Hadith- Hadith Explanation- Ahmadi Mosque - Lesson (06-119): Family Cohesion: The basic support of cohesion in an Islamic family

1996-03-03

A phenomenon raised by all authentic Hadith books:

 O brother; the more cohesive the family members are, the stronger their belief is.
 It has been mentioned in many of the authentic Hadiths that highlighted this phenomenon.
 Weak family bond is an evidence of a weak faith and vice versa.
 When affection becomes less, a person tends to be more selfish and cares more about his/her own interests; this will weaken one's faith.

“The narration of Imam Al-Bukhari by Abi Hurraira that The Prophet PBUH, may peace be upon him, kissed Al-Hasan the son of Ali while Al-Aqra'a Bin Habes Altaimi was visiting him.
Al-Aqra'a said: I have ten kids and I have never kissed anyone of them, then the Prophet PBUH looked at him and said: Those who are not merciful will not have the mercy (of Allah).”

 A child needs the tenderness of his/her parents much more than the milk that was being fed to by his mother. When a child feels affection and tenderness in the house, he/she sticks to the house; but when cruelty and negligence is all he/she gets, then friends are what he/she will resort to. So he/she will be influenced by them and sometimes maybe deviated.
 O brother; a house should be paradise, not in terms of size or luxury, for it may be as such socially speaking.

Those who are not merciful will not have the mercy:

 The Authentic Qudsi (sacred) Hadith says:

“If you are asking for my mercy then you ought to have mercy on my creation.”

 Well the most who are worthy of your mercy are your children. I.e. a believer lives for his/her children.
 That is what the prophet had taught us:

“Omar Bin Abed Al-Aziz –may Allah have mercy on his soul-said:
A righteous woman named Khawla bint Al-Hakim said:
One day the Prophet PBUH went out holding one of his grandchildren saying:
You do wrong things, you save money for having children.”

[Documented by Al-Termithi]

 Before one has any baby, he spends money aimlessly, sometimes doing the wrong things.
 However when he has children, his spending and his behavior become under control for the sake of his own children.
 A person may miss a lesson of knowledge because of his work or in order to raise his kids.
 Therefore the Prophet PBUH taught us to look after our kids, how to be merciful with them and love them.
 Our master Abu Bakr Al-Sedik visited his daughter who had a fever.
 He kissed her and said: how are you holding up my little child?

Pay attention:

 I assure you once again, the more faithful you become, the more these feelings and affection are felt; the house becomes paradise.
 Any father can make his house a paradise through his passion, through being playful with his kids, through taking the best care of their food, their cloths, being warm and their study.
A father must live for his children, for being such, is a good deed according to Allah.

The prophet’s mercy with animals:

 The Prophet PBUH, peace be upon him, is even going further.
 “The Prophet PBUH went to a place once. A man went to a grove and took out an egg of a bird.
 Then the bird came hovering over the Prophet PBUH's and the companions' heads.
 He said: Who caused this bird to bereaved?
 The man said: I took an egg.
 The Prophet PBUH said: Be merciful and return the egg to it.
 He (the Prophet PBUH) did not even want the bird to be parted with its own eggs.
 You may say that the connection with Allah can be felt by how much mercy one's heart has.
 In a Qudsi Hadith it is said:

“Those who are not merciful shall not have the mercy.
If you want to have my mercy, have mercy on my creatures.”

 Allah did not just say have mercy on people, but on His creatures.
 Family is the foundation of a society, So if it is cohesive, society shall become solid.
 You may find a family with a low income that has the cheapest food, the smallest house with a rough furniture; however, love and mercy bonds it together.
 There is nothing more beautiful than two old parents that are surrounded with their kids being at their disposal in such an unusual way.

See the mother’s mercy with her child!

”The Prophet PBUH was walking with some of his companions, then a mother was petrified that her son may get injured while he was on the street.
So she took him with her.
A man said to the Prophet PBUH:
O messenger of Allah, this mother would not ever throw her kid in hell fire.”

 For, they saw how she rushed out to protect him from being (accidentally) injured by one of the Prophet PBUH's companions. Is it wrong?
 The Prophet PBUH said: By Allah, He will never throw His beloved ones in hell fire.
 Where did the mother get this mercy? It is from Allah exalted He is.

“In another narration: The Prophet PBUH was with his companions, he saw a mother baking bread.
So whenever she put one in al-tanour (an oven like, Arabs used to bake bread in)she kisses her son.
The Prophet PBUH asked: Would this mother throw her kid in fire?
They said: No way.
The Prophet PBUH said: I swear by Who Muhammad's fate in His Hand; Allah is, most certainly, more merciful with His slave than this mother is with her own child.”

 You may hear that Allah does whatever He wills, you may spend your whole life being obedient to Him, then He throws you in hell fire. He does whatever He wants.
However this is not what the Prophet PBUH said.

“A women named Um Haretha came asking the Prophet PBUH about her son Haretha who was killed with an arrow in the day of Bader (the first battle between Muslims and the infidels that was won by Muslims even though they were outnumbered)
She said: O messenger of Allah; you know how much I love Haretha!
If he is in paradise, then I won't weep for him.
If he is not, then I shall kill myself.
He said: Are you out of your mind? Calm down. Do you think it's one paradise?
They are many paradises and he is in the top of them.“

 I am just trying to remind how merciful a mother is with her own child.

In some houses msh3er may be extremely cruel:

 In such case, a child sticks to his friends until late up at night, so when he comes home, boredom is what he feels.
 He feels the house more like a grave. No mercy, no intimacy, nothing good to eat, nothing good to wear.
 The more attracted the son is to the house, the more wise the mother or the father is.

“The Prophet PBUH said:
Nothing is much better to be taught to a son than good moralities.”

[Narrated by Al-Hakem]

 In another word, to raise your son/daughter to be obedient to Allah and to have high manners is the best thing to give.

This is what the prophet indicated:

”A man used to come to the Prophet PBUH (pbuh) with his son.
The Prophet PBUH asked him: Do you love him?
He said: Yes, I do!
The Prophet PBUH said: May Allah love you as much as He loves him. I.e. to love him in an acceptable way.
The man did not show up for a while.
The Prophet PBUH asked: where is the man (who used to come with his son)?
O messenger of Allah, his son died.
The Prophet PBUH said to the father: Do you like to find your son waiting for you no matter which door of paradise you choose to enter ?
The father asked: O messenger of Allah, is it our (privilege) or only his?
The Prophet PBUH replied: it is yours.”

[Documented by Imam Ahmad.]

 It is such an unbearable calamity to lose a beloved child at an early age; it is the age of cuteness, passion, innocence, and purity.

The slaves that Allah shall never talk, praise, or look at:

“The Prophet PBUH (pbuh) said:
There slaves of Allah, exalted he is, whom He shall never talk to, or praise and raise their rank, or (even) look at.
He was asked: O messenger of Allah; who are they?
He said: Someone who abandoned his parents, and a man who have been honored by (certain)people but he was ungrateful.”

 For instance; a young man would walk away claiming that his father is an old fashion man, not understanding so he despises his father.
 Those kinds of people shall have such a painful torment.
 If your father is a deviated one, nothing prevents you from being kind to your father, serving him (checking out his needs). He is the reason of your existence (for god's sake)!

A glad tiding to you, brother in Islam:

”The Prophet PBUH said: if someone has three daughters and was patient with them; feeding them, buying them clothes, they will be protect him from hell fire.”

 It is such a splendid thing to raise those girls then a young believing man comes to ask for her hand; at that point your mission is over.
The Prophet PBUH used to care for children very much.

“Once Osama bin Zais said:
The Prophet PBUH (pbuh) used to take me and Hasan (his grandchild) and say:
O Allah; I adore them, so (may you "Allah") adore them too.”

The conclusion:

 All the Hadiths that I have mentioned tell us that a parent's faith is measured by as much as he/she loves his/her kids, and the mercy in his/her heart shows how well he/she is connected to Allah.
 In fact, the education, the discipline and good manners that your children have are your biggest pride, for if you do so you shall get Allah's content.
 These authentic Hadiths shows the affection and the care that were in the hearts of the companions of the Prophet PBUH for their children.