July
05
2008
Islamic Education- Children Education 2008- Lesson (15-36): Psychological Education 1: The Phenomenon of Timidity
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Praise be to Allah, the Lord of Creations, and Peace and blessings be upon our prophet Muhammad, the faithful and the honest.
 Oh, Allah, we know nothing but what You teach us. You are the All- Knower, the Wise. Oh Allah, teach us what is good for us, and benefit us from what You taught us, and increase our knowledge. Show us the righteous things as righteous and help us to do them, and show us the bad things as bad and help us to keep away from them.
  O Allah our Lord, lead us out from the depths of darkness and illusion, unto the lights of erudition and knowledge, and from the muddy shallows of lusts unto the heavens of Your Vicinity.

Modesty and timidity:

 Dear brothers, this is lesson No. 15 of the series Children Upbringing in Islam, and today we will start with the psychological education which is a very wide topic, but today we will discuss the phenomenon of timidity which is a flaw unlike modesty which is a virtue, and there is a big difference between the two.

 Modesty is the outcome of faith, whereas timidity is the outcome of wrong upbringing which involves in calling children names and hitting or humiliating them. In fact, the harsh upbringing some parents resort to results in grave outcome, for the child will lack self-confidence, and he will be shy to say any word and will start to stutter. The harsh father who hastens to hit his son and to badmouth him before his siblings and friends will destroy him totally. Let alone, this child will be unable to say a word, to reclaim his rights or to defend himself. The father who lacks the methods needed for raising children might cause his son lots of problems in his adulthood, given fatherhood is a responsibility as you all know.

﴾Verily, We give life to the dead, and We record that which they send before (them), and their traces [their footsteps and walking on the earth with their legs to the mosques for the five compulsory congregational prayers, Jihad (holy fighting in Allah's Cause) and all other good and evil they did, and that which they leave behind]﴿

[Ya-Sin, 12]

Bad consequences of harsh behavior against children:

 The influence of harsh treatment might affect the child and last until an old age. When the child lacks self-esteem and fears his father's punishment, he might resort to lying, which is the outcome of harsh treatment.
  Also, the child might resort to his friends who may affect him negatively, because the friend's influence on his friend is deeper than the influence of the parents, the old siblings, the teacher and the mentor all together.

 Dear brothers, anger, violence, humiliation and badmouthing have so dangerous effects on children. Furthermore, when the father says to his son, "You idiot" while the child is clever, this word will destroy him psychologically.
  I met a very notable scholar in an Islamic country who has acquired a very high knowledgeable degree, and he wrote so many books and his activities in Da'wah (calling people to Allah) are significant. He swore to me that the secret behind his superiority is that he was born and raised in a small town in Homs (city in Syria), and he had an illiterate relative who said to him once when he was a child, "O son, you will become a very notable scholar one day." These words lifted his self-esteem and filled his soul with confidence.

 A physician has a son, and in order to encourage him to become a doctor, he asked a man who was skillful in calligraphy to carve his name on a plate starting with Dr. before his first name. His son was in the seventh grade at that time, and the father put the plate in his room, so that the child would keep reading it every morning until he become one of the greatest physicians in Damascus, and his major is in the spinal cord diseases. Keep in mind one encouraging word will lift the spirit of your son, and always remember that virtue is in the middle of two extremes (two vices). Thus, the strong personality is a virtue between timidity and disrespect (two vices).

 Abdullah bin az-Zubair was once playing with other children when Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, passed by. The children, struck with awe, ran away and dispersed. Only Abdullah bin az-Zubair remained, attracting thus Umar's attention. He asked, "Why did you not flee with those who fled, child?" He answered, "O Ameer, you are not an oppressor, so that I should fear your oppression; nor am I guilty of anything to fear your punishment; and the road is wide enough for you and me." He was courageous and polite as well.

Strong character of children is derived from the good upbringing:

 The strong personality of the child is different from being impolite, disrespectful and having the ability to cross the line with others. Modesty is different from timidity and sick shyness, and the child acquires good morals due to his father's good upbringing.

 Dear brothers, the mistakes fathers commit to their children will backfire in the future. Fatherhood is a responsibility, so before getting married and having children one should seek knowledge, because as it is reported:

((Man is a construct from Allah, cursed is the one who demolishes it.))

 The child is innocent and has feelings and dignity, so give him the importance that is needed to feed his feelings and dignity, encourage him, be tender to him, be compassionate to him and be affectionate to him. If he errs, forgive him and let him have faith in you, for if you hit him (after you promise not to), he will never believe you again.

 I am not exaggerating, but I believe beyond doubt that most of students' mistakes are because of the teachers', and most of children's mistakes are because of their parents'. You may find violence, hitting, badmouthing and quarrels between the married couple in some households, and these quarrels have bad influence on kids. Let me repeat:

((Man is a construct from Allah, cursed is the one who demolishes it.))

 This child is your son and one day he will turn into a man, so teach him morals and modesty, and tell him when he should draw a line to stop at it.

The different approaches of the psychological education:

1- The father should deal with his son one on one:

 My first note: I hope that every father and mother discuss matters one on one with their child alone, and in this case no matter how harsh the parent might be, it will be between the two of them, and thus the dignity of the child is preserved. Not to mention, the child will never hold bitter feelings even if his father was a bit harsh on him. However, if the parent rebukes his child before his friends, he will be deeply hurt.

 I was once in the United States when a doctor who lives there said to me that one day his son invited an Afro-American friend to the house, so like any other Islamic family the mother prepared food for his friend who observed a remarkable mutual respect and a great care from the mother who welcomed him warmly and served him food. After a period of time that coherence in the Islamic family was what made the Afro-American friend embrace Islam. How wonderful this is! In our country it is a grace from Allah that there are lots of families who look after their children and care for them and for their friends, and when the children are well-raised they befriend the best among people.

 Dear brothers, the first thing about the psychological education is discussing matters between you and your son, so that you may preserve his dignity without humiliating him before his friends or siblings.

2- The father should set a good example for his son:

 The second thing: The most effective way to influence children is to set an example for them. Therefore, if the father says to his son, "Tell this person I am not at home", while he is there, this is a practical example of lying, and it cancels thousands of lectures on honesty. Thus, accustom yourself to be honest with your children, because he looks up to you, so if the father lies, smokes and shouts until his voice is heard by the people in the street, this will not be a good example for the children, given shouting is one of the things which lapses Al-Adalah (integrity of man). Of course there are other matters which cause Adalah lapsing like walking in the street barefooted, giving less in measure and weight (decreasing the rights of others, gaining ill-gotten money, wandering in the streets, talking about women, eating in the street, exceeding the limits, riding the horse very fast and speaking loudly in streets.
 The house of the believer is quiet, there is no noise inside it, there is affection and there is forbearance. Moreover, problems are dealt with calmly not by slamming doors, breaking dishes or badmouthing. The children who are raised in a quiet house grow up and become quiet themselves. In concise, if you are with Allah, He will guide you to the Right Path.

The parent's success is raising children according to Islamic moral values:

 Psychological education means to raise your son on good morals and on honesty. Also, you should be honest with him when you tell him, "if you tell the truth I will not punish you." Furthermore, raise your son to be your friend, so that he can tell you everything, and when he errs talk to him and explain the bad effects of this error on his reputation and his future thereof.

 Psychological education is to raise your son on morals, honesty, trustworthiness, chastity, uprightness, respecting others and fulfilling promises, and this is how Islam is. Regarding these noble traits, Imam Ja'far, may Allah be pleased with him, said to An-Najashi:

((O King, we were a people in a state of ignorance and immorality, worshipping idols and eating the flesh of dead animals, committing all sorts of abomination and shameful deeds. breaking the ties of kinship, treating guests badly and the strong among us exploited the weak. We remained in this state until Allah sent us a Prophet, one of our own people whose lineage, truthfulness, trustworthiness and integrity were well-known to us. He called us to worship Allah alone and to renounce the stones and the idols which we and our ancestors used to worship besides Allah. He commanded us to speak the truth, to honor our promises, to be kind to our relations, to be helpful to our neighbors, to cease all forbidden acts, to abstain from bloodshed.))

[Imam Ahmad by Um Salah the mother of believers]

 Islam is a moral structure, and it is a whole set of values, so the father's success lies in raising his children on those values. Thus, he should be keen on what his children say, wondering whether his son is telling the truth or not. He should be keen on their trustworthiness and follow up on their promises to see them through.

 I would like to repeat again, the psychological education is accomplished by raising your son on the best of morals, because faith is all about morals and as Ibn Al-Qayim said, " so whoever has better morals than yours has deeper faith than yours. The Prophet PBUH said:

((Verily I have been sent as a teacher.))

[Al-Harith by Abdullah Bin Amro Ibn Al A's]

((I was sent to complete noble morals."))

[Al-Bazzar in his Musnad and Imam Ahmad by Abi Hurairah]

 The gist of the psychological education, the topic of this lecture, is to plant good morals in your children, but one of the vulnerable sides your son might have is timidity.

Modesty reflects sound faith:

 This lecture is about this phenomenon (timidity). As you all know timidity is a psychological disorder whereas modesty is a healthy trait, for modesty is derived from faith, and it is manifested in abstaining from committing sins, from crossing lines with the elderly and from taking what does not belong to you, and it is manifested in being modest before Allah.

(('Abdullah bin Mas'ud narrated that the Messenger of Allah (the Almighty) said: "Have Haya' for Allah as is His due." [He said:] We said: "O Prophet of Allah! We have Haya', and all praise is due to Allah." He said: "Not that, but having the Haya' for Allah which He is due is to protect the head and what it contains and to protect the insides and what it includes, and to remember death and the trial, and whoever intends the Hereafter, he leaves the adornments of the world. So whoever does that, then he has indeed fulfilled Haya', meaning the Haya' which Allah is due."))

[At-Tirmizi by Abdullah bin Mas'ud]

 You have eyes, so do you lower your gaze? You have ears, so do you abstain from listening to whatever displeases Allah? You have a hand, so you should refrain from using them in whatever displeases Allah…etc.

(("Not that, but having the Haya' for Allah which He is due is to protect the head and what it contains and to protect the insides and what it includes."))

[At-Tirmizi by Abdullah bin Mas'ud]

 Do you pay for your food from ill-gotten money? Do your feet lead you to sins? Does your hand hurt others? These are the cornerstones of modesty and the best act of modesty is to be so before Allah Who is Modest:

((Salman (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Your Rabb (Lord of the Universe) is Modest and Generous, and would never turn the hands of a slave without gain when he raises them to Him (in supplication)." Related by the four lmams except An-Nasa'i. Al-Hakim graded it as Sahih.))

[Abu Dawood and At-Tirmizi by Salman Al-Farisi]

((O My servant, you have got by now gray hair, weak sight and hunched back, so take Me into your consideration as I take you in My consideration.))

[Mentioned in the relic]

Parents should teach their child modesty:

 Modesty is a virtue, so you should raise your son to have modesty which is reflected in refraining from taking off his cloths in front of his siblings or parents, and there are good examples among families in that regard. Taking off cloths should be in a closed room. Unfortunately, there are families where the son stays in his underwear in front of his sisters, and the girl puts on cloths which show her bodylines in front of her brothers, and all the doors are open and there is no privacy or discipline. These matters will bring about bad phenomena and grave deviations amongst the members of the family which are caused by the dissoluteness inside the house. The Prophet PBUH once instructed his companions that the man should ask for permission before entering to his mother's room, so one of them said, "But she is my mother", to which the Prophet PBUHs said, "Do you want to see her naked?"

 It is axiomatic for the father to ask for permission before he enters his daughter's room, for she might be sleeping and parts of her body might be uncovered. Also, it is not permitted for the brother to enter his sister's room without knocking on the door. When we are keen on such matters and when we are modest, we will be safe, but dissoluteness and showing off parts of the body by the daughters and sons before their parents and before one another will certainly lead to grave deviations. Therefore, the main thing to do is to teach your son to abstain from showing his Awrah (private Parts) before his sisters, brothers or parents.

The believer is disciplined in his words:

 Dear brothers, kids hear words of all kinds (the bad words) from the street, so the parents' job is to tell his that this word is a taboo. As for the house from inside, the child might live for a long time with his parents without hearing one bad word, without mentioning the private parts and without badmouthing anyone. Thus, the more you are keen on using polite words in front of your child the more polite and well-behaved he becomes, and this would be one of Allah's Graces upon you.

 It is unacceptable to take off cloths in front of adults or children without any caution, nor does it acceptable to say filthy words that hurt other people as human beings. Thus, your household must be disciplined.

((The faith of a man cannot be straight unless his heart is straight, and his heart cannot be straight unless his tongue becomes straight.))

[Imam Ahmad by Anas bin Malik]

 The believer is not coarse or foul-mouthed, but rather he chooses the best word to say.

The child's strong personality is the outcome of his father's upbringing:

 Dear brothers, the following Hadith might be misinterpreted:

((Narrated Abu Masud 'Uqba: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "One of the sayings of the Prophets which the people have got, is. 'If you do not feel ashamed, then do whatever you like."))

[Al-Bukhari and Abu Dawood by Abu Mas'ud]

 They might interpret it as follows, "If you do not feel ashamed then do whatever you like and this marks your strong personality" which is incorrect.

 As I said earlier, the strong character of the child comes from his good upbringing. When the father is harsh on his child, the latter will acquire timidity which is a flaw. Also when the child speaks loudly, and his family members cheer and laugh upon hearing him saying a filthy word, he will cross all red lines with their guests, he will be disrespectful and he will even hit the guest. Accordingly, even if your child is still too young, if you laugh when he says a filthy word, you will be the reason for his bad behavior later on. Therefore, your guidance should be balanced, so that your child will not become socially shy or disrespectful, but rather he will become modest, and as I said previously, modesty is between two extremes, which are the vice of sick shyness and the vice of disrespect).

((If you do not feel ashamed, then do whatever you like.))

[Al-Bukhari and Abu Dawood by Abu Masud]

 This Hadith means that as long as you are sure what you are going to do or say is for the Sake of Allah, and it accords with Allah's Method, then do not mind what people say, given taking people's sayings into consideration marks having weak personality, whereas the one whose character is strong stands for his beliefs regardless of what people say since his purpose is meaningful and his means are lawful. Besides, whoever knows himself well no one will hurt him by his words.

Whoever relinquishes enjoining Ma'roof and forbidding Munkar loses his vantage:

 We move to the point of being modest before Allah. Once a catering supervisor asked me to give him a piece of advice concerning his job as many supply violations were recorded, and traders were suffering severely. I gave him an unexpected piece of advice saying, "Record as many violation tickets as you can and send to prison as many people as you can." He was astonished upon hearing these words. Then he said, "Is this your advice?!" I said, "Yes, but be careful; your heroism is to prepare a convincing answer to Allah when He asks you about each violation you record and every harm you do to people." This is how man can be humble before Allah, for each one of us will be called to account for every deed, so he must ask himself, "Is what I am doing right?", "Do I have an answer to my Lord?" and "Did I do that to please Him?"

 Actually one of the reasons behind man's strong personality is to be a man of principles and values, but the society might reject some of these values, and even giving good advice might be rejected. For instance, when a niece visits her uncle dressed indecently, yet her uncle welcomed her warmly and praises her good education, her intelligence and her beauty, where does that leave advice? If he advises her, she might get upset and might not come back to visit him, so he refrains from advising her, which is a big mistake.

﴾They used not to forbid one another from the Munkar (wrong, evil-doing, sins, polytheism, disbelief, etc.) which they committed.﴿

[Al-Ma'idah', 79]

 Your niece may dress up indecently showing all her beauty, but her parents never rebuke her for that, so as her uncle, you are supposed to advise her, aren't you? If you are modest and shameful of Allah, you should advise her.

 I know a religious man who has a store, and one day I visited him at his work him, and by Allah his secretary was in an indecent outfit, so I advised him to do something about that, and he said to me, "By Allah, hundreds of people came here and none of them gave me this advice." He listened to my advice and mended the situation. If you do not advise people around you, where does that leave the principles you adopt?

﴾ You [true believers in Islamic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah (legal ways, etc.)] are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden), and you believe in Allah ﴿

[Aal-'Imran, 110]

 If we do not forbid Munkar and enjoin Ma'roof, we will lose our privileges as an Ummah, and we will become like any other nation without any privileges.

The believer is not a deceiver nor will he allow someone to deceive him:

 As for modesty and timidity, Allah says:

﴾And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, they take revenge.﴿

[Ash-Shura, 39]

 The believer has a strong personality, so if someone treats him disrespectfully, he knows how to handle that. For instance, if someone drives his vehicle recklessly, while passing you by, you should remind him with the traffic laws instead of keeping silent about it, otherwise you are not considered a true believer.

﴾ And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, they take revenge. ﴿

[Ash-Shura, 39]

 Some people have a wrong idea about the believer, and they think that he is someone who keeps silent when he is hurt, treated disrespectfully or suppressed. They think that the believer is Darweesh (dervish) and naïve, but he is not. Umar said once, "I am not a malicious person, but I do not let malicious people deceive me." This means, "I am not a naïve person who people can deceive, nor am I a malicious person who deceives others" The believer is prudent and cautious, so if anyone crosses the line with him, he should stop him.

﴾ And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, they take revenge. ﴿

[Ash-Shura, 39]

Forgiving other people is recommended if it mends them:

 If a reckless young man runs over a child and causes him fractures and bruises, we should do not go soft on the driver and say, "Allah will reckon him", because this reaction might make him reckless. On the contrary, we should bring him to the court and reckon him for his reckless actions. Sometimes, the driver might be cautious and a respectful man who is not driving fast, but a child bounces in front of the car, so he runs him over. In this case, he is not the only responsible one for the accident, but also it is the child's mistake, so forgiving him will bring him close to Allah.

﴾ And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, they take revenge. ﴿

[Ash-Shura, 39]

﴾ The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof﴿

[Ash-Shura, 40]

 If you believe that forgiving him will cause his guidance then forgive him.

﴾ But whoever forgives and makes reconciliation,﴿

[Ash-Shura, 40]

This means that your forgiveness may make him reconcile with Allah:

﴾ His reward is due from Allah. ﴿

[Ash-Shura, 40]

 Sometimes a student might be accused of something he did not do, but he keeps silent, and this is due to the harsh upbringing he has got from his parents which made him unable to fight for his rights and defend himself politely and boldly, but rather this wrong upbringing will make him shy and helpless. On the other hand, if he is raised to misbehave and flee the punishment, he will be impolite and disrespectful with people.

When the father asks for the opinion of his child, this raises his self-confidence:

 Allow me to give you some examples from the Prophetic biography:

((Sahl Ibn Sa'd As-Sa'idi narrated: A drink (milk mixed with water) was brought to the Prophet, peace be upon him, who drank some of it while a boy was sitting on his right (the youngest at the meeting) and old men on his left. The Prophet PBUH, said to the boy, "If you permit me, I will give (the rest of the drink to) these old men first." The boy said, "I will not give preference to any one over me as regards my share from you, O Allah's Apostle!" The Prophet PBUH then put that container in the boy's hand.))

 The child considered himself entitled to that right.

 Pay attention to this Prophetic method of dealing with children; the Prophet PBUH asked for the permission of a child, and by doing so he lifted his self-esteem and gave him his right, so he let the child drink before old people, and he never considered it as disrespectful behavior, but rather that child acquired honor when he drank in his turn after the Prophet PBUH.

 In fact, when you council your child, you will lift his self-esteem. Thus, say to him, "O son we intend to do so and so what do you think of that?" This will be enough reason for the child to feel his importance and his position, and it will lift his self-esteem as his father is counseling him and listening attentively to his opinion though he is a child.

 Abu Hanifah once ran into a child in the street where there was a hole, so he said to him, "Beware of the hole, lest you fall into it", so the child said back, "Beware of falling yourself, because if I fall I will fall alone, but if you fall the entire Ummah will fall with you." How wise that child was, and what a strong personality he had.

Examples from history about children who has exalted manners:

 It was narrated that a delegation from Hijaz came to our master Umar Ibn Abdulaziz, and it was preceded by an 11-year-old boy which annoyed Umar as he considered that an insult. The boy entered to speak on behalf of the delegation, but Umar said to him, "Sit down boy, and let somebody older than you speak." The boy smiled and said, "May Allah guide the Ameer (The Commander of the Believers)! Man is estimated by two small parts of his body: his heart and his tongue. Indeed, If Allah blesses a servant with an eloquent tongue and a faithful heart, he deserves to speak. If it had been a matter of age, then many other Muslims would have been worthier of the Khilafah than you!"

 A delegation from the desert was introduced to Abdul-Malik bin Marwan. Seized by anger he said to his usher, "Whomever wants to get in is allowed to! Even the boys!" The child interfered, "O Prince, my presence does not denigrate you, but it honors me! We were hit by a year that melted the fat, another one ate the meat (they became all skin and bones), and another one weakened the bones, and you have extra money. If it is for Allah, we are His servants, so give it to us as a charity. If it is for us, why do you keep away from us? If it is yours, give it to us as a charity." The Khalifah said, "This boy left us with no excuse."

 A young man was teaching in the Masjid, and people gathered around him and loved him so much, and that made some scholars envious. One of them intended to undermine that young man, so he attended his session, and when it was over, he said, "O young man, we have never heard of what you have just said", since the young man was so polite he said calmly, "O sir, have you acquired everything in knowledge?" If that scholar had said, "Yes", he would have made a grave mistake, so he said, "No", to which the young man said, "How much knowledge have you acquired?" He said, "Half of it", so the young man said, "Well what you have heard is from the other half that you do not know." Though that young man was polite, his answer was outstanding.

 A young man was doing something that great scholars usually do, so one of them intended to belittle him by saying, "O young man, how old are you?" The young man said, "I am as old as our Master Usama bin Zaid, may Allah be pleased with him, when he was the commander of an army in which Abu Bakr, Umar and Uthman, may Allah be pleased with them, served as soldiers."

Raising your son to be bold, honest and trustworthy will enrich his personality:

 Dear brothers, politeness is a very exalted trait. Our Master Yusuf PBUH said:

﴾ He was indeed good to me, when He took me out of the prison.﴿

[Yusuf, 100]

 Which is graver, the well or the prison? The well of course, because the odds that he would have ended dead were greater, but in prison he would be alive, and had he said, "He was indeed good to me when He took me out of the well", He would have reminded his brothers of the grave mistake they made to him. It is narrated in the relic:

((Do not abash people (till their faces turn red).))

 Do not abash a person, and react the same way Yusuf PBUH reacted to his brothers' wrongdoing. He got over the well dilemma, and he thanked Allah for getting him out of prison.

 Listen to what will happen at the end of time, I seek refuge with Allah from that era, as it is reported by Muslim and Al-Bukhari:

((Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (The Almighty) said: "When your leaders are the best of you, the richest are the most generous among you, and your affairs are consulted among you, then the surface of the earth is better for you than its belly. And when your leaders are the worst of you, the richest are the stingiest among you, and your affairs are referred to your women, then the belly of the earth is better for you than its surface."))

[At-Tirmizi by Abi Hurairah]

 When you raise your son to be brave, honest, trustworthy and transparent, and when you raise him to reclaim his rights, to refuse humiliation and to reject insults, his personality will become strong, and he will be modest and far away from the two vices: timidity and disrespect.

The prudent is whoever renounces every stance that displeases Allah:

 In fact when you notice that a child is shy, then is the effect of the violence and the badmouthing practised against him in his social environment. The character of such a child is weak, so he cannot even reclaim his rights. Another example of the child who has a defect in character is the disrespectful one, whose parents praise him if he errs, misbehaves with people or crosses the lines.

 It was narrated that a man wanted to win a bet he had with others on how tolerant Mu'awiyah was, so he asked a little boy to tab him on his behind (it was reported that he had big behind) while he was climbing the Minbar (pulpit), but since Mu'awiyah was shrewd, he knew that there was a bet, and that the boy did not do that on his own, so he said to the boy, "Win the bet son", and he did nothing to him. However, that boy tried to do the same with another person, and as a result that man killed him, so people said, "Mu'awiyah's tolerance killed the boy."

 When a boy crosses lines with someone, and the latter does not react properly to his rudeness, he might do the same with an oppressor which might bring him to his doom. Thus, when you advise others and renounce their misbehavior which does not please Allah, this would be a wise reaction from your side.

The prudent is whoever raises his children to be modest, for Allah loves modesty:

 Educating children psychologically makes their personalities strong and modest away from being shy or disrespectful (two vices). The Prophet PBUH said:

((Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Haya (modesty, bashfulness etc.) is a part of faith."))

[Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawod, At-Tirmizi, An-Nasa'ee and Malik by Ibn Umar]

((Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Iman has over seventy branches - or over sixty branches - the uppermost of which is the declaration: 'None has the right to be worshipped but Allah'; and the least of which is the removal of harmful object from the road, and modesty is a branch of Iman."))

[Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawod, At-Tirmizi, An-Nasa'ee by Abi Hurairah]

 Let us raise our children to be modest because Allah loves modesty.

Translation  : Noura Sharabi
Edited by      : Kawthar Hajj Saleh