Introduction:

Interviewer:

 We thank Dr Nabulsi for his kind attendance and hope to discuss with him directly the issues which are so important for Muslims in general and for Muslim women in particular. The final part of our meeting will be devoted to answering any questions that may arise. We give Dr Nabulsi a warm welcome and hope his stay will be pleasant, if Allah wills.

Dr Nabulsi:

 May Allah bless you and bring about good through you.

Interviewer:

 Women, in general, have special rights, but Islam in particular has abundantly bestowed on them. Could you, please, give us some idea about the extent to which a Muslim woman has been given more than other women?

A woman is first and foremost a human being:

Dr Nabulsi:

 In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent and the Merciful; praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad and grant him peace as well as his family, and his pure and kind companions, who answered his call faithfully and were the bearers of his banners. Be pleased with them and us, O Lord of all the Worlds!

 First of all, before Muslim woman can be considered as such, she should be seen as a human being, and a human being is the topmost creature in the universe. The evidence is to be found in the ayah below:

((Truly, We did offer Al-Amanah (the trust or moral responsibility or honesty and all the duties which Allah has ordained) to the heavens and the earth, and the mountains, but they declined to bear it and were afraid of it (i.e. afraid of Allah's Torment). But man bore it. ))

[Al-Ahzab 33:72]

 Mankind, both male and female, bore the Trust. Thus, given that one is a member of the human race, one is the topmost creature in the universe, and if man recognizes himself as such, he will get to know his Lord. Furthermore, man is the foremost creature because he has been created for Paradise and the biggest and the most devastating mistake a woman can make is to work for the worldly life only and to forget the Hereafter. Sometimes, she satisfies her husband by disobeying Allah, thinking that her behavior is good.
 The first thing which I hope to make absolutely clear is that woman is religiously independent from her husband, in the sense that Allah forbids her husband to ever command her to commit wrongdoing:

((There is no obedience to a creature if it leads to disobedience to the Creator.))

[Al-Tabarani and Imam Ahmad from I’mran Ibn Husain and Al-Hakam Ibn A’mr Al-Ghifari]

No creature should be obeyed in disobedience to the Creator:

((And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of Fir'aun (Pharaoh), ))

[Al-Tahrim 66:11]

 She married one of the earth's most powerful men, who claimed to be a deity:

"I am your Lord, most high",

[An-Nazi’aat 79:24]

((I know not that you have an ilah (a god) other than me,))

[Al-Qasas 28:38]

((She said: "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun (Pharaoh) and his work, and save me from the people who are Zalimun (polytheists, wrong-doers and disbelievers in Allah).)

[Al-Tahrim 66:11]

 Allah is giving us here a compelling example of a woman who, being the wife of a man who claimed to be a deity, attained the highest degree of faith and refused to obey his commands. Of course, I assume that most of your wives are loyal, if Allah wills, but if any one of them is ever ordered, Allah forbid, to do anything that can be considered disobedience to Allah, she must say:

((There is no obedience to a creature if it leads to disobedience to the Creator.))

[Al-Tabarani and Imam Ahmad from I’mran Ibn Husain and Al-Hakam Ibn A’mr Al-Ghifari]

 I have reasons to say this. Women mostly commit sins on the grounds that their husbands want that, and assume that their husbands will be called to account instead of them. This attitude is absolutely unacceptable:

((There is no obedience to a creature if it leads to disobedience to the Creator.))

[Al-Tabarani and Imam Ahmad from I’mran Ibn Husain and Al-Hakam Ibn A’mr Al-Ghifari]

 It has been my modest experience to have met hundreds of men who had been guided to Allah and been made to approach Him by their wives. It happens when the wife has an Islamic stance; and when she refuses to disobey Allah in order to satisfy her husband, she may earn the reward for having been the means of her husband's guidance.

Interviewer:

 Sometimes, women come to feel some sort of insufficiency and western media have helped this idea to take root through the issue of women's emancipation, as if women were in prison and wanted to be set free! Injustice is precisely one of the things that women suffer from in our time since their responsibility lies within their households, and the successful woman is the one who enjoys a prominent social status. What is your point of view with respect to this subject? How could woman be induced to believe that her house is her happiness, if the expression is right?

Woman has been granted special qualities that suite her task:

Dr Nabulsi:

 We had a psychology professor at university who was one of the five most important scientists in his field. He said something that I shall never forget: “When woman competes with man, she loses two things: the race and her femininity.”
 In point of fact you, as a female, have been given by Allah Most High special intellectual, psychological, social and moral qualities, which ensure your absolute perfection for the task that you have been entrusted with. Let me give you the following example: Suppose, I have been requested to transport fifty people from one place to another in a large first-class coach, in which, below the passenger cabin, there is a luggage locker. Thus, the biggest space in this vehicle is for passengers. However, when I am supposed to transport five tons of wood, I need a truck, in which the largest space will be destined for the goods and only a very small area for the driver and his assistant. Is the former better than the latter? Does it matter? One vehicle has been designed for passengers and the other one for goods. Therefore, given that a woman should be thought of as a human being, greatly honored by Allah Most High, and given that a human being is considered the foremost creature, it is a big mistake to think about man and woman in terms of which of the two is better.

((And indeed We have honored the Children of Adam, ))

[Al-Israa, 17:70]

 Woman has been created for a momentous task. If she has fulfilled it, she will have achieved her Lord's pleasure through her female identity. Let’s have another example. If the main characteristic of a man is his wealth, his first act of worship should be spending it. It means that Allah has made him rich in order to get closer to Him through spending his money. If it is strength, his first act of worship will be implementing what is right and eliminating what is wrong because Allah has made him strong only to be able to get closer to Him through his strength. If, in yet another case, it is knowledge, his main purpose should to be teaching it, because Allah has made him a scholar in order to educate people. And we say to you, O woman, that your great task is to take care of your husband and children, the task for which Allah has created you. Therefore, listen to this hadith, which should be put up in a conspicuous place in every house. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:

((You should know, O woman, and should tell those women who come after you, that when a woman is doing well in her marital affairs, this equals to jihad (fighting) for the sake of Allah.))

[reported as tradition]

 What is jihad? It is the topmost deed and the highest act in the Deen of Islam, and proper conduct of woman's marital affairs equals to jihad for the sake of Allah.

Allah has created msh3er for the task of education:

 When woman educates her children –teaches them to be honest, modest, integral, moral, obedient to Allah, careful abut their salah, voluntary night prayer (qiyam), and memorization of the Qur'an, she will enter Paradise, if Allah wills.
 I have been teaching for thirty-three years. When I come across a young man who is, firstly, trustworthy and courteous, and, then, neatly dressed, by Allah, I immediately feel justified in assuming that he has a great mother.
 Allah has created msh3er for the task of education, and education is something highly significant. When the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, conquered Mecca, he was invited to stay at the most luxurious homes in that city, but he asked for his tent to be put up near Khadija's tomb, who had been dead long since, to make the whole world know that the woman lying in this grave was a partner in his victory.
 The Qur'an and ahadith affirm that woman, from the perspective and the point of view of Islam, enjoys the highest possible status, and that the contrary can be said about the pre-Islamic epoch. Allah the Greatest says:

((And do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance,))

[Al-Ahzab, 33:33]

 It is also a reference to the era of ignorance which we are living now. Therefore, the most important thing is woman's status, the mission of woman and her vocation, and those should be separated from the run-of-the-mill concepts derived from life's ups and downs. For example:

((She said: "O my Lord! I have delivered a female child,"))

[Aal-I’mran 3:36]

 What did Allah answer her?

((And Allah knew better what she delivered, - "And the male is not like the female, and I have named her Maryam (Mary),))

[Aal-I’mran 3:36]

 It means that Allah the Almighty knew that this woman, Saiydah Maryam, would deliver a great prophet, and that she would be rewarded for all the good deeds of that prophet.

Status of woman who has educated her children righteously:

 I would like to point out to you something accurate. If somebody has brought up a son of his to be a scholar, or somebody who calls to Allah, or a renowned doctor, a social benefactor, or somebody who has been successful, he will be rewarded for all the good deeds and the success of this son.
 In this agreeable meeting of ours, generous sisters, I would like to transmit to you that you will be given a large portion in the Afterlife if you have achieved the goal of your existence. Woman's role is always a big one, whether she is a daughter, a sister, a wife, or a mother. I often say that when you educate a young man, you educate only one person, but when you educate a girl, you educate a whole family; and the main thing is that the woman who has been entrusted with her children's education enjoys the highest station, and the evidence is in the following:
“When my husband married me, I was young, had numerous relatives and great wealth. Since then, I have delivered children and grown old; my family dispersed and my wealth is gone. My husband said he wanted to divorce me. He is the father of my children, and if I leave them, they will go astray; and if I take them in custody, they will starve.”
 It means that the role of the mother is to educate and the role of the father is to spend. Therefore, each woman should know that through educating her children properly and giving the society five scholars, five men who call to Allah, five specialists, or five righteous citizens, she will be able to reach the highest rank in Paradise. When I see a superior child, I certainly think that the reason behind his superiority is a great mother; as the well-known saying goes: “Behind every great man there is a great woman.”

Woman should worship Allah through the task she has been entrusted with:

 

 Allow me to tell you a parable by way of an answer to this important question. A certain woman loved Allah so much and was so overwhelmed by her love for Him that she would wake up at two in the morning in order to perform salat al-qiyam (voluntary night prayer) and offer twenty rak'ahs, while her tears, as abundant as her love for Allah, flooded the floor where she was praying. At six o’clock in the morning, she was absolutely exhausted, so she would go to sleep, telling her five children to get ready for school by themselves. One of them took something from the fridge, the other put his sandwich directly into his schoolbag, soiling thus all his books, and a third put on very dirty shoes; all of them were punished accordingly at school.
 Let me tell you this: If she had woken up half an hour before sunrise, performed dawn prayer, made the room warm, prepared breakfast for her children, made sandwiches for them, checked their homework, and taken care of them until the time for school arrived, it would have placed her closer to Allah because she would have worshiped Him through the task she has been entrusted with –the task of being a mother, who, by looking after her children, demonstrates that she is a servant of Allah's. Of course, I am far from underestimating the value of salah al-qiyam, I seek refuge in Allah. This is the salah of the highest degree. However, it is a fact that these days, in Damascus and out of Damascus, we come across a new style of women who call to Allah. They neglect their husbands and they neglect their children; they have no time because they have become great women who call to Allah. Yet, women should worship Allah through the task they have been entrusted with and Allah has assigned to them the task of righteous wives, who can reach to the highest degree in Paradise. Needless to say, if everyone overlooked the tasks entrusted to them, everything would go awry.

 Imagine I enter the masjid and find a heart doctor delivering a religious speech there, when, obviously, he should be at his hospital, the fact which leads to the death of the patient he is in charge of. Allah has entrusted to this doctor the job at the hospital and another person should be at the masjid; roles mustn't be swapped.
 You can, O woman, reach the highest degree in Paradise by being a righteous wife and a righteous mother, and here is the evidence –by the way, Islam is based on evidence; so, do not accept anything without it:

((You should know, O woman, and should tell those women who come after you, that when a woman is doing well in her marital affairs, this equals to jihad (fighting) for the sake of Allah.))

[Reported as tradition]

 The religious evidence which confirms the importance of good education is indeed copious, and I shall mention some of it in the course of this meeting, if Allah wills.

Interviewer:

 Women in Muslim countries are tired; actually, they make double effort, and will bear additional burden if they have children. Would you please comment on some norms which regulate women's work, especially if they are married?

Norms regulating women's work:

Dr Nabulsi:

 

 Allah the Almighty has entrusted the human being with a task, so that any act that may hinder them from completing it is wrong. It is not a problem when a woman whose daughters and sons have got married returns to her studies since she may have five or six hours to spare, her husband being an employee, for example. In fact, she may be able to carry out the kind of work by which she is able to approach Allah. It is, by contrast, a big problem when she neglects her children for the sake of her job because by seeking another job she neglects the one for which she has been created.
 There is a very subtle point here worth mentioning. Sometimes, we compete in calling to Allah, I am all for calling to Allah; but when a woman performs her duty with respect to her family, and is a good wife and a righteous mother, in this case, she worships her Lord through the task she has been entrusted with. Now, if she has some time to spare, she can carry out the call to Allah. In Damascus, the reality is rather painful, and many a woman busies herself with the call to Allah and neglects her family. Sometimes, she goes out alone at midnight and comes back at two o'clock in the morning on the pretext of a meeting with her sisters in the call to Allah. This is a big problem because she is a wife and a mother in the first place; and this is the task for which she has been created.

Interviewer:

 Dr Nabulsi, let us turn to the topic of hijab. This matter, in our opinion, has become confusing for women, and also for men. Some of them think that hijab is merely putting a cover on woman’s head. To begin with, what is the real concept of hijab as mentioned in the Qur'an and the sunnah?

Hijab should be something real:

Dr Nabulsi:

 

 Sometimes, women wear tight clothes which reveal their bodies almost completely and at the same time wear a piece of cloth on their heads! It is not hijab at all. Hijab, in order to be something real, should comprise the following aspects:
 First of all, woman's clothes should not be transparent so that nothing of what is worn underneath gets exposed. Secondly, they should be ample. Thirdly, the colors should not be bright so as to avoid their being striking.
 Furthermore, hijab should be dark and thick, hiding woman's beauty, because Allah has created woman as a beloved creature.
 I will try to give you an example and I ask Allah to be precise. We have a public means of transport and a privately owned car. The door of the former is opened about two hundred times a day, while the door of the latter only twice or three times a day; and so the faithful woman is only for her husband and her children, she is not for public use. Many religiously unstable women, unfortunately, take care of their looks only when they have a party or celebration, and neglect their appearance at home. This is a big mistake! Woman has been commissioned by Allah to make her husband chaste, through taking care of her looks, her clothes, her elegance, and she must also take care of her health. By Allah, it is her worship and Paradise will be her reward.

Interviewer:

 Dr Nabulsi, if a woman who wears hijab exposes herself, would she be within the threat which the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, has mentioned?

A woman who wears hijab and exposes herself is not covered:

Dr Nabulsi:

 Any woman who reveals her charms is not covered, but rather separated from Allah because the beauty which she has been granted by Allah is only for her husband and certain male relatives; it cannot be within every man's reach. You should know that she is your fate, so bear her. But if your wife has deviated and has persisted in deviation, you should dispose of her. Therefore, the invocation of a man who has a bad wife and does not divorce her is not accepted. The husband who has a bad wife, the one who seeks mixed company and reveals her charms to sh3er, will be guilty if he keeps her as wife.
 The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “The invocation of the man who has a bad wife and does not divorce her is not accepted.”
 Thus, Allah the Almighty has provided divorce as the solution.

Interviewer:

 Some msh3er say: My daughter is just a little girl! Does the delay in wearing hijab lead to unacceptable behaviour?

Never put off wearing hijab:

Dr Nabulsi:

 I do not understand why msh3er keep seeing their daughters as little girls! There is a problem, indeed. She might be "little" but at the same time physically developed and her attractiveness may have manifested itself. The important point here is her attractiveness.

Interviewer:

 It is a common enough situation that msh3er' hijab is something well-established but girls never wear it before they get married.

Delay in wearing hijab is a result of weakness in tawheed:

Dr Nabulsi:

 Delay in wearing hijab is a result of weakness in tawheed. Girls get the wrong idea, perhaps through the influence of their environment, that the more they reveal their beauty, the more desirable they become. It is a big mistake from the perspective of faith. As long as a girl hides her attractions from sh3er Allah Most High will provide a remarkable, straight and generous husband for her, and such a husband is the biggest reward for a chaste girl; indeed, he is priceless.
 Sometimes, you hear of a husband, nice and kind as a fiancé, who makes his wife lose her senses because he seems to have turned a monster after the wedding. However, if the wife had been straight before marriage, Allah would have prepared a righteous husband for her, on the basis of the Allah's Words:

((And good people for good statements (or good men for good women),))

[An-Nour 24:26]

Interviewer:

 The women who wear hijab attract attention; yet, there are certain phenomena that require comment. Sometimes, covered women go to cafeterias and pavement cafés, and sometimes they drive recklessly.

Women have characteristics to live in happiness with her husband:

Dr Nabulsi:

 When woman tries to confirm that she is equal to man as regards attitudes, she follows his example. Hence, she begins to imitate men:

((He cursed women who imitate men.))

[Sunan Ibn Majah, on the authority of Ibn Abbas]

 When women imitate men, they lose the most beautiful things –their femininity, shame and modesty. These wonderful characteristics have been given to women by Allah so that they can live happily with their husbands. Woman should not be aggressive because she is a different and integral type, and it is a big mistake for a woman to understand the meaning of equality as being like man in everything, when each of them has a different entity and each has characteristics related to the task they have been entrusted with:

((He cursed women who imitate men.))

[Sunan Ibn Majah, on the authority of Ibn Abbas]

 And by the same token:

((He cursed men who imitate women.))

[Sunan Ibn Majah, on the authority of Ibn Abbas]

 Tight clothes and smoothness... Can men accept such characteristics? We want to act according to the identity that Allah has given to each of us; otherwise, we will run into problems; and the texts of the Qur'an and the sunnah assure that it is a serious issue.

Interviewer:

 Let us turn now to matters related to divorce; prohibiting the father to see his children and waiting for months until the pronouncement of the verdict. Women, generally speaking, intend to receive fifty percent of their husband's property, refusing to accept the Law of Islam. What advice can be offered here?

Women submit to the secular law when they do not accept the Law of Allah:

Dr Nabulsi:

 

 Woman will submit to the secular law if she does not accept the Law of Allah. In some countries, the secular law establishes that a divorced woman takes fifty or even seventy percent of her husband’s wealth as well as the custody of children. So much for the secular law; but according to the Divine Law, she takes the dower as a whole and the expenses. What would you think of a man who rejects the Law of Allah? You may say that he has disbelieved in Allah's Law; but when death comes, women who have acted against the Deen of Islam will be severely punished.
 I said once to an unjust man that Allah can try man with serious diseases, such as cancer, kidney failure or paralysis. By Allah, my generous sisters, when I say "Allah is the Greatest", I feel the grandeur of this word! If a woman has tyrannized her husband or acted unjustly to bother him, Allah the Greatest, will take His revenge on her. Somebody who does not fear Allah is a fool; the wise person is always in fear of Allah.

Choosing a husband is one of the most serious matters:

 Some people say: “Marry and do not divorce.” This means: Choose well and try to marry a woman you will not have to divorce; and you, O girl, try to find a man who will never obligate you to ask for a divorce; look in him for good manners, religion, and you will be the big winner; when you look in him for good looks and wealth, your life with him will be unstable.

 Once, while walking in one of the markets in Damascus, a trader called me and said to me: “A young man asked my daughter in marriage; he is very handsome, he owns a plastics factory, a house in one of the best neighborhoods in Damascus, and a luxurious car, and his father is a top trader as well!” They got married. More or less two months later this man took his wife to one of the Damascene resorts, where some disagreement occurred between them, so he simply divorced her and left her alone at the resort.
 You are in for trouble when you look for a rich man; you should look for a faithful one. It has been said: “Try to marry your daughter to a believing man, because if he loves her, he will honor her, and if he doesn't- Allah forbid- he will never abuse her." So, choosing a husband is something really serious; therefore, look for a religious man, sisters.

Interviewer:

 Is there any advice as regards obedience to a husband?

 No obedience is due to the one who asks to commit wrongdoing:

Dr Nabulsi:

 There is no such thing as absolute obedience, and the evidence is in the hadith of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace:

((The Prophet sent an army unit (for some campaign) and appointed a man from the Ansar as its commander and ordered them (the fighters) to obey him. (During the campaign) he became angry with them and said, “Didn’t the Prophet order you to obey me?” They said, “Yes.” He said, “I order you to collect wood and make a fire and then throw yourselves into it.” So they collected wood and made a fire, but when they were about to throw themselves into it….The event was mentioned to the Prophet and he said, “If they had entered it (the fire), they would never have come out of it, for obedience is required only in what is good.”

[Agreed upon]

 Allah the Almighty says:

((And that they will not disobey you in any Ma'ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that which Islam ordains))

[Al-Mumtahinah 60:12]

 Thus, no absolute obedience is due to a husband. When he asks his wife to commit a sin, she must never obey him. In the fact that a woman is completely independent from her husband in matters of her deen lies the greatness of the Deen of Islam.:

((And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of Fir'aun (Pharaoh), She said: "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun (Pharaoh) and his work, and save me from the people who are Zalimun (polytheists, wrong-doers and disbelievers in Allah).))

[Al-Tahrim 66:11]

 In brief, there is no obedience to a creature if it leads to disobedience to the Creator.
 Once, a generous sister has told me that her husband wanted to take her to Lattakia and to swim where other men swam. He said to her, “If you don't wear a swimming suit and swim, I shall divorce you!” I said to her, “Let him divorce you.” But he did not. The believing woman is someone great in the Sight of Allah the Almighty. She is compliant, but the husband should never induce her to wrongdoing; he should never command her to sit with his friends, because there is no obedience to a creature if it leads to disobedience to the Creator.

Interviewer:

 Women these days fill their time with paying visits, watching movies, or surfing the internet. Should a Muslim woman have a schedule in her life or can she do whatever she wants when she has fulfilled her duties?

Each woman should call to Allah as much as she knows:

Dr Nabulsi:

 By Allah, I wish you, O sisters, all the best; you have to be interested in knowledge, to study a topic, to write, or even to discuss a case. What kind of conversation is it that takes place when you meet? It must not be a vain conversation, because human beings (whether male or female) have a great goal set before them. When any of the generous sisters searches the internet for religious information, or attends a religious session, and then discusses a Quranic ayah or a religious topic with other sisters, she will feel the happiness of the call to Allah, and her main goal will be transmission of what is right. Each one of you should call to Allah everybody she knows, as much as she knows, through the explanation of some easy ayahs to each other, or telling what she has heard in the session. It is a fact that when a Muslim woman enters the world of knowledge, she can attain a very high level in the Sight of Allah, and I can say from my modest experience that a well-educated woman, who implements what she has learnt, is the greatest among women:

((By Allah, if one man is guided to the right path (that is, to Islam) through you, it will be better for you than (a great number of) red camels.))

[Accepted by narrators from ‘Sahl Ibn Sa’d al-Sa’idi’]

 O my sister! If Allah the Almighty has allowed you to guide a sister to the right path, to urge a woman to wear hijab, to save a woman or to serve a woman, it would be a great deed, but first of all, you should perform your home duties, such as cleaning, cooking, and caring for your family. Then, in your free-time, it is possible to arrange for a weekly appointment, for example, to teach some girls the Qur'an.

 I was invited once to a conference in Jeddah. Of course, the women who attended the conference sat separately, together with my wife, because there is no mixing between men and women; and one of them asked me the following question through the loudspeaker, “How is the relationship between you and your wife?” I said, “I am the worst of husbands!” –because I have no time for my wife except in one case –to make her a woman who calls to Allah.

Questions and Answers:

Responsibility towards the first wife:

 Q: My husband has cancer, and he has a wife and two daughters in Syria, and I just can't bring them to Australia to see their father before he dies, but I have the pricks of conscience on that score. Am I guilty?
 A: Allah bless you! It is good that you are concerned about your husband seeing his first wife who lives in Syria before he dies. It is a sign of kindness, but you cannot do anything.
To be helpful and good to your kin:

 Q: I know a mother who has three daughters, all of whom married without parental consent; she does not see them or talk to them. Is this haram?

 A: Yes, It is.

A woman should never marry a man who does not perform salah:

 Q: How could a wife convince her husband or urge him to perform salah?

 A: The only thing she can do is to remind him about it constantly, but the main problem is that she shouldn't have married a man who was not praying.

Women's clothes:

 Q: Is it permissible for a woman to wear pants? Is it permissible for her to show her feet?

 A: As regards women’s wear, it is not permissible to wear tight, transparent, bright-colored clothes before men unlawful for them, because tight clothes reveal their body lines, bright colors draw attention and transparent clothes expose what is under them. The right hijab is wide and non-transparent, the one that does not draw people's attention.

Investigating the Deen of the man who proposes:

 Q: Should I investigate the Deen of the man who asks me in marriage?

  A: You should investigate it carefully.
 Sometimes, the wife or the husband acts a role during the period of engagement, but the problem is that after marriage, things become vice versa, and what results is a big surprise. This is a personal opinion; if the two families have known each other for years, as when they are neighbors, or if there is kinship, there will never be a surprise; but if the first acquaintance between the two families is at the time of marriage, at first, the talk will be wonderful and after marriage things may get reversed.
 So, you need to investigate carefully, and the marriage contract is not an easy thing.

It is forbidden for a woman to wear pants without wearing an overcoat:

 Q: I always wear trousers; what am I do?

 A: If you wear hijab, it is absolutely forbidden to wear tight trousers without wearing a coat.

A stingy husband:

 Q: What can be said about a stingy husband?

 A: The best characteristic in man is generosity.

Allah compensates you if you leave something for His Sake:

 Q: What can be said about somebody who wants to get a house in an illicit way?

 A: I say that he should think about the future. What will he do when the hour of death has come? Is he prepared to leave this worldly life with so big a sin?
 By Allah, apart from Whom there is no other god, if a man has avoided haram, Allah will compensate him manifold:

((If a worshiper has left something for the sake of Allah, He will compensate him with the best in his deen and life.))

[Al-Jamee Al-Sageer, on the authority of Ibn Umar]

 And there is no doubt about it.

It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim:

 Q: Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to marry non-Muslim?

 A: It is not permissible.

Stay away from what causes problems:

 Q: What would you say about a husband who never respects his wife and says bad words to her?

 A: There is a way to avoid his anger; to find out what he does not like, and what satisfies him, to keep away from any act that bsh3er him. So, if she wants to avoid his bad words, she should stay away from the causes.

Ruling on mixed company weddings:

 Q: What is the legal ruling on mixed company weddings?

 A: I can't imagine, forgive me the harsh word, that a believing woman should wear her beautiful wedding dress in the presence of men who may later talk about her attractions. The wedding should be without men's presence, and I hope you will refrain from attending a mixed company wedding so that the one who has invited you can realize his great mistake; and if there is kinship, send a gift and apologize.

The second wife:

 Q: What can you say about the second wife?

 A: A man had a wife who was beautiful, perfect, well-educated, rich, and whose family background was excellent. However, he wished to marry a second wife. What did he say to his first wife? He claimed that the governor had ordered each man to marry a second wife, or he would execute them! But his wife said: “If you die, you will be a martyr!”

Hijab:

 Q: What can you say about a fifty-year-old woman who does not wear hijab in the presence of her husband’s nephews?

 A: The topic of hijab is a legitimate topic confirmed in ayaat and ahadith of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. The woman who claims that on account of her being fifty years old no one will desire her is wrong, she might be sixty years old and someone might desire her. The issue here is not that of the age; hijab is a Divine command; and this is why we can emit a clear fatwa (a legal ruling).

Legal ruling on a girl's refusal of a religious young man:

 Q: What is the legal ruling on a girl who has refused to marry a religious young man?

 A: There is no problem here. If she has refused to marry him, marriage contract cannot be carried out. Is there a greater right for a woman than this?
 Q: What about the hadith:

((If a man, with whose his deen and conduct you are pleased, has asked you in marriage, accept his request…))

[Al-Tirmithi and Ibn Majah, on the authority of Abu Huraira]

  A: If the girl refuses to marry on her wedding day, the marriage contract should be canceled, and marriage will not be completed until the judge asks the bride whether she consents or not; and the same goes for the dowry, which is the biggest right for a woman. In general, it is not reasonable for a father to choose a bad man for his daughter's husband, because she is something precious to him. If the man is not good, he should refuse.

Doing well in marital affairs, equals jihad (fighting) for the sake of Allah:

 

 Q: Would you please comment on the hadith:

((Verily, when a woman is doing well in her marital affairs, that equals to jihad (fighting) for the sake of Allah.))

[Repoted as tradition]

 A: By Allah, it’s something great!

((Verily, when a woman is doing well in her marital affairs, that equals to jihad (fighting) for the sake of Allah.))

[Repoted as tradition]

 The reward of a woman who has taken care of her husband and obeyed him will be equal to the reward of those who go to fight the enemy and face the burdens it entails:

((Verily, when a woman is doing well in her marital affairs, that equals to jihad (fighting) for the sake of Allah.))

[Repoted as tradition]

 I know a man who does not miss salat al-qiyam (night prayer), because of his wife who wakes him up.

Righteous deed is the way to avoid boredom and despair:

 Q: I feel sad and bored with my life; no one visits me and I fulfill my duties towards my family. Am I supposed to do something?

 A: Frankly, my sisters, many of you live routine life; you eat, drink, sleep, and although you perform salah and wear hijab, forgive my saying that, you are not the beloved of Allah. You should have an aim in your life or you’ll never have a righteous deed to be rewarded for in the Hereafter, such as having persuaded a woman to wear hijab, or having reconciled a wife with her husband. A righteous deed is the happiness of a human being, and without it, life will be boring.

The colors of clothes:

 Q: What colour clothes should women wear?

 A: In our countries, the color should be black, and there is no problem with dark brown or gray, but bright colors are forbidden because they draw attention. What is the evidence?

'It is a yellow cow, bright in its color, pleasing to the beholders.'

[Al-Baqarah 2:69]

How to establish the salah of children:

 Q: Is there any way to establish the prayer of children?

 A: The best way is for parents to perform salah before their children. As long as there are salah, the Qur'an, and politeness, sins will never be committed, because that is the best line of education.

Woman should be patient and seek the reward from Allah:

 Q: A woman mistreats her husband because he has married a second wife and neglects her. Is he punished for that?

 A: I know a very virtuous woman in Damascus whose husband, who loved her dearly, got married again, but he didn’t tell her about it. However, she found it out but kept it a secret. The husband died, and she went to the other wife in order to give her her part of the inheritance, but the second wife told her that he had divorced her two days before his death.

How to connect with Dr Muhammad Rateb Nabulsi:

 Q: Is there a possibility of getting in touch with you?

 A: By the grace of Allah, I have an internet site, which is one of the first; we register a million visitors per day; between 800 and 900 files are daily downloaded. You will find there legal opinions, ahadith, and jurisprudence. This is where we can get in touch, because everything written on this site reaches me at nabulsi.com.

Conclusion:

 On behalf of all of you, we thank Dr Muhammad Rateb Nabulsi for this lecture.