornment from the part of the husband is but a flaw.  The male believer is required to look good, to put on clean and nice cloths, to wear perfume and to comb his hair, but anything further than that will be a flaw in his nature and mission. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Women naturally love gold, diamond and pearls, and these things are the means to honor them. Some husbands are not convinced with these tendencies, but they should know that what females like is different from what males like. Women's femininity is manifested in adorning themselves for their husbands, and as I have mentioned earlier, the woman is the repose to her husband, so she is allowed in Islam to put on gold and silk for that purpose to please him at home, making him forget about his troubles during the day.</p>
<p class="title">Beautifying herself to her husband is part of the woman's religion: </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Dear brother, the house of the believer is like Paradise, not because of its size or luxuriousness, but because he and his family are obedient servants to Allah the Almighty. How do you think corruption begins? It begins when the woman adorns herself to strangers instead of doing that to her husband. The Prophet PBUH said in the following Noble Hadith:</p><p class="s7adeth">((It was narrated that Al-Ash'ari said: "The Messenger of Allah [SAW] said: 'Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance then she is an adulteress.'"))</p>
<p class="author">  [An-Nasa'ee, Al-Hakim and Ahmad, on the authority of Al-Ash'ari]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Adornment, wearing perfume, wearing makeup and showing the beauty should be done only to the husband as part of fulfilling the woman's religious demand, and doing all that in front of strangers might lead her to Hell-Fire, because she is considered an adulterer. Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment.﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [An-Nur, 31]</p>
  <span class="spc"> </span>You use this as a standard of so many other matters.</p>
<p class="title">The woman who shows her beauty in public is hurting other Muslims:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The chaste, pure and believing woman does not show but what she cannot hide like her height, her figure or the color of her cloths, and everything else is covered in front of male strangers. Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [An-Nur, 31]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>"Only that which is apparent" means what she cannot hide, like her height or figure or the color of her cloths. Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment.﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [An-Nur, 31]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Obscenity, showing skin and wearing tight and transparent cloths are major sins in woman's life, because she is violating the Muslims' right by attracting them to her,  making those who are not married among men feel deprivation and making those who are married among men regretful (when they compare her with their wives). Thus, when a woman shows her beauty in the street, she is offending male Muslims. </p>
<p class="title">The woman who shows her beauty is attracting men by her actions not words: </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The woman who shows her beauty in public defends herself by saying, "I am chaste", but if this claim is right how come you hurt Muslims and destroy their households? You are inciting them to do something evil (such as gazing at her beauty lengthily and thinking of committing a sin) by your actions not words.  Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment.﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [An-Nur, 31]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>First of all, keep in mind that it is forbidden, and before I go on with this point, when we say forbidden this means it is a major sin that is decreed by Allah the Almighty Who inspired to the Prophet PBUH, so it is not me who came up with its ruling. I repeat; it is forbidden for the woman to wear tight cloths which show parts of her body and its bones or to wear transparent fabrics which show the color of her skin. This is a matter related to the woman's religion, and if women are so much into fashion, they should know that their religion is the top priority in their life. </p>
<p class="title">There is wisdom in the following Hadith:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Listen to this Hadith:</p><p class="s7adeth">((Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "There are two types of people who will be punished in Hell and whom I have not seen: men having whips like the tails of cows and they will be beating people with them, and, women who will be dressed but appear to be naked, inviting to evil; and they themselves will be inclined to it. Their heads will appear like the humps of the Bactrian camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Jannah and they will not smell its fragrance which is perceptible from such and such a distance."))</p>
<p class="author">  [Muslim, on the authority of Abi Hurairah]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Have you given any thought why the Prophet PBUH mentioned those two types of people together?</p>
<p class="s7adeth">((…men having whips like the tails of cows and they will be beating people with them, and, women who will be dressed but appear to be naked, inviting to evil; and they themselves will be inclined to it. Their heads will appear like the humps of the Bactrian camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Jannah and they will not smell its fragrance which is perceptible from such and such a distance.))</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Why did the Prophet mention those two types of people together? It is because the way the oppressor oppresses people, so how does he do so? He unleashes people's desires, and when man follows his lusts, he becomes vulnerable, and he will fear everything and will submit to every powerful person. Therefore, what oppressors do is to unleash people's desires without any control (just like those women who are dressed but appear to be naked).</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>People might not pay attention to the delicacy of the Prophet's description PBUH, for he said, "They are dressed but appear to be naked", and the two words (dressed and naked) are opposite to one another, so why did the Prophet mention them together? It is impossible, for example, to say that this place is dark, but there is light at the same time, because one of them refutes the other, so if it is dark, then there is no light, and if there is light, darkness does not exist. There are two opposite things, and they are contradictory to one another, so why did the Prophet PBUH say "they are dressed but appear to be naked"?</p>
<p class="s7adeth">((…men having whips like the tails of cows and they will be beating people with them, and, women who will be dressed but appear to be naked,…))</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>How can a woman be dressed if she is naked? How can a woman be naked if she is dressed?  The interpretation of using this paradox is that the Prophet PBUH had insight about the way women will appear in the end of days. As if he were looking at the way they would dress with his own noble eyes, for women nowadays are dressed in outfits which hardly cover anything of their skin, and in some cases the fabric is transparent to such an extent that it shows the color of the woman's skin, or it is too tight that it shows her body lines as if she were naked. This is but part of the Prophet's prophecy PBUH.</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The Prophet PBUH ordered the woman not to show any part of her body, so her outfit should be thick, long and baggy. This is how the believing woman should be dressed, so that none of her body lines will appear to sh3er. Hence: <p class="s7adeth">  ((…and, women who will be dressed but appear to be naked, inviting to evil; and they themselves will be inclined to it. Their heads will appear like the humps of the Bactrian camel inclined to one side…))</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>This means that women who are dressed like that are but sending an open invitation to men by the way they look and not by words to commit a sin. Accordingly, "inclined" in the Hadith refers to being inclined to men and at the same time making men inclined to them (due to the way they are dressed). "Their heads will appear like the humps of the camel" is a reference to the women who use extensions to make their hair longer by 10 centimeters.</p>
<p class="s7adeth">((…Their heads will appear like the humps of the Bactrian camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Jannah and they will not smell its fragrance which is perceptible from such and such a distance.))</p>
<p class="title">The man who dresses like women and the woman who dresses like men are cursed:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>This topic is very important, because each one of our brother but has a wife or a daughter, and he should be keen on the way they dress in the street. Does anyone of them wear something that shows her body lines? Does the daughter wear tight outfit? If she does, then she is committing a major sin, and her father should order her and forbid her from that and should observe the way they dress in public, for this is a crucial part of his religion and of applying Islam in his household.</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The Prophet PBUH in so many As7adeth instructed us that women should not wear what men wears, like trousers, for trousers are men wear, and if women put them on, then they are violating a Prophetic order. This is the meaning of the following Hadith:</p><p class="s7adeth">((Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: Allah's Messenger (PBUH) cursed those men who are in the similitude (assume the manners) of women and those women who are in the similitude (assume the manners) of men.))</p>
<p class="author">
  [Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Ibn 'Abbas]
  </p>

<p><span class="spc"> </span>Scholars said that talking like men, doing facial expressions like them or imitating their posture is included in assuming the manners of men. Thus, it is forbidden for a woman to speak loudly like men, to imitate their sharp looks or to copy men in the way they talk, move, walk or wear. The same goes for men, so it is forbidden for a man to imitate the woman in the way she talks, walks, moves or wears. Such behavior brings to its doer the curse of the Prophet PBUH.  This is Islam, so you should check the way you dress and the way your women dress in public, for this is a crucial part of religion.</p>
<p class="title">Manhood adorns men and femininity adorns women: </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>What does mischief mean? If we say that this water is spoiled, what does that mean? It means that it becomes anything but water which supposed to be odorless, tasteless and colorless. Thus, in case we sense a color, a taste or an odor in water, we will say that this water is spoiled. Much in the same line, Allah the Almighty created the woman with a special nature, Fitrah and mold, so what are we doing when we push her against all that? We are corrupting her. What are we doing when we push the woman to mingle with men and deal with them all the day? We are changing her nature to the worse. While the woman is supposed to be modest, she becomes rude, and when the woman loses her feminine side, she loses the most beautiful thing she has. Therefore, women should not imitate men and men should not imitate women.</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>A man, who was known for his remarkable social status, sent his son abroad to finish his high scientific studies, and few years later, he received a letter from his son informing him that he got married, and he invited his father to visit his house. When the father traveled to visit his son and his wife, he found out that his son was involved in same-sex marriage. As a result, the father passed out and had a heart attack. It is unbearable to see a man acting like women, for his manhood, youth and courage are the most beautiful traits in him, whereas modesty is the most beautiful thing in women. Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾Then there came to him one of the two women, walking shyly.﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [Al-Qasas, 25]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Our Master Musa (Moses) PBUH was taken by the shyness of Shu'aib's daughters, but what caught the attention of Shu'aib's daughters in Musa PBUH? His strength and trustworthiness did. Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾And said one of them (the two women): "O my father! Hire him! Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy."﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [Al-Qasas, 26]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Bear in mind that among the sub-orders of the Prophet PBUH is that men are forbidden from wearing bright colors clothing, such as saffron T-shirt, and they are forbidden from wearing clothes that contain drawings, such as small flowers and trees. </p>
<p class="title">Choosing clothes without lavishness and haughtiness:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>We move to the standards of the Islamic dress code. The dress should not go with the latest fashion (it will be worn for showing off which makes the person act arrogantly) nor should it be old fashioned. You are allowed to do all permissible matters, like eating, drinking, putting on clothes, traveling or sleeping without lavish appearances or arrogant attitude. Allah the Almighty says in this regard: </p><p class="quran">﴾Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster.﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [Luqman, 18]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>We should be accurate concerning this point. The excessive expenditure has to do with the materialistic side of things, but arrogance has to do with the mental effects of it. Man can do all permissible matters without excessive expenditure and without arrogance and boasting. The Prophet PBUH said:</p><p class="s7adeth">((Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar: The Prophet (PBUH) said Allah will not look, on the Day of Resurrection at the person who drags his garment (behind him) out of conceit.))</p>
<p class="author">  [Al-Bukhari, Abu Dawod and An-Nasa'ee, on the authority of Ibn Umar]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>When man check his appearance excessively, and he stands in front of the mirror  a lot, making sure that his outfit is very sharp, he might become self-conceited, so he might see himself superior to people when he get out of his house, which is  arrogance. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Excessiveness comes from having too many outfits, and as I have just said, there should not be any excessive expenditure or arrogance in the way man is dressed. The Prophet PBUH said:</p><p class="s7adeth">((It was narrated that Ibn 'Umar said: "The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: 'Whoever wears a garment of pride and vanity, Allah will clothe him, on the Day of Resurrection, in a garment of humiliation.'"))</p>
<p class="author">  [Ahmad, Abu Dawod, An-Nasa'ee and Ibn Majah, on the authority of Ibn Umar]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>A man asked our Master Abdullah bin Umar, may Allah be pleased with them, about what he had to wear, to which Ibn Umar said, "Put on that which does not humiliate you in front of the vulgar and does not discredit you in front of wise men."</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Let me ask you this question:  Why did the Prophet PBUH prevent us from putting on overused old fashion cloths? It is because we will become a jock to the foolish since they size up people from the way they look. On the other hand, any clothing which goes with the latest fashion will make wise men degrade you, because it exceeds the limits of moderation.</p>
<p class="title">It is forbidden to exaggerate in adorning by changing the nature created by Allah:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Regarding the point of going beyond limits in adornment by changing the nature Allah has created, the Prophet PBUH forbade tattoos and abrading teeth. Thus, tattoos are forbidden dear brother. Tattooing is drawing something on the skin (like animals, tools, geometric shapes or other stuff) by burning ink under the skin which makes this ink stays with man until his death. The tattoo is forbidden in Islam due to the following Ayah:</p><p class="quran">﴾and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [An-Nisa', 119]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>In China, they used to make women wear iron shoes to keep their feet small, which disfigured their feet and causes permanent damage to them. There are other practices which some nations do to change the nature created by Allah the Almighty, and all of which are forbidden in Islam:</p><p class="s7adeth"> ((It is narrated that Abdullah Ibn Mas'ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "May Allah curse the women who do tattoos and those for whom tattoos are done, those who pluck their eyebrows and those who file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and alter the creation of Allah.")) </p>
<p class="author">  [Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ood]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Every era has its own taste of beauty standards. Having gaps between women's teeth is considered a sign of beauty that some men are attracted to,  so women started abrading their teeth in order to have gaps between them, and this is but changing the creation of Allah the Almighty, and it is but diabolic. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Plastic surgeries are categorized (according to scholars) under this prohibition (changing the nature created by Allah the Almighty). However, if these plastic surgeries are done to correct a flaw the person has by birth, and which brings embarrassment to him, it is allowed. There are unbelievable plastic surgeries done in the west, for they are done to make women more attractive and younger, and they are Haram if done for these purposes.</p>
<p class="title">The woman should not change Allah's creation or  cause harm to herself:</p>
<p class="s7adeth">((…and those women who get their hair removed from their eyebrows…))</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Women tend to do things to enhance their appearance but changing the nature created by Allah is totally forbidden. Outlining the top and bottom borders of the brows is allowed but removing the brows entirely is Haram (it is called Nams). </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>"Nams" (removing the entire brow) is forbidden, because it used to mark prostitutes in the Prophetic era and Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic era), so the Prophet PBUH forbade women to do the same in order not to look like prostitutes:</p><p class="s7adeth">((…and those women who get their hair removed from their eyebrows…))</p>
<p class="author">  [Agreed upon]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>However, outlining the top and the bottom borders of the brows is allowed according to the Prophetic Sunnah. I do not want to go into details concerning this issue, because female Islamic missioners are more entitled to talk about them, but the main point is that the woman is not allowed to change the nature created by Allah the Almighty, nor is she allowed to do anything harmful for the purpose of beautifying herself.</p>
<p class="title">Refraining from nursing the baby is altering Allah's creation: </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>In some cases the mother abstains from breastfeeding under the pretext of keeping her body in shape (as she may assume), so that she may keep her fitness and beauty, but what does this woman do? Actually she is changing the nature created by Allah. As I mentioned in so many lectures, formulas might cause damage to the brain of the infant, and this is something proved scientifically. Moreover, it might cause chronic cardiac and arterial diseases. Let alone, it affects the kidneys and causes psychological disorders. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>I repeat my previous question: What does the mother who refuses to nurse her children in order to keep her body in shape do?  She changes the nature created by Allah. The bottom line is that we should maintain the nature created by Allah. Let me ask you this question: What does Allah assign the mother to do? He assigns her to nurse her baby, and the proof is in the following Ayah: </p><p class="quran">﴾The msh3er shall give suck to their children for two whole years﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [Al-Baqarah, 233]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Breastfeeding is a nature created by Allah, and abstaining from nursing the babies is but changing this nature which Allah the Almighty has created, and whoever does so should be ready for the punishment.  The highest rates of breast cancer are among the women who do not breastfeed their babies, whereas the lower rates of this intractable disease are among those who nurse their babies.</p>
<p class="title">Dying the hair is permissible:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The Prophet PBUH allowed the man to dye his hair if it turns gray, but if he is long in the tooth, he should not use the black color in dying his hair, because the black is more befitting to the younger, so old people might choose other colors than black and it is fine to keep it gray. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>If a man proposes to a woman, and he has his hair dyed, he should come clean with her, otherwise he will be cheating her. These are the Islamic rulings on this matter. </p><p class="s7adeth">((It was narrated from Jabir that he said: "Abu Quhaifah was brought to the Prophet (PBUH) on the Day of the Conquest (of Makkah), and his head was all white. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: 'Take him to some of his womenfolk and let them change this, but avoid black.'))</p>
  <p class="author">  [Muslim, on the authority of Jabir]</p><p class="s7adeth">((Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (PBUH) as saying: Jews and Christians do not dye (their beards), so act differently from them.))</p>
<p class="author">  [Agreed up, on the authority of Abi Hurairah]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>It is allowed for the person to dye his hair in order to be in compliance with the Sunnah.<p class="title">  The family is a firm whose leadership is given to the husband:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Let me remind our honorable brother that women's clothing is a crucial part of their religion. We mention these points so that every man will be keen on the way his women (wife and daughters) appear in public. The believing woman does not follow fashion, because this does not befit her. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The Islamic dress code for the woman is that her clothing should be baggy, thick and long (so that it may cover her body entirely), and this is exactly what pleases Allah the Almighty. As for the husband when he says, "I have nothing to do with the way my daughter dresses", he stops being the head and the sustainer of the house. Allah the Almighty says:</p><p class="quran">﴾Men are the protectors and maintainers of women﴿ </p>
  <p class="author">  [An-Nisa', 34]</p>
  <br />
  <span class="spc"> </span>The family is but an institute led by the husband, but when is he given this leadership? He is given it when he fulfills the following conditions:<p class="quran">﴾Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.﴿ </p>
<p class="author">  [An-Nisa', 34]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>When man is better than his wife in knowledge, piety, spending and generosity, he will have the upper hand of the household, and having the upper hand is one of the means to a successful marriage.  It is the husband's responsibility to define the dress code his wife should abide by. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Unfortunately and in defense of the way one's wife dresses, the husband says, "My wife is chaste, modest and pure-hearted, but she likes to dress like everyone else." This excuse is religiously rejected, and it is mere aspersion against Islam, for the believer should follow the Sunnah of the Prophet PBUH. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Keep in mind that women's unacceptable dressing lead to severe Divine Punishment. How did scholars deduce that it is forbidden for woman to get dressed the way she likes? In so many As7adeth the Prophet PBUH did not specifically say that it is forbidden, but rather he said:<p class="s7adeth">  ((…They will not enter Jannah and they will not smell its fragrance which is perceptible from such and such a distance.))</p>
<p class="author">  [Muslim, on the authority of Abi Hurairah]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The Prophet PBUH made it very clear that women who are dressed but appear to be naked are actually inviting to evil; and they themselves will be inclined to it, so they shall never enter Paradise or smell its fragrance. This means that dressing like that is Haram.</p>
<p class="title">Words in the Prophetic As7adeth which indicate prohibition: </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Scholars consider everything that is mentioned in As7adeth which include "He is not one of us" or "does not belong to us" forbidden matters: </p><p class="s7adeth">((Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (PBUH) said: Anyone who inauthors a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not one of us.)) </p>
  <p class="author">  [At-Tabarani, on the authority of Abi Hurairah]</p><p class="s7adeth">((Narrated 'Amr bin Shu'aib: from his father, from his grandfather, that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "He is not one of us who resembles other than us…))</p>
  <p class="author">  [At-Tirmizi, on the authority of Amr bin Shu'aib]</p><p class="s7adeth"> ((Whoever is affluent but is stingy with his wife does not belong to our nation.))</p>
  <p class="author">  [Musnad Ash–Shihab, by Al-Qada'ee, on the authority of 'Aishah]</p><p class="s7adeth">((Jubair b. Mut'im reported the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) as saying: he who summons sh3er to party-spirit does not belong to us; and he who dies upholding party spirit does not belong to us.'))</p>
<p class="author">  [Abu Dawod, on the authority of Jubair]</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>Pay attention that the phrases "He is not one of us", "they are cursed by Allah", "They deserve Allah's Wrath" "They will not enter Jannah" entail prohibition. Scholars use delicate standards, and they have deduced from such Hadith (and the like of it) that whoever does that is actually involved in committing Haram, and committing Haram is very grave for it brings man to his doom.<p class="title">  We should not go soft on the way little girls dress:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>One more important thing: Parents sometimes go soft on the way their little daughter dresses assuming that she is very young, but they forget that unless this little child I raised to abide by Islamic moralities, she will become out of control when she gets older, and it will be too late to teach her the Islamic manners, because, as a father, you cannot oblige her when she is old. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>You can oblige your little son to observe Sawm part of the day or every other day, but is this "Amr Taklifi" (Divine Assignment at this early age)? No it is not, but it is Amr Ta'dibi (you are training your son to be able to observe Sawm later on when he is older). When this little child reaches the age of puberty, and he is assigned to observe Sawm, he will be ready to offer this Fard, and only then it will be Amr Taklifi.</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>The same goes for the little girl, for she should be raised according to the Islamic morality. If she is raised to follow the Islamic dress code, she will be accustomed to it, but if we neglect her when she is a little girl, and we let her show her body lines in front of all the members of the family, it will be hard for us to oblige her to follow the Islamic dress code when she is older and to abide by the Islamic manners.</p>
<p class="title">A question about the perfume which is mixed with alcohol:</p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>I was asked about the perfume which is mixed with alcohol, is it forbidden or not? It is better for man to use the fragrance oil whose use is agreed upon by all scholars, but as for the perfume which is mixed with alcohol, the rigid scholars forbade it, whereas the moderate ones said, "It is Najasah Hukmiyah (Impurity by definition but not real impurity), and it is an exception among impurities, because it evaporates off the skin after a while so it does not exist anymore. Well, it is recommended to use the fragrance oil. </p>
<p><span class="spc"> </span>As for the perfumes mixed with alcohol, I repeat; it is Najasah Hukmiyyah, and it is an exception among other impurities as it evaporates off the skin after a while, so it vanishes soon. The acceptable thing to do is to avoid wearing the alcoholic perfumes before performing Salah and to use the fragrance oil instead. This is the moderate opinion in this regard.</p>
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