- Islamic Biography / Biography of Female Companions / Mothers of Believers
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- Hafsa bint Umar
The dates of Mrs. Hafsah's birth, her marriage to the Prophet and death:
Dear brother, let us continue with the fourteenth lesson of the reverend female companions' biographies, may Allah be pleased with them all. We are still talking about the household of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, particularly about his wives. Today we are discussing the biography of the Prophet’s fourth wife, the Mother of the Believers Hafsah bint Umar bin Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with them.
Hafsah bint Umar, may Allah be pleased with them, was the pious wife who used to fast much and stand frequently in prayers. Furthermore, she was the one who kept the firstwritten copy of the Noble Quran in her house. Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her, was born five years before the Messenger of Allah, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, became the Prophet. She got married to him three years after the Hijrah and after Aeyshah, may Allah be pleased with her. Hafsah narrated many As7adeth from the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, and from her father. Her brother Abdullah bin Umar narrated from her many As7adeth of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. He narrated that the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:
((Allah has chosen me, and He has chosen my Companions for me.))
The household of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, is a part of the mission, so his wife who Almighty Allah had chosen for him was assigned to transmit his Sunnan which are classified into: Sunnah Qawliyyah (his As7adeth), Sunnah Fiiliyyah (his actions) and Sunnah Taqririyyah (the approvals of Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, regarding the actions of the companions by his remaining silent or appreciating them.) Thus, the person who had to transmit the Sunnan of the Prophet, which we have to follow till the Day of Resurrection, was a qualified one.If the wife was not qualified, she would not deserve to be in the household of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. Narrated Abu Usaid:
((We went out with the Prophet to a garden called Ash-Shaut till we reached two walls between which we sat down. The Prophet said, "Sit here," and went in (the garden). The Jauniyya (a lady from Bani Jaun) had been brought and lodged in a house in a date-palm garden in the home of Umaima bint An-Nu'man bin Sharahil, and her wet nurse was with her.
When the Prophet entered upon her, he said to her, "Give me yourself." She said, "Can a princess give herself in marriage to an ordinary man?" The Prophet raised his hand to pat her so that she might become tranquil. She said, "I seek refuge with Allah from you." He said, "You have sought refuge with One Who gives refuge." Then the Prophet came out to us and said, "O Abu Usaid! Give her two white linen dresses to wear and let her go back to her family."))
Hafsah, bint Umar bin Al-Khattab, the caliber of Islam died in the reign of Mu'awiyah bin Abi Sufiyan while people were giving him the pledge of allegiance.
Her first husband and the way he died:
Dear brother, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, married her after her period of waiting was over. Her first marriage was to Khunays Ibn Huthafah Ibn Qays as-Sahami, may Allah be pleased with him, who was from Quraysh and was one of the first who embraced Islam. He took part in the two emigrations to Abyssinia and then to Al-Madeenah with the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, to support him and fight with him. Khunays fought in the battles of Badr and Uhud. In the latter battle he was fatally wounded and died shortly thereafter in Al-Madeenah.
The reverend female companion was a righteous wife, and all of you know that this worldly life is but a place of enjoyment and the best enjoyment in which is the righteous wife as the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said in the following Hadith:
((The whole world is a place of enjoyment and the best enjoyment is a righteous wife.))
In another Hadith the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was asked which woman was best and he replied:((The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding herself or property by doing anything of which he disapproves.))
Hafsah was a companion's righteous wife; it is enough for the wife to be righteous to enter Paradise. This is what the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said in the following Hadith:((Please go and tell the ladies whom you represent that by doing your duty by your husbands in a pleasant manner, keeping in mind what will make them happy, and following them faithfully, you will please greatly Allah and He will give you the same rewards as have been promised by men.))
You know that Al-Jihad is the best deed ever, so if a woman takes care of her husband and children, she deserves Paradise. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him said:((If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (i.e. Ramadan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, 'Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.'))
As I mentioned earlier, Khunays was one of those who participated in the two emigrations; to Abyssinia and then to Al-Madeenah with the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. He fought against al-Mushrikeen (polytheists) in the battle of Badr. The believers who fought in Badr were praised by the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him:
((Who knows, perhaps Allah has already looked at the Badr warriors and said: 'Do whatever you like, for I have forgiven you.'))
They supported this religion and made it triumphant. Some people benefit Islam, while the sh3er make use of it; some people participate positively to support Islam, while other people participate negatively; some give Islam, while other people take from it. Thus, those who sacrifice their time, efforts, money and souls in the cause of supporting the religion of Almighty Allah are best rewarded and they surpass those who make use of Islam. Khunays was one of the reverend companions who took part in Badr. Almighty Allah says:(And Allah has already made you victorious at Badr, when you were a weak little force.)
The believers were very weak; in weaponry, money and number of fighters. However, they were victorious, because they submitted themselves to Almighty Allah. Khunays was seriously injured in the battle of Uhud, and he died from his deadly wounds. Hafsah was widowed while she was still young at the age of twenty.
Umar's situation after the death of Hafsah's husband:
Dear brother, the death of Hafsah's husband was very painful to Umar. Indeed, only fathers among you know how dear the children are. I think that Almighty Allah makes us close to Him through fatherhood; a father is merciful, caring and affectionate to his children. Fathers are happy when they know that their children are happy and safe. If you give as much gold as this worldly life it means nothing for a father whose son is not a comfort of his eye.
This worldly life is for the father; he will be relieved if his sons are upright, and his daughters are happy with their husbands. Thus, the father who raises his children according to the Islamic teachings is greatly rewarded by Almighty Allah in this life as well as in the Hereafter, Almighty Allah says:
("Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun")
I sometimes tell fathers who have righteous sons that all the wealth of this worldly life is worthless in comparison with their sons. You son is your successor and all his good deeds will be added to yours in your Book. Therefore, every father should take care of his children as they are a continuation of him. I would like to remind my young brother to make use of all the experiences and facts in this worldly life. If you look into a heart of an old man he will tell you, "If I were young again I would benefit from the experiences of this life."
It is really worthwhile for a young man to listen to the experiences of a-forty-year old man and make use of them. How great it will be if it is a mutual benefit; the young benefit from the moral lessons extracted from the old man's experiences, and the old man is encouraged by the young man to revive his young spirit. The old man will have a rich experience of life; words of wisdom, facts and pieces of advice learned throughout those years that he lived, facing the difficulties of life and being able to defeat them. How great it is for a young man to listen to all these words of and facts and make use of them.
Let me tell you this: the best enjoyment in this worldly life is having a wife and children who are the comfort of one's eye. To find such a wife needs great effort.
Back to our Master Umar, who -as I mentioned earlier- was depressed because of his daughter's affliction since she had become a widow at such a young age.
Almighty Allah has made the Prophet, may Allah have and blessings upon him, taste the pain of various events in his life, such as the pain of having his daughters divorced, the grief of losing the son and the hardship of emigration. Our Master Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, tasted the pain of having his daughter widowed. As you know, both men and women were created to get married they complement each other, and they have a kind of harmony with each other. Umar grieved to see his daughter no longer enjoy the marital bliss after the death of her husband.
Some people deceptively think that a marital bliss can be gained by money, but this is absolutely wrong. Affection is the very reason of the marital bliss. As long as there is affection between husband and wife they will never mind eating modest food and living in a very small house. This modest food will taste delicious and the house will be large just by the effect of affection and love between the spouses. On the other hand, the largest house will be the smallest cabin and the best food will taste bitter affected by the grudge and irritability between the spouses.
As the period of waiting came to its end, Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, decided to look for a good husband to his daughter. Most fathers worry about their children and how to see them in the best of living conditions make them in a good condition, so they start to look for good spouses for their sons and daughters, which is really a great job. I keep saying; to be a righteous father, a righteous mother and a righteous child are reasons to enter Paradise.
The days passed and no one asked for the hand of Umar's daughter in marriage. Every father gets worried if his daughter becomes twenty-six years old with no one asking her for marriage. This father may think that she will not get married, but later on she might get married to the one who would please her and make her life happy. You should never be demanding nor should you give up, but leave the whole thing to Allah to take care of.
Umar did not know that the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was thinking of getting married to Hafsah, and that he confided this to Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, his closest friend. I hope that all of you have close friends in faith, someone who has a similar good character, mentality and strong faith. It is good to have such a friend to take care of him, help him and ask for his advice. To have a brother in faith is actually the most precious thing ever. A believer can never live alone in this life.
Psychologists say that if someone revealed his worries, he will get relieved. One of the psychological therapies is that the psychiatrist uses is to sit before the patient and make him talk. The minute this patient talks he will cool down. This is called entrusting. It is normal to have someone to whom you tell about your concerns; it is even said that whoever complains to a believer is as if he complains to Allah, while whoever complains to an infidel is as if he complains about Almighty Allah. If man has a close friend who is affectionate, sincere and reliable, he will be relieved when this man tells his friend about his problems.
When someone is under great pressure, he will not be able to see things clearly, so his friend whom he usefully trusts, will draw his attention to something that he could not notice and will advise him what to do. Almighty Allah has ordered the Prophet, who is the Master of all creations, to consult his companions, Almighty Allah says:
(And consult them in the affairs.)
Take my advice dear brother and select for yourself a friend who is wise, faithful and trustful, so you can disclose to him your troubles and worries. He may give you a very good advice, he may give you a good idea that you didn't think of and he may guide you to something that you were forgetful of. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him said:((Being with jama'ah (Muslim community) is mercy while being divided is torture.))
((Beware of division, for Shaytaan likes to be with the isolated person, but he keeps away from every two persons.))
It is very beneficial to consult other men who are wise and prudent. The outstanding and those who are blessed in their lives are used to consulting whoever is wise. Listen what the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said: ((Whoever prays Istikharah is never disappointed and whoever seeks counsel of other never feels regret.))
Umar decided to offer his daughter in marriage. Nowadays, it is scandalous for a father to offer his daughter in marriage. However, Prophet Shuaib told Prophet Musa, may Allah have peace upon them:(He said: "I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, …")
Looking for a good husband for your daughter is Sunnah, but nowadays it has become a shameful act, let alone that the young men mistakenly think that such a daughter is old, has a defect in her character or there is something wrong with her. Listen to the following ayah in which Almighty Allah says:
(He said: "I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, …")
When the traditions and customs of other nations immersed in the traditions of the Islamic nation, they have affected it negatively; new traditions that have no relation to Islam have emerged. For example; a wife tells her husband, "You can do whatever you want, but never ever think of getting married to another woman." she permits him to commit adultery, and forbids him from getting married to another woman. Is she a real Muslim wife?!!
Once I was watching a T.V show in which an Egyptian scientist was asked about her opinion concerning polygamy, listen what she said, "My opinion is pointless; Almighty Allah permits it, so who am I to forbid it?" This is the most significant answer I have ever heard.
A considerable period of time passed and Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, found no man to marry his daughter. He approached Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, and offered her hand in marriage to him, he, may Allah be pleased with him, did not respond.
Umar then went to Uthman Ibn Affan, may Allah be pleased with him, and offered him his daughter in marriage, but Uthman, may Allah be pleased with him, apologized by saying: "I think I would not like to marry at the present time." Umar's gloom increased upon Uthman's refusal. He became upset and angry with his two companions, mentioning it to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, complaining about Abu Bakr and Uthman, may Allah be pleased with them: "O Allah's Messenger, I offered my daughter's hand to marriage to Abu Bakr, but he refused. Then I offered it to Uthman, but he refused too." Thereupon the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, smiled and said:
"Hafsah will get a husband who is better than Uthman and Uthman will get a wife better than Hafsah."
Umar was puzzled, being unable to figure out what the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, meant. Shortly, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, himself married Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her. Accordingly, Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, was elated to receive such a great honor which he had never imagined possible, earlier. He saw himself in the same rank as that of Abu Bakr whose daughter Aeyshah, may Allah be pleased with her, had already been married to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. What a great honor to be the Prophet's father-in-law or to be the Prophet's son-in-law.Umar and his daughter, may Allah be pleased with them, were very pleased, and the companions congratulated the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, who extended his hand to honor Umar by becoming his son-in-law, and Hafsah' broken heart was cured by Almighty Allah.
The reason behind Abu Bakr's refusal to marry Hafsah:
I would like you dear brother to get used to find excuses for your friend's behavior, no matter how unusual and harmful his actions mught seem at first. Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, congratulated him and apologized by saying: "Do not be angry with me, Umar, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, mentioned Hafsah before, and I could not disclose his secret.. Had he left her, I would have married her."
Since the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, had mentioned Hafsah to him, he did not want to disclose the Prophet's, may Allah have and blessings upon him, secret.
If you get angry with your brother in faith, always try to find an excuse for him. Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, could not explain to Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, why he did not want to marry his daughter. He heard the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, mentioning her before him, so he could not reveal the secret. Actually, it is Sunnah to keep plans about engagement in secret, while marriage should be announced. Our Master As-Siddiq did not want to betray the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, so he kept silent when Umar offered him his daughter in marriage. Had he revealed the secret of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, he would have committed a deadly mistake. Some people get angry with their friends because of certain behavior, but when they know the reasons behind such behavior, they will be embarrassed. the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, taught us:
((Make seventy excuses for your brother.))
If you think that your brother has made a mistake, you should make seventy excuses for him before blaming him or complaining about him. I once told you that before the battle of Badr, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him said,
((Do not kill my uncle Al-Abbas.))
The companions mistakenly thought that Al-Abbas was Mushrik, so one of the companions did not accept what the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, saying "One of us kills his own father and brother and he tells us not to kill his uncle?!" I mentioned this story in our Friday Sermon two weeks ago. I said that Al-Abbas was Muslim and had adopted Islam covertly and remained in Makkah in order to transmit all the information about the movements of Quraysh to the noble Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. The proof is that when Al-Hajjaj bin Alaq As-Silmi spread the news in Makkah that the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was taken as a captive and that he would be sent to Makkah to be killed, Al-Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, was stunned upon hearing such piece of news. He immediately sent a messenger to Al-Hajjaj to tell him, "Allah is the Most Generous and the Exalted, so this piece of news is incorrect."
This is a rigorous evidence that al-Abbas was Muslim while he was in Makkah. He had to fight with Quraysh against the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. Otherwise, he would have been discovered. Had the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said that his uncle was Muslim, he would have put an end to his role. Also, had he not asked his companion not to kill him, his uncle would have been killed. Therefore, the Prophet said those concise words, "Do not kill my uncle Al-Abbas" without giving any details of such an order. The reverend companion who thought wrongly about the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said, "By Allah I kept giving charity for ten years hoping that Allah would forgive me my misguided thought of the Prophet." Sometimes you become very embarrassed when you discover that you had a misguided thought about your brother who turned out to be good, so do not take haste in making a judgment against him.
Moral lessons:
I heard a story of a father who has five daughters. One of them was not pretty enough to get married, so her parents decided to let her stay single in order to serve them when they got older. They told her that without any consideration about her feelings. The other sisters got married, while she stayed unmarried. However, a man asked for her hand in marriage. He was better than her sisters' husbands; he was richer, better in character and better in having Islamic knowledge. He honored her in way that no one can imagine. Man sometimes becomes at a loss for words when he realizes Allah's Wisdom; that broken-heart daughter was cured by Almighty Allah:
It was reported:
((I am with the broken-heart people.))
((The grief-stricken are under the care of Almighty Allah.))
((Almighty Allah loves every sad heart.))
((The sad are exposed to mercy.))
Allah is with you when you are sad, and He is with you when you are oppressed. If two spouses, partners or friends are arguing Allah is always with the oppressed, the honest, the innocent and the one whose heart is clear, and He is never with the other party.
The daughter's father never expected that his daughter would get married because of her looks. Her parents wanted her to stay at home and serve them. Unexpectedly, that girl got married to the man who was better than all of her sisters' husbands. It was said, "Let your expectations be greater for the worse situations than what they are for the better situations." Prophet Musa, may Allah have peace upon him, said:
(Wait! Verily, I have seen a fire, perhaps I can bring you some burning brand therefrom, or find some guidance at the fire.)
He just wanted to bring his people some burning brand, but once he was there, Almighty Allah talked to him. You have no idea where the good things are. They might come out from things that you do not like, while the bad things might come out from things you think are good.
I have something to say for those who are married: your marriage is the most serious event in your life, and your wife has been selected for you by Almighty Allah, which means that she is Allah's gift to you. Thus, you should accept it, and Almighty Allah will bring you abundant good from her.
Anas bin Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, was shocked when he saw his wife because she was not beautiful at all. He was very sad on his wedding day, and he refused to have sexual intercourse with her. She realized that he did not like her, so she told him, "The good might be within the evil." His wife meant that if she was evil in his sight, the good might be concealed within this evil. Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, could not bear living with his wife, so he deserted her for twenty years. When he came back, he prayed in a Masjid and he listened to a religious lesson there. Lots of people gathered to listen to the young Imam who gave that lesson and Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, was eager to know who that young Imam was. People told him that he was Malik bin Anas, and he knew then that it was his son from the woman who he could not live with.
You just have to be upright and trust in Allah; Allah will choose the best for you. Almighty Allah says:
(And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.)
A young man was engaged to a girl whom he found very beautiful, but after she became his wife, he discovered that one of her legs was shorter than the other. He did not notice that on the wedding day, because the bride wore a loose dress and a pair of shoes which were designed to suit her feet. When his parents found out that she was lame, they became outrageous, but the young husband told them, "I accepted her to be my wife; by Allah I will never divorce her." None of his relatives dared to talk about it again. I heard that Allah gave this man incredible bounty, and now he is one of the happiest people.Marital life has its own secrets, so appearances are sometimes deceptive. The big house and the huge income do not necessarily reflect the marital bliss. If the house is modest, but it is full of mercy, the parents are adherent to Allah's orders and they seek His Satisfaction, this house will be a garden of Paradise on earth, because Allah bestows His Mercy on it. On the other hand, some villas are but Hell on earth.
Aisha’s reacation to that marriage:
Hasfah, may Allah be pleased with her, was honored to be the wife of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, and she became one of the Mother of the Believers. Aeyshah bint Abi Bakr As-Siddiq, may Allah be pleased with them, gained such an exalted rank before her. Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her, entered the household of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, after Sawdah and Aeyshah, may Allah be pleased with them. She was the third wife among the living wives, and the fourth wife of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, after Mrs. Khadijah, Sawdah and Aeyshah, may Allah be pleased with them.
Mrs. Sawdah welcomed her warmly and did not consider Hafsah her rival, while Aeyshah, may Allah be pleased with her was annoyed, for the new wife was young just like her. Usually people get irritated by those who they consider rivals. That was the case of Aeyshah, may Allah be pleased with her, who started to be jealous of young Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her. Such kind of jealousy Almighty Allah has put in wives for the interests of husbands.
Someone may say: "Had wives of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, acted like dolls (they have no feeling of jealousy), they would not have caused him any trouble." Well Almighty Allah wills that the household of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon, is similar to any other household; it was not trouble-free, because at the end he is human just like all of us. This is what makes the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, the example who we should follow.
Aishah bint Abi Bakr and Hafsah bint Umar, may Allah be pleased with them, are two young wives within the same age group, so they started to compete in winning the heart of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, and share his love.
Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, kept silent being annoyed of such sudden marriage. She was happy that she could be the most beloved wife to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, but she was upset with the new rival. She used to lose her patience sometimes when it was Sawdah's turn to spend the day with the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, and sometimes she did not care much about that matter. However, she became deeply concerned after the Prophet's marriage to Hafsah, thinking about the third that would be lost from the period she used to spend with the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him.
A woman came to our Master Omar and said, "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen! I have never seen a man better then my husband. By Allah, he prays the night and fasts the day." Upon hearing this, Umar praised the woman and supplicated for her, and she shyly departed. Ali then said, "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen! Shouldn't you have considered her accusation against her husband, for she indeed was quite eloquent in her complaint!?" Umar replied, "Why do you not judge between them, for you have understood about her situation that which I did not? Ali said, "Let her husband come here." When the man came, Ka'b told him, "Allah has legislated for you to marry women of your choice, two or three or four. You should dedicate three days to worship Allah and the fourth day to your wife."
The reason behind the intimacy between Aishah and Hafsah:
Aishah's jealousy of Hafsah weakened bit by bit when other women became the wives of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, such as Zaynab, Umm Salamah, Juwayriyyah and Safiyyah.The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, did not marry this number of women to satisfy a certain desire, definitely not. He got married to those women to increase his affection to his companions, to make the hearts of different tribes and parties closer to each other. Hence, his marriage was intended to achieve this noble goal.
Aishah's heart became clear towards Hafsah, and they became close friends. Umar noticed that strange friendship between two fellow wives. He was aware of the extraordinary endearment, cooperation and harmony between them. When he realized that such a friendship was the very result of having more fellow wives and that it was a conspiracy against the other wives, he warned his daughter not to follow Aishah’s lead becasue Aeyshah had a special place in the heart of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, which she could never have.
Our Master Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, knew that Aeyshah, was the most beloved wife to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, and because he was very modest, he never thought of competing As-Siddiq. Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, once told his daughter, "You are not like Aeyshah and your father is not like her father." He meant that if she agreed with her on something or plotted with her against someone, the Prophet might be pleased with Aeyshah, but he might be angry with Hafsah.
Why did Umar rebuke his daughter Hafsah?
Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, became very angry when he heard that his daughter had disputed with the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, so he went to see her. He asked her whether the news was true or false. She replied honestly that it was true, explaining to him what exactly happened. He then raised his voice and rebuked her saying, "O daughter, do not you fear that Allah may get angry for the anger of His Messenger and, thus, you will be ruined? Do not ask Allah's Messenger too many things, and do not retort him in any case. Demand from me whatever you like, and do not be tempted to imitate your neighbor, for she is more beautiful than you, and more beloved to Allah's Messenger than you (he meant Aeyshah.) By Allah I heard that the Prophet intended to divorce you but he did not do that fearing that I may get hurt."
This wife was courageous but never talked impolitely to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him., she was also eloquent and never at a loss for words. She was not afraid of talking back to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. You know that there are no barriers between a husband and his wife; your affection and intimacy to your wife annihilate the barriers. The minute you get out, you are obliged to deal with people in a different way according to their positions and professions. The Prophet, may Allah be pleased with him, is just like everyone of us; he disputed with his wife. Had not he had the characteristics of humans, he would not have been the Master of all humans.
Jabir bin Abdullah Al-Ansari narrates an incident which was related to him by Umm Mubasher. Hafsah and the Prophet, may Allah have his peace and blessings upon him, were sitting and chatting together. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:
((All the people who had given the pledge of allegiance at Hudaybiyah under the tree would go to Paradise insha' Allah, and not to Hell.))
He went one saying, "Does not Almighty Allah say:(Indeed, Allah was pleased with the believers when they gave their Bai'a (pledge) to you (O Muhammad, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him,) under the tree,…)
She replied, "O Allah's Messenger, yes, He does, but how is that possible?" The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, got annoyed, but Hafsah did not give up and quoted an ayah from Surat Maryam:(There is not one of you but will pass over it (Hell).)
In reply he, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, quoted the very next ayah, also from Surat Maryam:
(Then We shall save those who use to fear Allah and were dutiful to Him. And We shall leave the Zalimun (polytheists and wrongdoers, etc.) therein (humbled) to their knees (in Hell).)
It was a very polite discussion between the husband who could never be an unanimated object and his wife. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, told the truth, but she argued quoting the following ayah:(There is not one of you but will pass over it (Hell).)
As you know, passing over Hell is different from entering it. Due to Allah’s Wisdom, every believer will pass through As-Sirat (the Straight Way) on the Day of Judgment, see Hell and pass over it, but he will not be affected even by its flame. By passing over it, his happiness to be in Paradise will be doubled. This is the meaning of the following ayah:(There is not one of you but will pass over it (Hell).)
When Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, heard of this discussion, he chided his daughter considering her behavior an indecent one.
The reason of the revelation of the third ayah in Surat At-Tahrim:
I would like to tell you about the event which caused Hafsah's divorce for one time; she could go back to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. Pay attention to the following ayah, please:
(And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).)
The scholars said, "Whoever fears Allah when he divorces his wife, Allah will make a way for him to get her back." The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, disciplined her and divorced her one time. Her fault was revealing the secret of Allah's Messenger which he disclosed to her.One of the women during the era of Al-Jahiliyyah, gave her daughter a wonderful piece of advice on her wedding day saying, "Never disclose any of his secrets (her husband's secret,) and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you."
The story that was behind the divorce of Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her, goes as follows: The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, wanted to spend the day with Mariyah Al-Qibtiyah, in Hafsah's room, so she grieved a lot and was very upset with her new fellow. Mariyah was sent to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, as a present from Al-Muqauqis, governor of Egypt. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, did not get married to her yet, and when he saw Hafsah's tears, who cried a lot upon his request to stay in her room with Mariyah to marry her, he wanted to please her saying, "Will you be pleased if I make it prohibited for myself to have sexual intercourse with her tonight?" Hafsah replied, "Yes, I will." The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, forbade himself from having sexual intercourse with his wife Mariyah that night, and he said to Hafsah, "You should keep this a secret."
When Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her, saw how beautiful Mariyah was, she cried out of her jealousy. As a result, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, forbade himself from sleeping with Mariyah in order to please Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her. She was very happy, because the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, spent that night with her. In the morning, Hafsah told Aeyshah about the Prophet's secret saying, "I cried before of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, yesterday, so he prevented himself from sleeping with Mariyah only to please me." Consequently, the following ayah was revealed to be guidance and an educating lesson to all women in general and to Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her, in particular. Almighty Allah says:
(And (remember) when the Prophet disclosed a matter in confidence to one of his wives (Hafsah), so when she told it (to another i.e. 'Aishah), and Allah made it known to him, he informed part thereof and left a part. Then when he told her (Hafsah) thereof, she said: "Who told you this?" He said: "The All-Knower, the All-Aware (Allah) has told me".)
Hafsah did not think about the bad consequences of disclosing the Prophet's secret to Aeyshah. It was narrated that the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, divorced her once to make that a lesson for her. Umar was informed about that and he was deeply hurt. He threw the soil on his face- as it was reported- feeling helpless and he said, "O Umar, Allah may not care for you and your daughter after that." Umar considered marrying his daughter to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, a great achievement.As soon as the sun of a new day rose, Jibrael, may Allah have peace upon him, came to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, and said, "Almighty Allah ordered you to have mercy on Umar and get Hafsah back to your household." Umar is endeared to Almighty Allah.
According to another narration Jibrael told the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, "Get Hafsah back, she is an often fasting and worshipping woman, and she will be your wife in Paradise too."
Woman's jealousy is normal; it is part of her human nature just like her feeling cold or hot.
The Prophet's response to such an incident:
Shortly after that incident, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, deserted his wives for one month in order to make that a lesson for them. The news spread that the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, divorced his wives, and none of the companions dared to ask the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, about that. Umar hurried up to his daughter, but when he found her weeping he said, "The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, may divorce you. He did that once and got you back because of me. If he really does that again, then I will never talk to you." This is what was reported in the Biography of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him.
Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, went to the upper room, where the Prophet may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was, and asked a black slave of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, to ask for his permission to see him, and the boy went in and then came out saying, "I mentioned you to him and he remained silent." Umar then went out and came to the Minbar and found a group of people around it and some of them were weeping. He sat with them for some time, but could not endure the situation. So, he requested to the boy, "Will you get the permission for Umar?" He went in and then came out saying, "I mentioned you to him, but he did not reply." Then, he went to Minbar and sat with the people who were sitting by the Minbar, but he could not bear the situation, so he went to the boy again and said, "Will you get the permission for Umar?" He went in and brought the same reply as before.
When Umar was leaving, "behold," he called him saying, "Allah's Messenger has granted you permission." Thus, Umar, entered the Prophet's room, greeted him with the Salam and saw him lying on a mat without any bedding on it, and the mat had left its mark on the body of the Prophet. Umar said, "Have you divorced your wives, O Allah's Messenger?" the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, raised his eyes to him and replied, "No." Umar said, "Allahu Akbar."
The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was honored and respected among his companions even those who are very close to him. Listen what he said about Abu Bakr and Umar:
((Abu Bakr and Umar are to me just like the hearing and sight in the head.))
However, no one dared to ask him what happened.
Umar was very happy when the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, told him that he did not divorce his wives and he went on saying, "O Allah's Messenger! We, the people of Quraysh used to have the upper hand over our women. But when we came to Al-Madeenah, we found a people whose women had the upper hand over them. Our women started learning this behavior from them. Once, I got angry with my wife, and she talked back to me. I disliked that behavior from her and she said, 'Why do you dislike that I talk back to you By Allah, the Prophet's wives talk back to him and one of them would ignore him the whole day, until the night.' I said to her, 'Whoever does this among them is the ruined loser! Does she feel safe from Allah getting angry with her on account of His Messenger's anger in that case, she would be ruined.' " On that the Prophet smiled.
Umar then said, "O Allah's Messenger! I went to Hafsah and said to her, 'Do not be tempted to imitate your companion (Aeyshah) for she is more beautiful than you and more beloved to the Prophet.' " The Prophet smiled again. When he saw him smiling, Umar said, "Does the Messenger feel calm?" The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said, "Yes." So, Umar sat down and cast a glance at the room, and he couldn't see anything of importance, except three hides."
The house of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was nearly empty. I am not exaggerating if I say that it was about 1X2 meters (note to the translator: you can say 2 square meters or you say 1 * 2 meters ) and there was no bedding in it.
Once our Master Udai, may Allah be pleased with him, entered the house of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, he said, "The Prophet gave me a leather fiber-stuffed cushion, and then he said, 'Sit on it,' I said, 'No, you sit on it.' Then, he, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said, 'No, you sit on it.' I sat on it and the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him sat on the ground."
He said, "Invoke Allah, O Allah's Messenger, to make your followers prosperous, for the Persians and the Byzantines have been made prosperous and given worldly luxuries, even though they do not worship Allah." The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, sat upright and said, "O Ibn Al-Khattab! Do you have any doubt? These people have been given rewards of their good deeds in this world only." In another narration the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said, "What I have been given is Prophecy and not ownership." Also, in another narration, "Will you not be pleased if they are given the Worldly life, whereas we are given the Hereafter?"
Umar then asked the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, "Please beg Allah's forgiveness for me, O Allah's Messenger."
Notice how intimate that conversation was between the Prophet, may Allah have pace and blessings upon him, and our Master Umar, may Allah be pleased with him.
The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, swore that he would not go to his wives for one month, because of his severe anger towards them, until Almighty Allah blames Hafsah and Aeyshah, may Allah be pleased with them, in the following ayah:
(If you two (wives of the Prophet, namely 'Aishah and Hafsah) turn in repentance to Allah, (it will be better for you), your hearts are indeed so inclined (to oppose what the Prophet likes),…)
(but if you help one another against him (Muhammad), then verily, Allah is his Maula (Lord, or Master, or Protector, etc.), and Jibrael (Gabriel), and the righteous among the believers, and furthermore, the angels are his helpers.)
This ayah has a profound meaning; whoever plots against this religion will definitely be defeated. Now listen to the following ayah:(It may be if he divorced you (all) that his Lord will give him instead of you, wives better than you, Muslims (who submit to Allah), believers, obedient to Allah, turning to Allah in repentance, worshipping Allah sincerely, fasting or emigrants (for Allah's sake), previously married and virgins.)
The moral lesson of the above mentioned story:
The moral lesson of the aforementioned story is; what happened in the household of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, can happen in any household of the believers. The reactions of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings were perfect; he was strict, lenient, merciful, affectionate and wise in treating his wives, who competed honestly with each other as they had the feminine nature of any female. This is what we should learn from the household of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him. O Allah benefit us from what you have taught us and inspire us to do all what is good.
