March
25
2005
Friday sermon (0958): Cruelty and Mercy
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Praise Be to Allah - we praise Him, we seek aid from Him, we seek guidance, and we seek from Him refuge from the evils of ourselves, and our bad deeds. It is He whom Allah guides that is on true guidance; but he whom He leaves astray, for such wilts thou find no protector to lead him to the right way. And I profess that there is no god but Allah alone, & He has no partners. And I admit His lordship, compelling this truth for those who denied Him and disbelieved in Him. And I profess that our master Muhammad, May Allah's Peace & Grace be upon him, is the messenger of Allah, the master of the created and the human race, and I keep professing that for as long as sight can be seen with an eye, for as long as news can be heard with an ear.
  O Allah, our Lord, have peace and blessings upon our master Mohammed, upon his folks, his companions, his descendants, and those who allied with him and followed him until the Day of Judgment. O Allah our Lord, teach us what is useful for us, and let us make use of what Thou hast taught us. O Allah and advance us in knowledge. O Allah show us the righteousness as right as it is, and bless us with following it. O Allah our lord make us amongst those who listen to the Word and follow the best meaning of it, and admit us, by Thy Grace, to the ranks of Thy righteous Servants. O Allah our Lord, lead us out from the depths of darkness and illusion, unto the lights of erudition and knowledge, and from the muddy shallows of lusts unto the heavens of Thy Vicinity.

Cruelty and mercy:

Dear brothers, the topic of our lesson today revolves around violence, cruelty, suppression and oppression that prevailed all over the world, and the opposite concepts of them such as mercy and justice which are recommended in Islam.

Dear brothers, the word "cruelty" is mentioned seven contexts in the Noble Quran, and in each context it is despised, Allah says:

(( Then, after that, your hearts were hardened ))

[Al-Baqarah, 74]

And Allah says:

(( So, woe to those whose hearts are hardened ))

[Az-Zumar, 22]

It is narrated in Sahih Bukhari, by Abu Mas'ood Al Badri, that the prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him) pointed to Yemen with his hand and said:

((Verily Iman is towards this side, and harshness and callousness of the hearts is found amongst the rude owners of the camels who drive them behind their tails (to the direction) where emerge the two horns of Satan, they are the tribes of Rabia and Mudar.))

[Sahih Muslim and Bukhari]

Dear brothers, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessing upon him, sought refuge in Allah from cruelty: narrated Abu Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him, he said: I have heard Abu Al Qasem (the Prophet), may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, saying:

((Mercy is not taken away except from one who is wretched and nasty.))

[Hadith Hasan, by Tirmizi]

If you treat the ship merciful, Allah will be merciful to you. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was not sent forth - as you all know- but as a mercy for the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists.)

Cruelty in our lives:

Dear brothers, the various aspects of the social violence, about which only Allah knows, are prevailed among common Muslims. There is violence against woman; many women are brutally beaten, and sometimes they are forced out of their houses at night.. Also violence is committed against children, weak people and strangers who have no support.

This violence is spread in the Islamic societies, but not all Islamic societies are violent. I avoid generalization, because it is but ignorance. It is highly recommended that the houses of the knowledge seekers and those who goes to Masajid regularly should be heaven-like even if these houses are small, and that they should be full of mercy even if they are not well-furnished.

Dear brothers, violence sometimes is committed by those who consider themselves well-educated and those who direct people. They pretend to be modest, but if they are insulted by someone, they will aggressively attack him back. The violence committed by powerful people and antagonists are more aggressive. I seek refuge in Allah from it, for this violence is refused and condemned.

Dear brothers, the widely prevailing aspects of violence all over the world is the main reason behind the catastrophic events in it, because violence brings about violence. Let me elaborate on this point and shed lights on the frightened features of this violence. Violence could be the very harmful effect of the dangerous mental state of the violent person. He mistakenly thinks that giving other people the impression that he is a fearful person will enable him to have a strong character and make people freeze when he passes by. Actually, this way of thinking indicates how weak this person is; it is resulted from mental disorder, inferiority complex and guilt complex

Dear brothers, narrated Jarir Ibn Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with him:

((The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, did not screen himself from me (had never prevented me from entering upon him) since I embraced Islam, and whenever he saw me, he would receive me with a smile.))

[Hadith Sahih, by Bukhari and Muslim]

This is how the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, used to be.

The harsh reactions:

I am addressing every boss, school director, hospital manager, whoever frowns at people and whoever likes to make people fear him thinking that doing so makes him a wise leader and a powerful man. This is absolutely wrong; your strength is derived from being modest, and from being admired by your surroundings.

Aggression can be represented by shouting at other people and raising one's voice while talking to them. Scholars said, "The 'Adalah' (The foundation of beliefs and manners) of someone is negatively affected if he shouts at home, threatens other member of the family and says dirty words." Loud voices are repeatedly heard at night from what supposed to be "Islamic homes." Hereinafter some examples about domestic cruelty:
- Cruelty can be manifested when a woman gives her husband a watch as a gift, and he asks, "How much does it cost?" Upon telling him, he says, "They ripped you off. It is a high price for such a watch." This behavior is unacceptable to someone who offers you a gift.
- Also cruelty can be noticed when a man gives his wife a rose, and after smelling it, she throws it away and says, " It is odorless rose."

The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:

((A good word is charity.))

[Hadith Sahih, by Muslim]

Some people turn faces beat red, embarrass one another, make fun of the words of each other and belittle one another. People misbehaved to each other even when insignificant issues in life are discussed and not the serious topics of the creed. It is an act of violence to cause other people fish in troubled waters, look down to others, embarrass people, frowning at them most of the time, being ill-tempered and badmouthing others.

Cruelty towards things:

Dear brothers, there is domestic violence against inanimate things; many expensive pieces of furniture are ruined, doors are broken and expensive things are smashed out of anger. The believer should be patient and his house should be full of mercy, affection and love.
Dear brothers, by breaking the window the wife's heart is broken, and by smashing the vase the children's hearts are smashed, not to mention that such acts are escalate domestic conflicts.

In some cases, people use things when they react violently to each other. For instance, during parliament sessions, the attendants get angry with each other, so they start throwing chairs at each other.

Lenience is part of the religion:

Dear brothers, Allah says:

(( The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion)))

[Al-Hujuraat, 10]

Till when shall we keep paying lip services about the religion and refrain from adapting its method? Most of us, as Muslims, are too far from the Prophetic conducts and those of the esteemed Companions. Is not it time to teach our children how to respect others and consider their rights? Is not it time to teach our children how to be keepers of the public interests? Is not it time to teach our children how to abide by the common sense, and how to say those words that are the best as Allah recommends us in the following Ayah:

(( And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best.))

[Al-Isra', 53]

"That are the best" means that there could be thousand of kind words, but you should choose the best of them. Allah says:

(( Invite (mankind, O Muhammad) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching))

[An-Nahl, 125]

Regarding arguing, Allah says:

(( And argue with them in a way that is better.))

[An-Nahl, 125]

There is a big difference between inviting people to the way of Allah with wisdom and arguing with them; when you argue with people, you are challenging them. For some people, the ideas they are convinced by are linked to their dignity. Thus, if you want to win the argument, you should argue with people in a way that is better. Allah says:

(( Say (O Muhammad to these polytheists, pagans, etc.) "Who gives you provision from the heavens and the earth?" Say: "Allah, And verily, (either) we or you are rightly guided or in a plain error." ?

[Saba', 24]

Superiority should never exist in the Muslim's life. You may think that you are right, but it turns to be that you are not, and you may think that the other party is wrong, but he turns to be right, Allah says:

(( Say (O Muhammad to these polytheists, pagans, etc.) "You will not be asked about our sins, nor shall we be asked of what you do." ?

[Saba', 25]

These are the manners which are indicated in the Noble Quran, and which are required to be adapted by dialogists

Dear brothers, narrated Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her: I heard the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, saying:

((A believer will attain by his good behavior the rank of one who prays during the night and observes fasting during the day.))

[Abu Dawod, By Aishah]

A man with good conducts will attain the rank of the one who prays during the night and observes fasting during the day.

Different types of cruelty and violence:

Dear brothers, if we try deeply, scientifically and objectively to analyze the reasons behind prevailing violence amongst Muslims and non-Muslims, we will come up with the following reasons:

1- Cruelty of the husband:

The members of some families are harsh, cruel and lack affection towards one another. Greeting is replaced with beating, kidding is replaced with cruelty. The latest studies have proved that fifty to eighty percent of those who beat their wives saw their fathers beat their mothers. The adapted behavior of the child is based on what he sees. Hence, the patient, calm and tender father spreads mercy, tenderness and patience amongst his family, whereas the cruel and violent father, who shouts all the time, spreads in his absence violence, cruelty and shouting amongst his family.

Dear brothers, one of every three women is afflicted with mental diseases, depression and nervousness because of her husband's violence.

Dear brothers, do you know how many wives are severely oppressed by their husbands? Those husbands ignore their wives' rights and humiliate them making use of the fact that their wives have no other choice but keeping silent. Some wives accept to live under such domestic violence, because their families are poor and have no place for the married daughters to live in. As a result, the wife is left with no one to support her, and her husband who knows that very well exaggerates in oppressing her.

I usually listen to thousands of stories in that respect, so I am not telling you stories of my own imagination, and it is not my habit to do so. I transmit to you some of the stories that break the heart. The husband who goes to the Masjid every Friday to listen to the sermon, but he looks like a beast at home, does he really comprehend the sermon he listens to?

2- Cruelty of the father:

Dear brothers, many young girls live in sorrow because their fathers prevent them from getting married. In some cases the father rejects whoever asks the father for his daughter's hand, because she should get married to her wealthy cousin. Some fathers never let their daughters get married to keep living on their salaries if they are employees. By Allah, I was told tens of stories in which the father refuses to let his daughter get married. One of them said to me on the phone, "Twenty men asked my father for my hand, but my father rejected them all." If a young girls deviates from the right path, Allah forbids, she will say on the Day of Judgment, "O Lord, I will not enter hellfire until you admit my father before me." By Allah, one of the young women whose father prevented her from getting married said to her father on his deathbed, "I ask Allah not to have mercy on you, because you didn’t have mercy on me."

3- Cruelty of the teacher:

Dear brothers, another kind of violence is the one committed against children. A ruthless teacher may beat his student brutally if he makes a trivial mistake. Treating students harshly destroy their personalities and causes them mental complexes. These complexes are also caused when a teacher makes fun of a student, of his family, of his appearance, of his weakness at a certain subject. Do you know why children suffer from these complexes? Because of a ruthless cruel father, harsh mother or a violent teacher. Children are just like roses which are easily smashed by cruelty.

Dear brothers, some fathers put down their children, beat them severely and hush them before visitors by saying to them, "Shut up." What if the man who treats children badly is sterile? What if he has a son and he gets sick? What if this son dies? Will not the father's heart break if something wrong happens to his son?

Dear brothers, let me tell you that there are husbands who do not appreciate the grace of having a wife, there are wives who do not appreciate the grace of having a husband, there are fathers who do not appreciate the grace of having children and there are sons who do not appreciate the grace of having fathers.

Dear brothers, narrated Abi Qatadah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:

((I start the prayer intending to make it long, then I hear a child crying, so I make it brief lest I cause hardship to his mother.))

[Hadith Sahih, by Bukhari]

The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, of Ummah who used to read many Ayat of Quran in Al-Fajr Salah, read only short Ayaht lest he caused hardship to the mother whose child was crying. Why are we emotionally drained? Why did we treat other people cruelly? Why do we raise our children to respect worn-out traditions such like revenge and retaliation?

Dear brothers, violence is the main cause of most divorces. Lots of husbands swear by divorce arbitrarily whether there is a reason to do so or not. Ibn Abbas said, "Why should one of you made a foolish mistake (swearing by divorce) then he hurries to me to find him a way out?" What are the bad consequences of divorce on children? They feel torn between parents.

Dear brothers, most of houses are full of violence, and schools are nothing but barracks where the heads of students are saturated with information. Moreover, teaching methodology is based on educating children and giving them information at the expense of raising them and building their personalities. For instance, a teacher may raise hell on a student who doesn't perfectly pronounce the Gunnah in Tajweed, is this how children should be educated? The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:

((Instruct other people and don't rebuke them, because the instructor is better than the rebuker))

[Reported by Al Harith in Daeef Musnad]

4- Cruelty of Media:

Dear brothers, someone said to me, "All you can watch on TV is violence, cruelty and sex." That is exactly what one can watch on T.V; violence and killing scenes are displayed on T.V whether the purpose is to inform people about what is going on (like in news) or to entertain them (like in movies and T.V shows.) Whenever you watch the news, you see killing scenes, the killers and the injured, do not you? Do not these scenes affect our children negatively? They will accumulate in their subconscious and later on the children become violent even in their houses. Actually, the international events are violent makers; there are invasions and wars in many countries such as the forty-year- war in Sudan.

At the summit conference which was held two days ago, someone said, "the Security Council is nothing but 'horror council.'" All its sanctions are imposed on weak countries. When the Security Council imposes economic blockade on a country, who will pay the price? Absolutely the people, while those who are supposed to be punished will get away with it. Only the poor people who will pay the price.

The Security Council which demands countries to prevail democracy, is in itself oppressive in dealing with those countries as it uses double standard policy, is not that violence? Is not the VETO an act of violence? Is not it oppression? Is not it cruelty? What did the pish guest say at the summit conference? He said, "Terrorism is caused by oppression, tyranny and marginalization." This is absolutely true.

Listen to the following Hadith and pay attention to the reaction of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him:

There was famine in Medina. A hungry Muslim entered a garden and picked dates from the trees and ate them. However, he was caught by the owner of the garden. He was beaten and his garments were impounded in return for the dates he ate. Later on, the poor thief came to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, along with the owner of the garden, who beat him and took his garments. The poor thief complained to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him about the owner of the garden because of his treatment. Prophet Muhammad, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, listened to both of them and turned to the owner of the garden:

((He was ignorant; you should have taught him, he was hungry; you should have fed him.))

[Hadith Sahih, by Al Hakim in His Mustadrak]

How did the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, solve the case? He looked for its causes, not its effects to stop them. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:

((You are given help and provision because of your weak ones.))

[Hadith Sahih by Bukhari]

If you feed the weak person when he is hungry, cloth him when he has no clothes, teach him when he is ignorant, cure him when he is sick and gives him information when he lacks it, this person will be a solid member in the society. Consequently, the society will be strong enough against whatever may penetrate it.

5- Cruelty of the religious speech:

Dear brothers, we have mentioned so far cruelty in houses,, at schools, in media and in the international events. Some people say that there is cruelty in the religious speech. Focusing only on the bold serpent in the grave and the hellfire that burns the bodies when the Imam gives a religious lesson, indicates that he uses violent images in his lessons. Well, these images are true and they are mentioned in the Noble Qur'an, but Almighty Allah- as scholars said- has never mentioned any menace but after a promise of mercy. Thus, whenever you give a religious lesson, try to mention both mercy and hellfire, and make people fear Allah's torment, but invite them to love their Lord at the same time. It was reported in the tradition:

"'O Lord, whom among your servants is the dearest to you so that I love him for your sake?' Allah,'The dearest is the one with the pure heart, with clean hands (in his earning), who doesn't hurt others, who loves me, who loves those who love me and who endears me to my creations.' The man said, 'O Lord, you know that I love you, and I love those who love you, but how can I endear you to your creations?' Allah said, 'Remind them of my graces, blessings and affliction, remind them of my graces so that they glorify me.'"

(( Verily, He used not to believe in Allah, the Most Great,))

[Al-Haqqa, 33]

Some people believe in Allah but they don't believe in His Greatness.

The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was sent the revelation, was sent the miracles, he is the Master of mankind, he is the Master of all Prophets and Messengers, he was given eloquence, he was given beauty (his face was like a full moon.) However, Allah addresses him saying:

(( And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you))

[Aal-'Imran, 159]

How will be the situation of the Imam who was not given what the Prophet was given? What will happen to the audience of such Imam if he is harsh-hearted while delivering the religious speech?
There is a mathematic equation indicated in the following Ayah:

(( And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently.?

[Aal-'Imran, 159]

As if Almighty Allah says, " O Muhammad, because of the rooted mercy in your heart, you became lenient in dealing with your companions, and they surrounded you for this. Unless you had that mercy in your heart, you might be harsh-heated, and consequently people would break away from about you."

Mercy ? lenience ? people will always surround you.
Severity of harsh-heartedness people will break away from about you.

There should be a balance between the reward and the punishment in the religious speech. If it is always based on terrifying people, people will be fed up with it and they may break away from about the Imam who delivers such speeches.

Whenever we start doing something we say, In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful, in Salah we say: All the praises and thanks be to Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists), The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful and when we finish our Salah, we say: Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatu Allah (Peace and Allah's mercy be upon you). Words of mercy are always there in our daily life, in our religion and in our Noble Quran.

6- Cruelty of employees:

Dear brothers, a brother from an Arab African country told me how his friend who is from the same country was treated cruelly by one of the employees at the airport. That man is doctor, he lived in America and his children were born in America. He decided to come back to his homeland, so he started to beautify the image of his country in the eyes of his children telling them how wonderful, advanced and free his country is. Before he got back, he paid money to the government in his country, so that his son would not join the army (those who don't serve in the army of their home countries because of being abroad should pay money in order to go back to their countries or else they will be arrested.)Unfortunately, the employees at the airport had no idea about the payment, so one of them said to the father that his son should be arrested and go to prison. The father was shocked, and he said to the employee, "My son visits his homeland for the first time in his life, after being persuaded by me to do so. How can you arrest him?" The employee insisted on taking the son to prison. The father asked the employee to take all the passports and keep them with him till he brought him an official document of the payment, but the employee refused and insisted on taking his son to prison.

Dear brothers, employees like this one who commit violence against people, destroy the future of both the expatriates and the whole country. How can the future of the country be destroyed by such an incident? The young son who was about to be arrested, will get back to America and tell all people he knows there about what happened to him, so these people will not be encouraged to get back to their homelands. We are in dire need of our brilliant children who excel in the western countries. The elite of the Islamic countries live in western countries. Thus, when an employee mistreats an expatriate of his own country, who decides to come back to his homeland, he destroys the future of the whole country by destroying the future of that expatriate.

Dear brothers, bear in mind that when cruelty prevails in the interior relations of a society, it makes the society fragile and about to collapse once it is confronted by an external challenge. This is exactly what happened to some neighboring countries.

7- Cruelty of traditions:

Dear brothers, we inherited traditions and customs of severe and violent nature and they have no relation whatsoever to our religion. These traditions are still followed in most Arab counties. For example, the case of revenge; for what sin the relatives of the killer should be killed? Avenging a murdered man involves the killing of an innocent man for a crime committed by a relative or someone of the same clan? This tradition is still taking place in the suburbs of some Islamic countries. Allah says:

(( And no bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another.))

[Al-An'am, 164]

Even the honor crimes have nothing to do with our religion. The first lady in Islam, Mrs. Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was falsely accused of being unchaste in Hadith Al-Ifk (the slanderous rumour that was fabricated by some hypocrites about Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, the wife of the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, claiming that she committed adultery. The Qur'an declared her innocence of this slander, and Allah warns the Muslims of repeating it,) but what did the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, do? He waited, because he had no proof to confirm that accusation or deny it, until Allah from above seven heavens declared her innocence.

Do you know how many honor crimes are committed in the Muslim world?! I have read about an incident that took place in this town few days ago: A father doubted that his daughter committed adultery, so he took her to an unqualified midwife in order to check if she was virgin or not. The ignorant midwife said that she was not, so the father killed his daughter. Later on, it was proved that his daughter was virgin and she was falsely accused.
Dear brothers, man is responsible before Allah, Allah says:

((And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do) shall be questioned. For what sin she was killed?))

[At-Takwir, 8-9]

I would like to address whoever wonders at the violence of Hajjaj (for all the killings he committed) who said once, "I see among you heads that are ripe for harvest, and I am the man to do it," this statement is rejected religiously speaking and those violent acts are impermissible. In Islam only the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, is infallible, so we should always question the sayings and actions of other people who are not infallible.

Negative effects of cruelty:

Dear brothers, being prevailed as a social phenomenon, violence causes personalities gradual destruction and weakness, not to mention destroying talents, potentials and capacities. Moreover, violence causes cowardliness, hesitation, confusion, fear of trying and fear of committing mistakes. Violence makes people concerned about other's opinions, and it stops them from being happy and enjoying their lives.

Cruelty affects the soul and whoever surrounds the person who is treated violently. One of the most dangerous effects of cruelty is breaking up households, countries, groups of people and institutions. Our master Amr Ibn Al-'As said in describing the Romans: "... they are good to their poor, orphans and weak. Beware, Allah grants victory to the just infidel nation over the tyrant Islamic nation." Scholars also said, "Prosperity in worldly life is granted with justice and infidelity and will never be granted with faith and tyranny."

Dear brothers, violence is one of the causes of our backwardness, weakness and the false accusations, which are fabricated by our enemies, of being terrorists. The violence we witness in the Muslim world is spread in the social infrastructure, in households and between groups of people. Consider the cruelty of the manager towards his workers. He gives the worker only 5000 Liras per month from which the worker pays 1500 for transportations, all what is left for him is 3500 Liras only. The worker still has to pay other expenses such like bills of electricity and water, the price of liquid fuel and other needs, do you think his salary is enough for all these expenses? Is there enough money for meat to eat and cloths to wear? Since there are no job vacancies, and unemployment is spread, the worker is obliged to accept that little salary, whereas his boss is willing is spend 100 thousand Liras per day.

Dear brothers, listen to the following Hadith:

((The Jews collected for Abdullah ibn Rawaha pieces of their women's jewellery as a bribe, but Abdullah ibn Rawaha said, "O tribe of Jews! What you have offered as a bribe is forbidden. By Allah, I came to you from the most beloved to me of Allah's creation, and you are among the most hateful to me of Allah's creation, but it does not prompt me to deal unjustly with you." They said, "This is what supports the heavens and the earth." ))

[Bukhari and Abu Dawood in Sahih Isnad]

Dear brothers, be just, be merciful to others and never exceeds the limits ordained by Allah, so that may Allah bestow his Mercy upon us and save us from the nightmare which we have. The entire world fights against us, intends to annihilate us, cause conflicts between us and plans to put an end to our existence depending on accusations against false extremists, deviated people and connivers.

The existence of the international terrorism is closely attached to the renewal existence of the so called "Islamic terrorism." Whenever the former gets weak, the major states fabricate new terrorism and accuse us of causing it, and they use it a pretext to plunder our resources and oppress our societies. This is the bitter reality we should all realize, because it is thousand times better than the comfortable fantasy.

I say this asking Allah's forgiveness for me and you, as the true success is in gaining Allah's forgiveness, so I ask Him for forgiveness.

* * *

Second sermon:

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds and may He bless and grant peace to our Master Muhammad, the Faithful and the Honest.

Alternatives for cruelty and violence:

Dear brothers, with what can we replace cruelty, violence, oppression, injustice and disdain?

1- Dialogue:

The alternative lies in dialogue. I would like to address the father: talk to your children, be their friend, teach them instead of rebuking them, listen to their complains, check their needs, sit with them and be their therapist. Don't build barriers between you and them or let them be afraid of you when you get home and be relieved when you go out. What makes you a successful father is how to make your children rejoice your coming back home, wish that you live longer and never wish that you die. I was told by a doctor that after he finished examining one of his patients, he told his children that their father is not seriously sick. Upon hearing that, the children frowned and scowled, because they wished that their father had a serious disease. That father was stingy, so his children wished for his death.

Dear brother, those of you who are managers, talk to your employees, find out whatever bothers them and what makes them get hurt by you. Ask them how they can satisfy their needs with such little salary, try to help them and give them top priority.

I would like to ask the teachers to talk to their students. Actually dialogue is needed with all people around you, but it should be based on Quran. We should have a common ground of durable proofs and research mythology in all our debates. You should resort to dialogue even if the other person is deviated. A man asked the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, to give him permission to commit fornication. The man did that before of all the Companions. He wanted the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, to allow him to commit something unacceptable and condemned: Narrated by Abi Umamah Al Bahili, may Allah be pleased with him:

((Once a young man came to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, asking permission for committing fornication. The people, then, started to rebuke him and said, "shush, shush." Then he asked him, "Do you like it for your mother?" "No may Allah make me a sacrifice for you," the man replied. "So are people," the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, commented. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, asked again, "Do you like it for your daughter?" "No may Allah make me a sacrifice for you," the man replied. "So are people," the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, commented. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, asked once more, "Do you like it for your sister?" The man replied "No may Allah make me a sacrifice for you." The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, commented, "So are people." The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, eventually asked, "Do you like it for your aunt?" The man replied, "No may Allah make me a sacrifice for you." The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, commented, "So are people." Whereupon the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, placed his hand upon him and said, "O Allah! May you forgive his sins, purify his heart and make him chaste." The young man did not pay attention to any thing else thereafter.))

[Ahmad and Al Tabarani in Al Kabeer]

The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessing upon him, talked to him wisely not violently.

2- Modesty:

Dear brothers, when we our life is based on teamwork mentality, we will be all in one boat (as one group.) Thus, our success and failure will be collective. To accomplish such a target, we should not achieve our triumph by weakening our brothers, we should not strengthen ourselves by causing them deterioration nor should we collect our wealth by impoverishing them. When we work together as one team, we will all survive. Allah says:

(( The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion).))

[Al-Hujuraat, 10]

Whosoever considers himself superior to others is a racist. When a Bedouin entered upon the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, he asked, "Who is Muhammad?" What does that indicate ? It indicates that Muhammad, may Allah have and blessings upon him, was never distinguished from his companions. Thus, you should not consider yourself superior to the members of your family or your brothers in the Masjid, because Islam makes all Muslims and believers equal.

(( The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion).))

[Al-Hujuraat, 10]

3- Justice:

Dear brothers, justice is the pillar of ownership, of the successful family, of the factory where rules are applied to all its workers alike and of every institution.
Narrated Abi Saeed Al Khedri, may Allah be pleased with him, he said:

((A Bedouin came to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, to ask him to pay back a debt that he owed him, and he spoke harshly, saying: 'I will make things difficult for you unless you repay me.' So the Companions rebuked him and said: 'Woe to you, do you know who you are speaking to?' He said: 'I am only asking for my rights.' The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said (to his Companions): 'Why do you not side with the one who has a rightful claim?' Then he sent word for Khawlah bint Qais, saying to her 'If you have dates, lend them to us until our dates arrive, then we will pay you back' She said: 'Yes, may my father be ransomed for you, O Messenger of Allah!' So she gave him a loan, and he paid back the Bedouin and fed him. He (the Bedouin) said, 'You have fulfilled your obligation, may Allah repay you in full.' He (the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him then said: 'These are the best of people. A nation in which the weak cannot get his due right without trouble will not be regarded as pure.'))

[Hadith Sahih, by Ibn Majah]

Narrated by Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:

((The people before you were destroyed because they used to inflict the legal punishments on the poor and forgive the rich.))

[Hadith Sahih, by Bukhari and Muslim]

4- Cheerfulness:

Sometimes we get bored, so it is preferable to cheer up our souls from time to time. It was reported in the tradition:

((Amuse your hearts every other hour, because if the heart is fed up with something, it becomes blind [of it].))

You can enjoy yourself by telling nice jokes, kidding your family, smiling, laughing and going for a picnic even if it was humble, to a nearby area and by a bus. These things bring joy to the family members. Actually, cheering up your heart and soul moderately makes your souls tranquil. Spreading kind words has the same effect, and remember the good word is Sadaqah.

5- Forgiveness:

Spreading forgiveness:

(( Let them pardon and forgive.))

[An-Nur, 22]

((But forgive them, and overlook (their misdeeds). Verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (good-doers))

[Al-Ma'idah, 13]

(( So turn away from them (O Muhammad), and say: Salam (peace)! But they will come to know.))

[Az-Zukhruf, 89]

Abu Huraira narrated, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:

((The strong man is not the one who can overpower others. Rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.))

[Hadith Sahih, by Bukhari and Muslim]

Dear brother, when you go to sleep, why do not you supplicate and ask Allah for the best for your fellow believers and Muslims (male or female) with no exception? Why don't you make Du'a exclusively for those who oppressed and insulted you? Why don't you make the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, the example to follow? He, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, was beaten yet he said:

((O Allah, forgive my people, for they do not know.))

[Hadith Sahih, by Bukhari and Muslim]

Our master Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, felt deeply hurt and he was taken by his human nature when a person, to whom he used to give charity, insulted his daughter (Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her) in Ifk Hadeth, so he decided to stop giving him charity. As a result, Almighty Allah blamed him saying::

(( And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give (any sort of help) to their kinsmen, Al-Masakin (the poor), and those who left their homes for Allah's Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you??

[An-Nur, 22]

As-Siddiq burst in tears upon listening to this Ayah and said, "Sure, I love that Allah forgives me."He resumed giving charity to that man although he was mistreated by him.
The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, said:

((There was a merchant who would lend money to people. Whenever he saw a poor person who could not pay, he would tell his workers, 'Write off his debt that Allah may forgive us.' So Allah forgave him.))

[Bukhari and Muslim]

6- Moderation:

Dear brothers, missioners should be moderate in their religious speech. Some missioners are always accusing others of being polytheists and innovators considering themselves guardians over Muslims. Such behavior is rejected in religion; as a missioner you are one of the Muslims, so you should advice them kindly and wisely. A poet says:

O scholars, beware! You are the salt of our country
So, who will be able to fix the salt if it is spoilt?

Dear brothers, I hope that all of us make use of these Quranic and Prophetic facts of which we are in dire need. The painful fact is that Islam, the great and divine religion is consider the religion of murder, cruelty, violence and extremism. The enemies of Islam make benefit of such a fact, so you should always be a good representative of Muslims, and never be the reason for hating them. Bear in mind that each one of you is guarding a gate of Islam, so you shouldn't let Islam be attacked through that gate.

Supplication:

We beseech you Allah to show us the way of rightness, together with those to whom You have showed it; and give us good health, together with those whom You have healed; and be our Protector, together with those for whom You have become their Protector; and bless us in what You have bestowed on us and save us from the afflictions that You have decreed, for You rule with justice and You are never judged. He whom You protect shall never be humiliated, and he whom You make enemy shall never be exalted. Blessed and dignified are You, and we thank You for what You have decreed. We ask You for Forgiveness for our sins, and we repent to You.
O Allah, guide us to perform a good deed, as You are the One Who guides to the best of deeds. O Allah, make us do well in the religion which is our dignity and make our lives good, for it is our living and make us safe on the Day of Judgment, for it is our final destination. O Allah, make life our supply for all good things and make death a rest from every evil, O our Master, the Lord of all Worlds.

O Allah, make me prefer everything You have made lawful to everything You have made unlawful, let Your Mercy make me independent of all others and make me obedient to You and turn me away from disobedience.
O Allah, our Lord, grant peace and blessings to Sayyidina Muhammad, his Family and his Companions.

Translation  : Noura Al-Sharabi
Edited by      : Kawthar Hajj Saleh